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Flavor of the Month

2012-03-26 09:00:00

As a mom I feel like I am supposed to be eager to listen to my childrens discussions about their favorite topics. I am supposed to listen, make smart comments that don't include "Uh huh" "(yawn) cool" and "that's nice dear". I am supposed to engage them in conversation, eeking out those moments of connections when my children want to share something with me. Because I keep hearing that once they hit the teen years I'm going to miss these moments.

I utterly fail at this.

Now, don't get me wrong, I love me a good convo with the boys. Sometimes they say things that have my chortling until two in the morning. But take a fork and stick me in the eye when the boys go off on a tangent about something that makes me want to knock my head back and snore.

Xavier has what I call "flavor of the months". It's whatever he is completely into at the moment. He's had several and I bet you I know more about Thomas the Tank Engine, Hot Wheels, Star Wars, Indianna Jones, Bey Blades, Pokemon, Roblox, etc than the average parent. Because when Xavier gets a flavor of the month that is ALL he will talk about. The past few months it's all about Minecraft.

I'll wake up in the morning, still unable to walk coherantly, searching for clothes and Xavier is already at my door, telling me about some diamond he found in minecraft already this morning and how he plans on finding 64 more of them as soon as he gets his homework done and did you know that in Minecraft you can..... (by this time my eyes are glazing over).

Sitting down for my morning jolt of caffeine, trying to coax my brain into working, Xavier will walk by, back up two steps and start up where he left off. Did you know that in Minecraft you can build your own secret tunnels and that he made one last night but when we walked down it a zombie came after him, but zombies are slow and he had a shovel in his hand and was able to get away by making a...... (and now I'm drooling over the only clean shirt I could find).

Driving to carpool, I can hear Xavier trying to shout something to me from the back seat of the minivan while I'm trying to stop Soren and Ashe from beating on each other and listen to the news. Most mornings I adore how cavernous my van is. The whole ride there I nod my head and mutter "uh huh" and keep surrupticiously turning the radio up bit by bit as he continues without taking a breath.

I then have a little over 6 hours of a break.

Picking up from school, it's the same. During homework time he tries in vain to keep the discussion going but I have a strong anti-discussion unless it pertains to homework rule. Every five minutes when he starts a sentence I ask him if it's about homework. 95% of the time it's not and I tell him I'm not listening.

Dinner comes around and we gather as a family to talk about their day. J talks about whatever project he's working on. Ashe talks about Zelda. Soren barks. And Xavier is turning blue as he goes on about how after dinner, he's going to get on MineCraft and build a really cool roller coaster because he likes rollercoasters a lot but he's going to make one that reaches the moon and goes through caves that have zombies....

Every two minutes I remind him to eat. And don't talk with your mouth full! And by that time it's 5pm and I'm starting to chug wine.

If you are a parent who listens to every word your child says, you're a better parent than I. And while I salute you, I'm ok with not being the best parent in the world. Especially if it means I can stop hearing about the flavor of the month for a good portion of the day.

For more amusing anecdotes from SRM, check out her blog at http://suburbanrebelmom.blogspot.com/ or follow her on Facebook

Unrestful Observations

2012-03-23 09:00:00

"The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable."

Children are both smart and ruthless. They all have a sixth sense on when their parental units finally have a moment to breathe and they leap into action, determined to never allow a second of peace. MY kids have this down to a science.

Today is a typical day. By the time 10AM rolled around I had broken up five fights, microwaved my cup of tea three times, and was unable to get to my new cup of tea before it had oversteeped and was cold to the touch. Any time the boys were finally ensconced into an activity and they seemed content, if I even dared to start walking toward the bathroom all hell would break loose. As I type this I have already been interrupted three times by Ashe: once to help him put on my belt so he had a place to hang his sword. Once to ask how he looked with his sword and belt. Once to take the belt off.

I've only been typing for five minutes. I'm waiting for interruption #4 and it should happen any second now. Oh wait... there it is.

I don't get it. It's uncanny, disturbing, and downright aggravating. How is it that I can spend an hour trying to ensure that the boys are happily playing something they love, but as soon as I turn my back to them with the intent of chugging my lukewarm tea, things go to hell. There must be some secret kid code they use, silently communicating to one another, activating Code Unrest if they even think I am thinking of a quick break. I need to search their rooms for clues. I bet they have a hand book that teaches them these nefarious ways. I should study it and use their tactics against them. It is the only way to strike back before I lose my sanity!

Please tell me I'm not the only one

For more amusing anecdotes from SRM, check out her blog at http://suburbanrebelmom.blogspot.com/ or follow her on Facebook

Co-Sleeping

2012-03-19 09:00:00

Once in awhile I get an email from some random mom site I signed up for long time ago. 99% of the time I tend to trash them without giving them a look. But one title last week stood out to me. It was "Is Co-Sleeping Always a Bad Idea?".

If you had asked me this three years ago I may have tilted my head to the side as I pondered that question with serious thoughts to both sides of the argument. However, three kids later my answer was fast and furious: NO!

Let me explain:

BC I never would have even thought about co-sleeping. I am a bed whore. I like room. I use giant blankets so J and I never have to worry about the other hogging it. My pillows are so important to me that I tend to bring them with me to hotels instead of their crappy ones, and I brought MY pillow to the hospital when Xavier and Ashe were born. I sleep hard. I don't screw around with sleeping. And there was no way I would ever feel comfortable with a tiny infant in my bed. I would be so worried that I would never get any rest.

This worked for all of us as a family. Xavier and Ashe slept perfectly fine in their crib (or car seat as that seemed to be their ultimate favorite spot to sleep). Co-Sleeping was a non issue for us and I would have stayed blissfully in the middle of the fence in regards to this topic.

And then I had Soren.

Soren threw our world upside down in more ways than one. This was just one little topic where I had thought, as a parent of two already, I was knowledgeable. I still giggle when I think back to how naive I was.

For the first 6 months of his life, Soren refused, REFUSED to sleep unless he was touching me or J in some way. It just wasn't happening. I tried all sorts of different ways to try and get it so that we were touching while he was in his crib and I in my bed. It was never good enough for him. After endless days and nights with no sleep, in a fit of desperation I brought Soren into our bed. He was out like a light. And he slept the entire night through.

The first couple of weeks I kept myself awake almost nonstop, scared witless I would crush him. I moved pillows out, had no blankets. I refused to be one of those moms who woke up and found out she had smothered her precious darling while passed out, dreaming about the hunk of the month. But after while I started relaxing, and bit by bit we all got comfortable and most importantly... sleep.

It really wasn't that bad. As a new mom I don't sleep heavily anyways. I'm always on the alert. So the moment my baby made a sound that could be heard I was up, and aware. Most of the time it would just be him snuffling in contentment and he scootched closer to me.

If I hadn't given in and brought him to our share our bed, the household would have been a wreck. Everyone would have been at each others throats due to lack of sleep. You don't get much sleep with an infant anyway, so *any* sleep you can get you take. And from his perspective I get it. Your baby is nestled quite snugly for 9 months and then all of a sudden you expect him to sleep by himself? Hell no!

With three unique kids, I have learned on this path of parenting that there is NO such thing as one right way to parent. What works for one kid won't work for another. I've seen it time and again with my three kids. And while I would prefer to have my own bed, I also can get behind co-sleeping. Sometimes, it works. And I admit, I miss waking up once in awhile to find the most amazing little guy snug in the crook of my arm sighing happily, knowing he is safe and loved. It's one of my favorite memories.

Everyone has the right to their opinion, and feel free to disagree with me. But no random email from some moms site, I don't think Co-Sleeping is always bad. I think judging other moms for the choices they make to fit their family is bad.

For more amusing anecdotes from SRM, check out her blog at http://suburbanrebelmom.blogspot.com/ or follow her on Facebook

Living The Dog's Life

2012-03-16 09:00:00

It has come to my attention that I no long have three boys. I now seem to have two boys and a human looking dog. Fortunately our new "canine" is potty trained. And I don't have to take it out for walks on a leash because if I did, like a good dog owner should, I'd probably have DSS on my porch in an instance.

Soren has decided that he wants to be a dog. What this means is that he walks around on all fours, ruffs at everything, and enjoys sneaking up on me when I'm in the middle of my book, and lick my face. Or my pant leg.

I know all kids go through this phase at some point, but none of them ever LICKED my pant leg before!!!!

Every once in awhile he tries to get us to feed him dinner on the floor. That doesn't fly at my house though. He also tried it at my moms last weekend, When I drove over to pick the kids up, she pulled me aside and quietly asked me if she was supposed to feed him on the floor like a dog as he had asked. I told her no, please god no. Fortunately she thought the same thing and refused.

If it keeps up I may have to start treating him like a dog. No playgrounds for dogs. No Chick-Fil-A for dogs. Dogs are not allowed on the couch and they sure don't get to play with Dad's I Pad!!!! I wonder how long his phase would last then?

For more amusing anecdotes from SRM, check out her blog at http://suburbanrebelmom.blogspot.com/ or follow her on Facebook

Angry Birds

2012-03-14 09:00:00

I think I am the only one left in this world that does not play Angry Birds. I tried it but I just don't get the hype. However, my kids are addicted to it like junkies on crack. I blame my mom, who is also an addict. In fact, that's how the boys learned about the game in the first place. One day they came home from her house chattering away non stop about birds and pigs and eggs and could they please get the app please please please? And while Soren doesn't talk much his language is advancing steadily as he tries to communicate his love for this game. He makes the cutest freaking noises when he mimics the birds and pigs. he can say egg and uh oh. And when he strings them all together it's an orchestra of words and sounds, but you know exactly what he's saying.

Now each night J is stuck trying to unlock new levels for Soren so he can play.

After seeing that this phenomenon was not going to die fast, I mentioned to J that it would be cool to get some stuffed animals of the Angry Birds. My reasoning behind this was that, instead of playing on the Ipad all day, the boys could make their own real life angry birds. So J found some and they arrived yesterday evening. As I had hoped, within minutes the boys had pulled out their blocks and started making their own Angry Bird Level.s I was able to snag a snapshot before they knocked it down:

I want to see how long this will go. I'm thinking if this really takes off for more than a week, I may go ahead and buy more blocks and more of these stuffed animals. J just might get his Ipad back!

For more amusing anecdotes from SRM, check out her blog at http://suburbanrebelmom.blogspot.com/ or follow her on Facebook

Roleplaying Woes

2012-03-12 09:00:00

I'd like to lodge a complaint against Nintendo. It has come to my attention that their most popular games are sexist. I find myself in a reoccurring situation where my children role play their favorite Nintendo games and I am always stuck as the stupid princess who needs rescuing.

Every day Ashe dresses up as Link, his favorite character EVER, and races off to fight Gannon, the evil wizard. And every day he comes up to me with soulful eyes, caresses my cheek and tells me that I am his Princess Zelda, and he will save me. I should not be afraid, because he is brave, and strong, and he will defeat Gannon and rescue me!!!

Or....

Ashe will dress up as Mario and come to me with soulful eyes, caress my cheek softly and tell me that I am Princess Peach, and he will save me from the evil Bowser, who has me captive in his dungeon. I should not be afraid for he is brave, and strong!

Ok look. I get that, as the only female in a house of five I will sometimes have to role play for my children characters I don't necessarily like. But c'mon! I don't always want to be the stupid princess that keeps getting caught by evil wizards or turtle dragons!!! I don't want to be told that I will be rescued and to not be afraid! Can't I be someone cool? Someone who can also fight too? Someone who isn't delegated to the couch a la high tower? I want to have my sword and fight evil villains! And I HATE pink dresses!!!! I hate pink in general!!!

I AM NOT A PINK KIND OF FEMALE!!!!!!!

/sigh

The things I do for my kids. They better remember as they grow up how much I love them. I love them enough to keep quiet and nod at them, and I am polite enough to turn my head away when I roll my eyes, when I am told yet again, that I need to be rescued. And to not be afraid.

Stupid sexist video games.

For more amusing anecdotes from SRM, check out her blog at http://suburbanrebelmom.blogspot.com/ or follow her on Facebook

My Little Exhibitionist

2012-03-09 09:00:00

ex·hi·bi·tion·ism (ks-bsh-nzm)n.

1. The act or practice of deliberately behaving so as to attract attention.

2. Psychiatry A psychosexual disorder marked by the compulsive exposure of the genitals in public.

It is normal for little ones to strip down to their skivvy's. It is normal for little ones to resist bedtime. It is normal for little ones to assert their independence by doing the two statements above.

But is it normal for little ones to resist going to bed, whisking off all clothing and dance on their windowsill for the neighbors pleasure each night?

Soren seems to think so.

The past few nights Soren has decided that once the light is turned off and the door closed, he can start his own strip club. He's even got the music and lights going (lullaby's from around the world and a ladybug stuffed animal that lights up stars on the ceiling). While I get that nakedness is normal, it is a pain in the butt to have to run up three flights of stairs to replace his Diego pull ups so there are no accidents.

However, its not the nakedness that bugs me. Heck, all three of my kids at that age preferred to have nothing on as much as possible. There were no pants to have accidents in. They could play with theirbody parts to their utter delight. I mean, who wouldn't want to be able to walk around nude more often if they could get away with it?

My concern is more for our neighbors sake. You see, once the lights go down, and the musics turns on, Soren has taken to stripping down on his windowsill and dancing for the neighbors. And with his bedroom on the third floor, I assure you, NOTHING is hidden.

The other night we were raiding in game. We had Ventrillo on, and were chatting with our friends around the country as we prepared to kick some pixellated butt as a team. One of our guildies has a 6 month old daughter and we could hear her happily chirping away in the background whenever he spoke. At one point he said how she was such a delight and was the perfect darling baby.

A few minutes later Ashe came running down the stairs yelling "DAAAAAD!!!! SOREN IS DANCING NAKED IN THE WINDOW AGAIN!!!" J yelled "AFK!" in vent and ripped off his headset while I sat there rolling my eyes. I quipped to my friend with the baby that he better enjoy her perfection now because in two years, he'd be dealing with a naked girl dancing in the window and have to run AFK like J.

Most of us in the guild are parents and can appreciate both the horror and humor that goes with raising little ones. This started us off on a run of "What my kid did to drive me crazy this week", and commentaries of how their own kids strip naked and do weird things at night. It's nice to have a bunch of friends who get this whole parenting thing, and can sympathize with you, trading war stories of their own. Fortunately no one had their neighbors complain to them. I'm knocking on wood our neighbor's were once parents themselves, and will be understanding if Soren continues his little exhibitionist behavior. Maybe their kids danced naked in the windows at some point too.

For more amusing anecdotes from SRM, check out her blog at http://suburbanrebelmom.blogspot.com/ or follow her on Facebook

Go Go Gadget....

2012-03-07 09:00:00

When I was pregnant with Soren and we were doomed to buy an (gulp) minivan, we also purchased a DVD player for the van for long car rides. But there was a rule: no tv watching unless we were in the car for an hour or longer (which rarely happens here as everything aside from the zoo is less than 30 minutes away).

We've stuck to that rule despite a myriad of complaints for years. But while we still don't use the DVD player, I have broken the gadget rule over the past few months and I can't believe how I ever got along before that.

Let me explain.

Since Xavier's school is technically out of district I have to carpool. Every morning I hustle all three boys into the car, drive ten minutes there, wait in line for five, then ten minutes home. Every afternoon I have to hustle two boys into the car, one who would have recently woken up from his nap and is still grumpy. Then I drive ten minutes there, wait thirty minutes for the snake like line to move, and drive ten minutes home. That's on a good day. So every weekday I am stuck in the van with two kids who would rather be running around for a minimum of 50 minutes.

That's 50 minutes of listening to two kids bicker, whine, sing to children's music, and kick the back of my seat. It's enough to drive a saint insane and I am no saint.

Christmas time the boys got some cool toys. Ashe got a DS for his birthday (right before Christmas) and Santa brought the boys a Nook Tablet to share. J also got an Ipad for work, which really means the boys get to play with it. With the excitement of these gadgets still new I started bending the rules and letting the boys pick one gadget to bring with them to keep them occupied during carpool.

This one bent rule has made a world of difference in my sanity.

For 50 minutes the boys have one gadget of their choice. They can play Angry Birds to their hearts content, or Zelda, or read a book, or whatever they want to do within parental controls. They are happy. But most importantly, they are QUIET! I can now sit in carpool and read a chapter of my book while the boys are quietly engaged. And it's been heaven.

Does it make me a bad mom? Nah. You have to learn to roll with life with parenting, and you have to know when to pick your battles. This just wasn't one of them. If I were a kid and had to be stuck in a car for almost an hour a day, I'd have gone crazy too so I can sympathize. And there is only so much kids music one can listen to before it gets old and you start contemplating ramming your minivan into the car in front of you.

I personally think this is a win/win situation and wish I had thought of this sooner.

For more amusing anecdotes from SRM, check out her blog at http://suburbanrebelmom.blogspot.com/ or follow her on Facebook

Life Lesson: Tantrums

2012-03-05 09:00:00

Everyone has a tantrum once in awhile and I am no exception. We parents tend to watch our kids in abject awe and horror when they melt down into pure emotional turmoil as their faces turn beet red, scrunch up their faces and loose forth their undiluted feelings in ear piercing shrieks and screams. But after yesterday, I totally sympathize, and will strive to remember that feeling of rage and frustration without the ability to use words to explain the depth of your utter pissed offness.

I admit that what I got super pissy about was low on the totem pole of things to go crazy over. The actuality of what happened is not important. It was more that, during my time of leisure while gaming, something was *not fair*. And while I get that life isn't fair, I still hold to that childish fantasy that leisure activities should be fair. Gaming is supposed to be an escape from life, from unfairness, from all those things that tick you off during the day. It's supposed to be a place to focus that pent up energy of the day and let loose with the knowledge that since it's not real, it's rules can be bent to be fair, or as fair as possible.

And because of my naive hope that if *I* show how to be fair to others that they will in turn do the same for me (and despite the fact they never have to this day I still keep trying to be the bigger person), I lost out big time on a major event last night. I keep hoping that I won't have to be put in that position in the first place. I keep hoping that instead of having to step up (again) and volunteer to sit out so that the raid could start, the powers that be would do their job and choose people who had not sat out for a long time to make it fair.Or at least acknowledge the sacrifice I offer for the betterment of the guild. But they didn't in either case, again. It's been a long standing problem lately. And it was the final straw for me so I had my tantrum.

I recognize this is just plain silly and I own that. But knowing something logically and FEELING something are not existential.

Last night, after losing out on such an incredible event (again) for being the bigger person I had my tantrum. I wanted to throw blocks at the wall and scream. I wanted to yell and hurt feelings because I hurt too. I wanted to rage. I wanted to quit. I got offline and seethed, yelled, and had my fit. And J rocked. He let me tantrum without telling me I was being childish or immature. He never once mocked me for losing control of my feelings. In fact he validated them, and it made me feel better. It allowed me to feel my emotions and then let go, instead of having to defend them. Just as we parents will calmly hold our children when they tantrum, and let them know we understand. We validate their feelings. Their feelings aren't wrong, or bad. They just are. They are a part of us that need to be recognized once in awhile. Because if we ignore those feelings, if we ignore the urge to tantrum once in awhile, it bottles up and will need an out eventually. Bottled up tantrums are scary for everyone involved.

Maybe we should take a page from our kids book, and allow ourselves to tantrum more. Have you ever noticed how they can bounce right back after a good scream and let go? We adults have a very hard time with that. Most of us hold on to our emotions for days.

If only we adults stopped trying to "grow up" and put tantrums behind us, we could maybe achieve that feeling of validation and contentment more often for ourselves.

For more amusing anecdotes from SRM, check out her blog at http://suburbanrebelmom.blogspot.com/or follow her on Facebook

Housework Horros

2012-03-02 16:51:31

I think we can all agree that housework sucks. In general, it's one of those things that you HAVE to do, but really, all you want to do is cuddle up on the couch with a glass of Brandy and read a good book. But alas, at least once in awhile you have to suck it up and try to complete a chore or two.

But doing housework for a family of 5 is something that should be in its own category. It is not the housework most people recognize. You would think that a family of 5 would create 5 times more housework but you would be dead wrong. Without exagerating, it's more like 20 times the amount. And when you add in little boys who are learning to use the toilet (or still learning how to aim correctly) it's a whole 'nother ball game.

I wrote awhile ago about doing laundry for 5. Today, after a few close encounters of hit and run activity while I tidied up the house, I thought I'd add more to that lament.

*Vacuuming*

Try and imagine yourself in the middle of a battlefield. Instead of landmines you deal with Lego pieces. Of course, you bribed your kids to clean up before you start, and when that didn't work, you threatened to suck up every toy on the floor with your giant vaccum. But still, you're going to find a Lego piece or 5 forgotten in the haste to clear off the floor so that Mom doesn't trash a beloved stuffie. Trust me.

Next, imagine one kid has a sensitivity to loud sounds. This is a kid who freaks out sobbing at the thought of fireworks, and constantly asks me to turn down the volume of -42 because it's too loud. This is the same kid who screeches to me when his younger brother is playing with one of is toys every 5 minutes. I don't get it either. But anytime the vaccum gts pulled out he races to the couch in utter fear.

Add in another kid who used to be afraid of the vaccum, but now realizes that it's it the coolest freaking game ever. He races to the toy box and throws everything out (that he just finished picking up) to find his toy sword. And the moment that vaccum goes he charges, sword thrust out in front of him, ready to slay the vaccum. Then he runs away, tripping on the cord, only to circle around and try again.

NOW add in the freaked out kid who sees his brother having a ball, and decides to join in. He races off to the toy box, hauling out more toys, to find his sword, and the game is on. All I want is to vaccum my "almost white" carpets in peace. And maybe to be able to see said carpets for at least 15 minutes. But nope, by the time I give up, the floor is covered in toys, the boys have tripped over the wire at least three times each, and I can't even tell that I had a clean room a mere 5 minutes ago.

/sigh

*Dishes*

Aside from laundry, dishes are the bane of my existance. I hated doing them so much that my dear, dear husband has kindly taken over the majority of that chore. Still, even knowing I am not doing the lions share of dishes they still suck.

We have a smallish dishwasher and it doesnt matter ow frugal you are with cups and dishes over the day, it will fill up at least three times. I tried for the longest time to give each boy one cup to use per day, hoping that it would cut down on dishwashing. it didn't. Somehow those b******* multiply faster than rabbits.

I have now convinced myself that it is cheaper to buy paper plates and plastic cups at BJ's and use those for breakfast and lunch, than to pay the water bill for the ungodly amount of dishes (and laundry) we have to clean for a family of 5. But now I'm running out of silverware each day. Maybe I should add plastic forks to the next shopping list....

*Bathrooms*

Really, this one doesn't need much clarification. I live in a household with four males, three of which are young. All I have to say is, none of my children will ever be the winner of any type of accuracy contest, like archery. Ever. Did I mention we have four bathrooms? Yeah.

I can't be the only one with household horror stories. Let's hear yours!

For more amusing anecdotes from SRM, check out her blog at http://suburbanrebelmom.blogspot.com/ or follow her on Facebook

Schooled Out

2012-02-28 09:00:00

Yesterday I went to Xavier's school three times. By the end of the night I was starting to feel like I should have bought a backpack and a bagged meal with me.

The first time was for a meeting. I met up with Xavier's teachers to discuss his focusing problems. His main issue is that he won't stop talking about his "flavor of the month" during any transition period. This month it's Minecraft. I asked what the teacher did when this happened and I swear, she blushed and looked down, saying she feels bad but she will ask him to stop. I did not roll my eyes, realizing that she may have met a parent or two who would freak out and yell "YOU DON'T SAY THAT TO MY BABY!!!!" I gave her permission to tell that to my baby as many dang times as she needed to. I told her what I did during homework: if he starts talking about anything nonhomework related it sounds like this:

Me: "is it about homework?"

Xavier:"....um no...?"

Me: "Then I don't want to hear about it until your homework is done."

5 minutes later......

Me: "Is it about homework?"

Xavier:(sighs) "No."

Me: Then get back to homework and tell me when you're done."

The teacher looked both grateful and hopeful after I told her I was totally ok with her doing this in class, and to also let him know that non class related subjects were not to be talked about unless it was during free time, lunch or recess. We also got his homework cut down. Everyone 'round the table agreed 2-3 hours of math was ridiculous. While I know Xavier will be happy I have to say I am beyond excited to know my weeknights will stop consisting of hours of long division. I did that crap when I was his age. I don't want to do it again.

The second reason was to pick Xavier up from school early. I was called by the school nurse to come pick him up. While he didn't have a fever, she said he looked pale. We ALL look pale! My nickname as a kid was Snow White, and while I may have moved down to a sunnier climate, I can still blend in with paper. But I went to pick him up, and he spent the rest of the day lying down reading or watching movies.

Finally, I had a special education session in the evening. I was asked to be a guest speaker for parents with children with ADHD, and to tell Xavier's story. It was a great experience to meet other parents in similar situations, and to watch peoples eyes light up as I spoke about what we all go through as a family, to see that realization that they weren't the only ones who had seriously crappy mornings before the medication kicked in.

Yesterday reminded me how much I appreciate being an adult and parent. I am so glad I don't have to go to school anymore like the kids do. And I loved the fact that, as an adult, I could (and did) banter with the teachers about it being 5pm somewhere. If I tried that when I was younger, it might have gone on my school record

For more amusing anecdotes from SRM, check out her blog at http://suburbanrebelmom.blogspot.com/ or follow her on Facebook

FOCUS!

2012-02-24 09:00:00

Murphy's Law can bite me. I had just hit the publish button for my "Morning Miracles" blog when I received an email from Xavier's teacher requesting a meeting. It seems that he is having difficulty in paying attention in class. We set up a meeting for the 19th, and I emailed Xavier's Special Education teacher, asking if she could please join us, to which she agreed to.

That afternoon when I picked Xavier up from school, I mentioned the email, and asked him if there were any areas he was having trouble concentrating on. "MATH" he yelled from the backseat. So I told him that we were going to sit down that day together, and I would not leave his side while he did his math homework. I would be there to answer any questions and help him. I would not DO it for him though.

So we got home, and going through the mountain of paperwork that always arrives on a Monday afternoon, I saw one possible issue that could cause focus issues in class. Xavier is starting to learn long division. And the teacher is showing the kids multiple ways on how to do it. Now. For a normal kid, this would probably work just fine. But for a kid with severe ADHD, the more possible ways to do something, the more confusing it can be. It clicked why he was having issues. And frankly. reading the explanation the teacher sent home made my own ADD kick into high gear. I couldn't follow it at all.

So I sat down and showed Xavier how to do division the way *I* do it. And after a lot of questions, it seemed to click. So we grabbed some paper and pencils, and sat down to get to work.

This kid focused his butt off. I will give major props to him after this day of homework. He didn't lose track, he didn't get up a lot. He sat there with me by his side, and worked hard. Even knowing this, it took him 3 hours to finish 1 1/2 pages of homework. 3 flipping hours with the both of us sitting there, working on long division. He never lost focus. I, on the other hand, started daydreaming about alcohol around the 45 minute mark.

By 7:30 I had had enough. Even though we didn't get to any of the other homework, I sent Xavier off to play for the last hour before bed. I wrote a note to the teacher, explaining the situation and letting her know I was totally ok with him not finishing his homework that night. She wrote back the next day to let me know she agreed and was cool with it as well.

The following day I called my friend S, both to crow about Xavier's ability to sit and focus, but to also bent about three hours of long division. She gave me a great idea on how to make it easier. You flip the paper sideways so that each number has it's own column and it's easier to see. I tried it that afternoon. With the combined efforts of having it starting to really click for him, and the sideways paper, we cut it down to 45 minutes.

Xavier has an IEP that allows for his homework to be scaled down if needed. We haven't used that yet, but I think I'm going to bring that up at the teacher meeting. While I want Xavier to succeed, I also want him to have time to play too. I'll update after the meeting

For more amusing anecdotes from SRM, check out her blog at http://suburbanrebelmom.blogspot.com/ or follow her on Facebook

Morning Miracles

2012-02-21 09:00:00

DEEP AND SAPPY BLOG AHEAD!

Throughout the past several months while I haven't been blogging, we've been working hard to help Xavier with his ADHD issues. We had a point where we had to call the Dr and say "you know what? We think something else may be going on. The meds aren't working, and he's sometimes acting like Curious George on crack."

We were referred to a psychiatrist who thought that it might be possible that Xavier may have Bi-Polar, but it wasn't concrete enough to give an official diagnosis. it does run in the family. After talking to family members so I had enough information to hand over to doctors while we tried to figure things out, I found out my paternal grandmother was Bi-Polar. I knew she had been in a mental hospital at one point in time, but never knew the official diagnosis.

That said, we're still working with severe ADHD, and if things start to change again, we will revisit it, as suggested by the Dr. He is too young right now, and too low on the spectrum for it to be diagnosed anyways. We (combined minds of several doctors and parents) think that his Curious George Mentality happened when he outgrew his medication. So over the past few months we have been trying to find the right medication, and the perfect dose.

Yay that we finally found it! It took awhile and we had some rocky moments, both in school and at home. But the special education resources at his school are amazing, and I have developed a bond with his special education teacher. We're actually now working together with other parents to create informational sessions for new parents with children with special needs. Its amazing how much help it can be to know you are not alone when you have a child who is not "typical."

But still, the mornings and evenings can be tough, even with the right meds. Before meds kick in, Xavier is likely to bounce all over the place, unable to focus for more then three seconds on one thing. He bothers his brothers by getting in their space, which causes epic tantrums from all three (add four if you want to include J who deals with the kids in the morning.) And at night when the meds have worn off, he's all over the place again.

Until two weeks ago, when, one morning, Xavier woke up at 6:15, an hour earlier than his brothers. J gave him his booster meds with breakfast, and without anyone around for him to bother, Xavier was quietly able to get his school stuff ready, and had plenty of time to play before we had to leave for carpool. By the time the two younger boys woke up, he was engrossed in his own thing and didn't bother them while they had breakfast. It was a huge change. Normally I wake up to everyone yelling or screeching, and J losing his patience. This time I woke up to happy smiling faces.

It was such a profound difference that J decided to try it each morning. Xavier got a Lego alarm clock for Christmas, and we set the alarm for 6:15. J sets his for the same time, and each morning, they quietly walk downstairs together, have breakfast, get things ready for school, then Xavier goes off to play quietly.

And every morning, EVERY morning, it has been...peaceful. It's odd and wondrous at the same time. At one point you want to smack yourself upside the head and wonder why you didn't think of trying this before? Could it truly be that if we had tried this years ago, we would have had a more peaceful morning?

Not only are the mornings great, but because he gets his booster early in the morning, Xavier can take his real medication a little later in the morning, which allows it to last longer through the day. Which means that he can focus better on his homework, and he is calmer, and more able to socialize with the family without anyone going crazy!!! It's a freaking miracle!!! I finally have this kid, whom I adore but could never really have a conversation with him without him being silly or losing focus, BUT NOW I CAN!!!! I can sit with him, and we can talk, and we can listen, and we can joke together, and it's not hard!!! It's amazing! And I can see it in him too, that he is loving this new found ability to really join in on family stuff without losing his ability to control his impulses. He can play with his brothers without ticking them off. He's become this big hero to Soren, who now follows him around like a puppy. Soren will do anything to make his big brother laugh. And where once Ashe and Xavier were always playing a metaphorical tug-o-war, the bickering is so much less and they are really beginning to create a bond of friendship.

Xavier has always had a hard road to walk. Even with parents who would do anything for him, and friends, it's tough having to deal with stuff like this, things you would not wish on anyone. And the sad aspect is that most likely, he will always have to deal with ADHD and how it will affect his life. It will affect everything: work, home, social, love.... Things we take for granted on a daily basis are a hundred times more difficult for him, even with medication and a lot of support.

BUT... I gaze in wonder at my oldest son lately, my husband the genius who put two and two together, and my happy family, where the quarrels are almost nonexistent now ( ok well, lets say normal for a family of five...) and I am filled with such gratitude and hope. Hope that no matter what we go through, we go through it together, and as a team, there may always be new things to find to help our son on this path called life.

For more amusing anecdotes from SRM, check out her blog at http://suburbanrebelmom.blogspot.com/ or follow her on Facebook

Sorenese

2012-02-18 09:00:00

Soren is now two and a half and still can't talk. Strike that, he won't talk, at least not in English. He does talk non stop, and he's quite understandable if you speak HIS language. He has an amazing language all his own, which family and friends alike have dubbed Sorenese. Most people who don't know Soren very well believe the he must have some issues, some impairment the does not allow him to use the English vocabulary. Those who do know him well laugh their butt off at this suggestion, knowing very well that he could if he wanted to. The key phrase here is if he wanted to. And he has made it abundantly clear that he does not. Despite concentrated efforts in trying to get him to use real words like cat or dog, he uses equally concerted efforts to teach everyone else the Sorenese version of these words.

Our Pediatrician suggested that we have CDSA come out and evaluate him, just in case there was something going on. Having had a child who needed speech therapy, (Ashe, for Apraxia) comparing the two kids I honestly didn't think Soren had an issue. I think it was just my genetic stubborn trait shining through. But after discussing with J a time table in which Soren learned to talk, and passing that time table with no results in English, we decided to call them and see what they said.

As fate always decrees, the moment you make a call like that, things start to ramp up. I had recently gotten Soren potty trained using M&M'ss as a reward. He was fully trained in two weeks. One day I got the idea to see if his favorite candy would also prevail in getting him to talk. If I was right, and he was just being stubborn, it should be easy. If he couldn't learn new words with the carrot on a stick attempt, then I knew we had a problem, and calling CDSA was the right decision.

Yeah. In one week I got him to spell SUPER MARIO, say I love you, please, and thank you. BLESS you M&M's! ( I now keep a giant stash on hand in case the boys need a good ~~bribe~~ reward).

CDSA still came over and they brought a speech pathologist to test him. In order to be considered for the program he had to fail certain tests. He didn't. In fact, he aced them with flying colors. The only issue was verbal expression and even that did not score low enough. The speech pathologist did mention that it was very uncommon for non twin children to develop their own language, and he was convinced that Soren was unique in this aspect. I told him about my M&M trick and he felt that while he could do well with speech therapy, M&M's would work well too.

It was nice to know we're not dooming our child, and that he really can talk if he wanted to, but chooses to have his own enriched language. I also know that when he starts to really talk, there will be plenty of times I will wish he would just hush up for a bit. So I'm not going to push his language. I'll offer him treats once in awhile, but I'm pretty sure that by the time he hits kindergarten this will all be forgotten.

Either that or he will start teaching his classmates and teacher a new language. And that's not all that bad, to be considered bilingual at age 5 ;)

For more amusing anecdotes from SRM, check out her blog at http://suburbanrebelmom.blogspot.com/ or follow her on Facebook

Grossed Out

2012-02-16 09:00:00

I have three boys. And when you have three boys it takes a lot to gross you out. Puke? No problem. Poop smears? Small potatoes. Green boogers dripping out of noses? Bring it. Watching your kids lick the boogers off their faces... ok I admit that one makes me shudder.

But I just recently encountered one thing that still makes me cringe when I mentally replay the scenario and how I almost lost my tough mom pin.

Soren has reached the independence stage in his life. He must do everything on his own with no help. He doesn't care if we have plans to meet friends at the park and it takes him 45 minutes to take off his shirt for a new one. Dammit he will make you wait while he does it himself, thankyouverymuch. And often times I just hang out on the sidelines, allowing him to earn pride when he does something on his own.

Today he decided that he and he alone would be responsible for wiping up after going potty. I insisted that while he could try, I was putting down my foot and would wipe last just in case. He considered this for a moment and nodded. Post poop, he grabbed a wipe and did a very good job in cleaning himself up. Didn't gross me out. But then he did the most unthinkable thing ever..... he started bringing that nasty wipe up towards his face to wipe his nose.

At that moment time slowed down to a crawl and I lunged toward him, WATCHING that wipe rise higher and higher. I heard this loud NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO that sounded oddly like Darth Vader. In the back of my mind I realized it must be me denying the vision I was seeing in front of me.

My hand darted out slowly, oh so freaking slow and I reached, REACHED to grab that offending wipe before it could connect to my sons face. He glanced up startled, and that one moment of pause brought time speeding up to normal and I grabbed the wipe and tossed it in the toilet!

We both stood there staring at one another for a moment, he perplexed, I panting while trying to hold the contents of my stomach in. Then he tilted his head to the side considering what had just happened,shrugged andturned to get a clean wipe for his nose.

Ewww! Just... EWWW!!!

For more amusing anecdotes from SRM, check out her blog at http://suburbanrebelmom.blogspot.com/ or follow her on Facebook

Glasses for One

2012-02-14 09:00:00

Both J and I are blind as a bat. We need either contacts or glasses to see clearly on a daily basis. So we knew the chances that one or all three of our children would need glasses at some point in their life was inevitable. What we did not expect was that one of our children would need them now

Ashe has always been clumsy. He falls down so often that we call his accidents Asheidents. It's a common term in our household. However we always assumed that he had gained his clumsiness from his father, who also has a bad sense of balance.

When I ask him to find things Ashe always has a hard time. He could be looking right at the object in question and still not see it. However I also have a tendency to do this. Even with my contacts I tend to not be able to see things right under my nose. J constantly mocks me for this. So I always put Ashes inability to see things as part of my genetic traits.

He has had both of these issues ever since I can remember. It was such a common thing that I never gave it much notice. But then Ashe had his 5 year check up to get ready for kindergarten and we realized that there was an issue when Ashe failed his vision test.

His left eye seemed to see clearly but his right eye failed miserably. The pediatricians office used one of those giant posters that has lots of different shapes and numbers on it. The top picture was of a giant ship. Standing 30 feet away Ashe could not tell me what it was. Despite multiple tries he could not figure it out. Our pediatrician referred us immediately to a pediatric eye specialist. I made the call that day and within three days we were at the office.

Since this with Ashes first time at the eye doctors he had to have is eyes dilated. Getting your eyes dilated as an adult sucks. Having to watch your 5 year old get his eyes dilated for the first time sucks times 10. The assistants were fantastic and helped as I held on to Ashe while they placed drops in his eyes. After we finished with the eye drops we had 30 minutes to wait for them to kick in. Ashe and I decided to go to the craft store next door look around and grab some snacks.

After the examination was complete we realized how bad Ashes eye really was. Perfect eyesight is 20/20. Ash is right eye was 20/150. His right eye is worse than my eyes and J's eyes. Glasses were a must. Fortunately Ashe thinks that glasses rocks since his dad wears them and insisted on finding a pair just like J's. In fact as we searched the racks for the perfect pair of glasses Ashe decided on a pair that was the same color as his dads. The only difference is that Ashes glasses are Sponge Bob Square Pants. Unfortunately they did not make Sponge Bob Aquare Pants glasses for adults.

So in a week or two Ashe will start wearing glasses everyday. He was pretty miffed that he couldn't walk out of the eye doctor store with his brand new glasses. He's been bouncing around in excited anticipation ever since. While I feel bad that one of my children has to wear glasses at such an early age I have to say I'm both proud and happy that he is so excited for this. And maybe I'm being biased since I am his mom but dang did he look cute in them. He reminded me of a human Theodore chipmunk. I'll post photos of him once the glasses come in. Knowing how much of a ham he is I'm sure he'll love posing for that.

***Update***

I promised an update once we got Ashe his new glasses, so here it is. Ashe has now had his glasses for a week and he is in loooooooooove with them. I posted a photo on FB while we were at the Eye Doctor, picking them up. To all of you who left a comment, THANK YOU! he got the biggest kick out of all of your praise, and I don't doubt that it helped cement his love for his new look.

So without further ado, here is Master Ashe with his new Sponge Bob Squarepants glasses:

We did have to go get them adjusted a little bit this past Monday. Unfortunately they kept sliding down his nose. But within ten minutes they were able to adjust them accordingly and they fit him perfectly. So far this week, there have been no Asheidents to report.

For more amusing anecdotes from SRM, check out her blog at http://suburbanrebelmom.blogspot.com/ or follow her on Facebook.

Wine Bottle Battle of 2012

2012-02-11 09:00:00

I love me a glass of wine. Or three. I'm a huge red wine fan and if you come to my house you'll normally see about 4 bottles of red hanging out on my kitchen counter, waiting to be delved into and appreciated once the kids go to bed.

My friend K knows this, and sweetheart that she is, she bought J and I a bottle of red for the holidays. The other night I decided to pop it open after a long day and relax with a glass of red and a good book. I grabbed our trusty cork screw, which had uncorked countless bottles over the years, and started the process.

I didn't know it at the time, but the cork was not actual cork. It was some kind of weird rubber material. And it beat up my cork screw. When I say beat up, what I really mean to say is that it dragged my poor tool into a dark alley corner and beat the snot out of it until it was in 4 pieces. Literally

The first handle snapped off when I tried, and it resulted in me bashing my knuckles hard on the counter. J came over to make sure I was alright, then took over. I told him I didn't need wine *that* badly. I could always grab some brandy or Vodka, but he wouldn't hear of it. "I will get this wine for you!" he declared, and went to battle.

And a battle it was, of epic proportions.

The second handle snapped when he made his first attempt. Then the screw itself snapped off when he tried to pull it out. That's when he pulled out the full armory: knives of assorted shapes and sizes, screw drivers, meat thermometer (ok that one was my idea), and the tool box. I jokingly asked if he wanted to try the electric drill. Deadpan, he told me he had already thought of it.

The situation was just so funny, I started posting regular updates on FB, along with snapshots of the battle. Towards the end, I had to record the final moments, and post it on youtube to share, because it was just so dang funny (and horribly romantic) to see the lengths J would go to so I could have a glass of wine. This people, is true love. Skip flowers and jewels. When your husband pulls out the tool box in order to ensure his wife has alcohol, you know you found your soul mate.

Here is the video:

Three bent knives, one broken thermometer, a sliced knuckle, and 30 minutes later, J finally won as the cork gave up from the brutal torture it endured. After tending to wounds, burying the casualties (I had to trash my meat thermometer and knives), and cleaning up the battlefield, J and I sat down with two giant glasses of red, and celebrated the victory with a toast. While it didn't turn out to be the relaxing evening of wine and book that I had originally envisioned, it was a fantastic night of humor, to see how far one would go for love.... and alcohol ;)

For more amusing anecdotes from SRM, check out her blog at http://suburbanrebelmom.blogspot.com/ or follow her on Facebook

PSA: Sick Non Parental Units

2012-02-07 09:00:00

This PSA goes out to all of you non Parental units:

In general, being sick sucks. Your nose is stuffy, you get headaches, aches and pains. All you want to do is lie in your bed wishing the day would just go away. If it's bad enough you even call in sick to work.

BUT... When you become a parental unit there is NO SUCH THING as calling in sick. Ever. There is no ability to go hide yourself under the covers and just wait for the day to go by. Nope, instead you gotta crawl out of those covers, get dressed, make breakfast for the kids, make sure the homework is in the folder, get in the car, drive to school, come home, and take care of the other kids who are not school age.

I reiterate there is no such thing as a day off when your parent.

I was fortunate enough to get sick when my kids were at the grand parents for the weekend. And you know what? It was freaking heaven! No joke. I just had the best sick day I've ever had since my 9 year old boy was born. I lavished in the ability to crawl back under the covers when I wanted to. I could sit on the couch in my pj's all day long and watch tv while I sipped my tea. I could nap whenever I wanted to without having to worry about the house being destroyed. I had no kids clamoring for attention, no one whining for a snack. No fight to break up, no clashes to referee. It was just me, my drugs, my pj's, and my tea.

I have decided that all of you non parental units are absolutely never ever ever allowed to whine complain when you're sick. You have no idea how easy you have it. I wish I could send my kids to my mom's house whenever I'm sick but that's not an option. This time was a fluke. And it was wonderful.

But if I ever hear any of you non parental units whining when you're sick, even if I love you, just understand I'm going to pull out the tiniest violin. Because seriously you have no idea how good you've got it. Embrace your sick days, and raise your teacup in honor of us who don't get a chance to crawl back under the covers.

For more amusing anecdotes from SRM, check out her blog at http://suburbanrebelmom.blogspot.com/ or follow her on FB

Domesticating SRM Round 1: Cookies

2012-02-03 09:00:00

Growing up I never learned the every day stuff of keeping house. My mom didn't cook, didn't bake, etc. I grew up on McDonald's drive thru and thinking that steak had to be cooked to almost burnt before it was done. I wasn't taught laundry skills. To this day I still shove loads of clothes into my washer willy nilly, slap a bunch of detergent in there, and sit on the lid to make sure it stays down. I never had home ec class, to teach me how to sew, or balance checkbooks, or anything life skill-esque. And I NEVER learned how to bake cookies. Cookies from scratch in my language means grabbing the precut Tollhouse Cookie dough, warming up the oven and tossing it in.

My friend S, on the other hand, is what I would call a domestic goddess. When I go over to her house, she is constantly puttering around in her kitchen making goodies from scratch. I fell in love with her all over again the day she made me home made strawberry scones. Usually I go to her house since her idea of clean is not mine. She likes to iron her curtains. I don't have curtains to begin with. I used to tell her she wasn't allowed over my house, but I've rescinded that decree as I love to watch her eyes gaze around my living area, and see what project she will offer to do for me. I haven't taken her up on any of them, but I love hearing what she will come up with next.

In the next few days I will be retiring from a volunteer management position at a moms support group. I've been managing promotions there for two years and it eats away at a lot of my free time. Knowing that I am nearing the end, I got this crazy idea that I need to learn something new. And thinking of S I decided I wanted her to teach me how to bake from scratch. I don't know what drugs I was on when I came up with this crazy idea. But there has always been a part of me that has wanted to learn domestic stuff that many people take for granted. So many of the moms in this area bake cookies. I wanted to bake cookies too dangit! So I asked her and our mutual friend, S* (another cookie baker) to come over and let our kids destroy the house while they taught me how to bake.

I thought it would be a simple thing. You get flour, you get sugar, salt, butter, etc. Scoop the ingredients, mix them together, toss in the oven and voila! 30 minutes later home made cookies.

Holy hell was I totally off base!

S brought over her Ipad with a "Simple" sugar cookie recipe. She thinks simple. I think you need a degree in rocket science in order to understand it! But they were the teachers, I the student, and so we started off.

The first thing I apparently did wrong was that I didn't read through the recipe ALL THE WAY before starting to get out the ingredients. S* asked if, when I put something together, like a book case, don't I read through the instructions first then go to square one? I said hell no! J usually puts those together, and when we do it as a team, we go step by step. I found out that was the wrong answer.

After reading the recipe ALL THE WAY through (and reading it aloud so they both knew I had, and to lovingly tick them off) I made my next mistake. When I went to get the flour, I scooped into the flour bag with my measuring cup. I kid you not, S* had a look of complete horror on her face and S had to walk away from the kitchen. I noticed her consumption of coffee started ticking up by that point. She did refuse a shot of vodka to calm her nerves, but I think it was a near thing.

I learned you need to FLUFF flour, when you measure it. Not like you fluff a pillow (as I mentally thought of beating the flour bag as I do my pillow at night). No, you have to scoop little spoonfuls and shake it into the measuring cup. Because if you don't FLUFF your flour your cookies will taste like poo.

I learned you don't FLUFF your sugar or salt, but you do MASH your butter. Oh and I got reamed out for not having unsalted butter. We don't use real butter most of the time. We use margarine. I thought my two friends were going to die right there and then when they realized I didn't own any REAL butter. I mentally made sure I knew where my cell phone was in case I had to call 911 for a heart attack.

Then I learned I need to buy parchment paper. Because parchment paper ensures that whatever it is you're cooking wont stick to the pan. Between you and me, I don't even know what the heck parchment paper is. I toyed with the idea of asking if they wanted to use college lined paper instead of the tinfoil I had, but I was scared that by this time in my lessons, S was going to come after me with the new rolling pin I bought, if I made anymore sarcastic comments.

The cookies came out decent, if I say so myself. They're edible. They didn't poison anyone. And the kids asked for seconds. I did notice that neither S nor S* tried one. Hmmmm.

Next week we're going to make Turtle cookies, yay!!!!

For more amusing anecdotes from SRM, check out her blog at http://suburbanrebelmom.blogspot.com/ or follow her on FB

Triangle weekend offers free family fun events

2012-02-02 10:56:00

This weekend, you'll find a range of free family fun around the Triangle, starting with First Friday events during Raleigh's monthly arts celebration. Grab the kids and head to a parade in Durham featuring floats and bands in honor of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Two Raleigh parks are hosting special celebrations, where kids will enjoy games and activities for kids. Bookshops are hosting free events for children.

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Wake Forest Mom Wins IKEA Contest to Improve the Life of Others

2012-02-01 13:44:44

What would you do if you won $100,000? Wake Forest mom Melissa Matthews was cooking dinner Jan. 2 when she got a call telling her that she had just won a year-long sabbatical worth $100,000 in an IKEA contest designed to improve the life of others.

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Crafting with SRM... You Can Stop Laughing Now

2012-01-31 12:53:33

A while ago, after being cooped up indoors and bored out of my mind, and after listening to Ashe whine about how little energy he had, I decided to do something stupid: I decided to try a craft with the kids.

Why is it stupid? For two reasons: Number one it doesn’t matter how frikking cool the craft is or how excited the kids are, somewhere between the suggestion of crafts to a finished product, the kids lose interest, leaving me alone to finish the damn thing. It’s usually right after I hear CA-CHING of the cash register after I have handed over my debit card. It’s like they have this internal radar that lets them know Mommy spent $40 so let’s ditch her and commandeer the Wii remote yeah!!!!

Number two, I suck at crafts. No really. I have these great IDEAS for crafts and I get into crafty moods. I’m a creative person. But for the most part when it comes to ideas on kids crafts I fail epically.

So with that out on the table, as I listened to Ashe whine more and more, I scrambled for a craft idea that would keep us all entertained and was something unoriginal because it was 10:30 in the morning and originality is NOT going to happen with only one cup of coffee in my system. Somehow my very tired, overworked brain decided to hook onto a project I did in school when I was little. I couldn’t think of anything else. It was making a stuffed dinosaur. I figured, hey my boys like dinosaurs, I have a furry boy, it will take all day…. Let’s do it!

If I EVER mention to you I am thinking of crafts before 11:30 in the morning, smack me upside the head and I’ll be grateful.

We head to the fabric store, pick out cheap soft fabric (purple for Ashe, blue for Soren), find a glue gun, and head home.

The boys are hungry. I get them lunch. They want to stuff the stuffed animals NOW! I explain I still have to find a pattern, outline it, cut it out and glue/sew it shut. Not good enough for them so they go and start opening the fluff I bought and throw it around the kitchen while I’m downstairs frantically searching for T Rex patterns (Ashe insisted on T Rex instead of the Brontosaurus I know how to do). I come upstairs with a print in hand to find my kitchen snowy white.

After cleaning up the mess I sit down to stencil out the pattern while Ashe continually asks when he can stuff his T Rex. Giving up with an eye roll he leaves the table to go play Wii while I start cutting out the pattern. Soren tries to help me with the glue gun so I accidentally glue a leg shut and the fabric to the table as I try desperately to keep the VERY hot instrument out of his reach.

Finally we’re ready to stuff T Rex One. Ashe and Soren come over and start shoving fluff up the dinosaur’s ummm... tail and then, like clockwork, they get bored and wander off. I’m left alone to anally probe the fabric blob in my hand. Once he’s stuff to the gills I glue him shut and look at him and realize….

OH NO NO NO!!!! I INADVERTENTLY MADE BARNEY THE DINOSAUR MY NEMESIS!!!!!

Crapcrapcrapcrap! Sigh. On to #2

THIS time I decided not to screw with a potentially ER-inducing implement like a glue gun and go old skool with thread and needle. While I start from scratch, Ashe is cuddling with his new stuffed animal and wants to know why I made him blind, mute and with no nose? Can I add those on? I explain I will after I get Soren's stuffed since Ashe was being beaten by Soren trying to take his dinosaur away and roaring in his face. Sewing worked better despite the fact it took a little longer. I can’t even remember the last time I sewed (and I don’t have a sewing machine so it was all manual labor). By the time I was done sewing, stuffing, and sewing Soren’s dinosaur I was racing against the clock to get Zavi from school. Fortunately I finished in time to sew on an eye, nose, and smiley face to Barney in order to stop the whining about a malformed stuffed animal.

Never again, I said. Next time the kids want to do a frikkin craft I am going to give them markers, a wet washcloth and their tummies and tell them to draw faces on their chests or something. But no more glue guns, no more needles, no more Barneys. Nope, I’m through, I said to myself as I picked up Xavier. Until he saw the dinosaurs and with puppy eyes asked if I would be kind enough to make him a Pokémon stuffed animal this week since he missed out.

I said yes. *Grumble Grumble*

For more amusing anecdotes from SRM, check out her blog at http://suburbanrebelmom.blogspot.com/ or follow her on Facebook

Blue Jay Point County Park hosts free nature fun Feb. 4

2012-01-31 11:46:34

Looking for some outdoor fun with the kids this weekend? Blue Jay Point County Park, in Raleigh, is celebrating its 20th anniversary with a Winter Open House event that features free activities, hot cocoa and cake from 1-4 p.m., Saturday, Feb. 4.

Take part in "The Amazing Place"—an all-weather adventure similar to "The Amazing Race"—where you follow clues to learn about the 236-acre park. Catch the Blue Jay Express train from the education center to the lodge and let the kids enjoy a slew of fun nature-themed activities.

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A Dickens of a celebration — and giveaway!

2012-01-30 13:35:23

The February issue of Carolina Parent magazine features books by local children’s authors. (You’ll find the list of titles and authors we reviewed at the end of this post.) But there’s one not-so-local author we’d also like to spotlight this month.

Feb. 7 marks Charles Dickens’ 200th birthday. In honor of the occasion, Random House Children’s Books published A Boy Called Dickens by Deborah Hopkinson ($17.99, hardcover). Although fiction, the book is based on events Dickens experienced as a child, including 10-hour work days in a rat-infested factory to earn money for his debt-laden family. This beautifully illustrated book shows that Dickens based many of the characters in his books on people from his childhood. Enter a random drawing to win this book, as well as nine other books written by local authors, by commenting on your favorite Charles Dickens’ tale below.

A company called Bookadoo enables parents to create personalized stories — from fairytale fables to superhero sagas — for and about your child. Bookadoo superimposes your child’s photo on the cover and a story unfolds about his adventure. ($29.95)

The Little Red Hen app, second in a growing line of Little Golden Books apps, is now available for the iPhone, iPad and iPod Touch in the iTunes store from Random House Children’s Books ($3.99)

Penguin Group (USA) has launched Wreck This App for Android, an interactive adaptation of Keri Smith’s bestselling book Wreck This Journal, which is an interactive journal that encourages creativity through destruction — from painting and scribbling to dripping and tearing. ($4.99)

Givit has launched a new video sharing site ideal for parents because it keeps videos 100-percent private among only the people one wishes to see them.

Zonar, provider of electronic fleet inspection, tracking and operations technology, has designed a new ZPass+ that provides parents instant notifications when their child boards and exits a school bus. Students are given a unique Zpass+ RFID identification card, and as they pass the ZPass reader upon boarding and exiting the bus, the time, date and student’s location are transmitted to a secure database using HD-GPS technology. This provides administrators with a clear view of the bus’ path, each stop and start — even when and where the door was opened. ZPass+ provides specific student rider information to parents through a password protected website. After setting up an account, parents can create notification preferences by cell phone text message and email.

Two new studies from the University of New Hampshire Crimes against Children Research Center suggest that concerns about teen sexting may be overblown. One study found that the percentage of youth who send pictures of themselves that would qualify as child pornography is around 2.5 percent. The other found that when police are made aware of teen sexting images, there was an arrest in 36 percent of the cases of “aggravating” activities by youth, such as using images to blackmail or harass other youths. The arrest rate in cases not involving aggravating activities as 18 percent. In both studies, researchers found that sexual images of youth were rarely widely distributed online as many parents, youth, and law enforcement fear.

This month’s giveaway

First of all, congratulations to LeeAnn Prescott of Durham, winner of our January giveaway!

For this month's giveaway, comment below on what your favorite Charles Dickens’ story is and why you love it to be entered into a random drawing for the list of books below by local authors, as well as A Boy Called Dickens by Deborah Hopkinson (Random House Children’s Books, $17.99), a NintendoDS “I Spy Castle” game ($19.99) and The Tuneables’ Parents’ Choice Gold Award-winning DVD 2-disk set, I Love Music! ($29.99).

Books features in Carolina Parent’s February Book Nook and Bulletin Board sections:
The Handkerchief Quilt by Carol Crane of Holly Springs (Sleeping Bear Press, $15.95)
Zero the Hero by Joan Holub of Raleigh (Christy Ottaviano Books, $16.99)
How to Milk a Dinocow by Ian Sands of Apex
Celeste’s Harlem Renaissance by Eleanora E. Tate of Raleigh
The White City, book three of The Clockwork Dark series by John Claude Bemis of Hillsborough (Random House, $17.99)
The Mahogany Door by J. Mark Boliek of Durham (Split Rail Books, $27.99; also includes the soundtrack CD)
Ellen's Broom by Kelly Starling Lyons
Staying Crazy to Keep From Going Insane by Cris Cohen of Cary (Tyrannosaurus Max Press, $12)
Life is a Choice: A Guide to Success in Life by David Washington of Raleigh (Washington and Company, $14.99)

We’re also including Holub’s Goddess Girls’ collection, which includes the following titles:
Goddess Girls: Athena the Brain
Goddess Girls: Persephone the Phony
Goddess Girls: Aphrodite the Diva
Goddess Girls: Artemis the Loyal
Goddess Girls: Artemis the Brave

This blog is written by Beth Shugg, associate editor at Carolina Parent magazine and mom to two boys and one girl who keep her on the go. She loves to read and play with iPhone apps in her spare time, and will share "Books, Bytes and Bits" of information with you each month in her blog posts that expand on what we cover in our magazine.

Disclosure: Carolina Parent received the products mentioned above for free as samples for possible review. As a blogger for Carolina Parent, I have no material connection to the brands, products or services I have mentioned and only include products or services I believe are worth consideration. Contest winners must be able to pick up the prizes at our office in Durham.

Movie Choices for Kids - One for the Money, Man on a Ledge

2012-01-30 10:57:37

ONE FOR THE MONEY (Running time: approx. 106 minutes)
Rated PG-13 Starring Katherine Heigl, Jason O’Mara
This film is taken from a Janet Evanovich book I have not read. Therefore, I cannot give you a fair comparison between the book and the movie. But I can tell you this is a very entertaining movie. Except for the fact she’s beautiful, Stephanie Plum (Heigl) is a character you can relate to. Everything does not go well for her. She’s fired from her job, loses her car and has a loving but overbearing family. Throw in a crazy grandmother and the cast of characters is complete.
Stephanie begs a job as a bounty hunter from her cousin and turns her nose up at the small jobs that pay less when she gets a whiff of big money. The best case involves an old sweetheart of hers. Bringing him in would give her a big payoff but it’s not going to be an easy job.
Stephanie goes on the trail of her old flame, Joe Morelli (Jason O’Hara), and the fun begins. This is where the movie plot kicks into high gear. Now we have an intriguing whodunit with new characters, humor and sizzling chemistry between Stephanie and Joe. There is violence, some blood, some partial nudity, some bad language, including the “f” word once that I recall. Lots of sexual innuendo and some veiled sexual conversations but no sex scenes. This is a lively, suspenseful, funny flick most appropriate for kid 13 and up. I enjoyed it and now I must read the book.
MAN ON A LEDGE (Running time: approx. 89 minutes)
Rated PG-13 Starring Sam Worthington, Elizabeth Banks
I was not expecting much after seeing the television commercials touting this film. I went reluctantly and was pleasantly surprised. Nick Cassidy (Worthington) a former cop is taken to prison for a crime he didn’t commit. While he’s there, his father dies. At the funeral, he manages to escape and end up on the ledge of a tall hotel in midtown Manhattan.
The beginning of the movie was fast-paced, keeping me wide awake and paying close attention. I did get dizzy several times when they showed things from his point-of-view as I have a problem with heights. But that simply added to the thrill of the movie.
While he’s on the ledge other things are happening. I can’t go into detail on those without spoiling the plot. Nick asks for a special policewoman/psychologist, Lydia (Banks), to talk him down. While she’s trying to save him we get to know her a bit better and other members of the police force are fleshed out, too. The excellent cast of supporting characters rounds out this exciting film that has enough plot twists to keep everyone guessing. I was riveted to the screen, not wanting to miss any curve ball this movie threw. Don’t leave early because you’ll miss one of the biggest surprises of all. Enough said.
There is some violence, some bad language but no sex. It is a fun film to see with your kids ages 12 and up. I enjoyed it.

Museum to host family fun Groundhog Day celebration Feb. 2

2012-01-29 20:49:09

Will there be 6 weeks more of winter or will spring come early this year? Sir Walter Wally, Raleigh's own distinguished groundhog, will make his prediction at the 15th annual Groundhog Day celebration, a free fun family event at the North Carolina Museum of Natural Sciences from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m., Thursday, Feb. 2.

If you've never taken your kids to this special event, you're in for treat. Each year, kids, moms and dads gather on Bicentennial plaza in front of the museum in downtown Raleigh at noon on Groundhog Day to find out if Sir Walter Wally will see his shadow.

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Weekend Family Fun: Festivals, Nature Programs, Free Shows

2012-01-26 20:48:03

This weekend, family-friendly festivals invite Triangle families to celebrate the Chinese New Year and explore African-American contributions to North Carolina through food, song and dance. Kids can catch free performances or head outdoors for nature programs that take a look at a range of creatures from possums to salamanders and coyotes.

If you're thinking of a winter getaway close to home, see our newest resources for where to where to ski, snowboard and tube within a short drive of the Triangle.

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Wake County elementary schools plan kindergarten registration events

2012-01-25 11:56:16

Got a child going into kindergarten in Wake County? Many Wake County elementary schools are hosting special events on Thursday, Feb. 2, for parents to register and enroll their child for kindergarten for the 2012-13 school year as well as tour the schools.

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Win a Sensational Soups Cookbook

2012-01-23 12:23:25

In my home, fall and winter are soup season. My husband loves to make soup, and he, my kids and I enjoying eating it. It’s warming when it’s dark and cold early in the evening and delicious with a loaf of crusty bread. Soup is also healthy, economical and convenient. During the week, we find it easy to take a pot of soup out of the fridge and warm it up after a long day at work. Add some alphabet pasta to a Minestrone soup, and kids enjoy a full day’s serving of veggies without complaint as they try to spell out their names. When you make your own soup, you’re also in control of the ingredients, which often means you’re eating less salt and preservatives. And double the proportion of soup, and you can make two meals of it without much extra work.

If you’re a soup lover, like me, share a comment in this blog about your favorite soup, and you could win 300 Sensational Soups by Carla Snyder and Meredith Deeds. This cookbook, by publisher Robert Rose, covers winter recipes, like creamy chicken and rice soup, as well as soups that are welcome in the summer, like gazpacho. If your palate leans toward the exotic, try any of the cookbook’s 50 international soups, including Vietnamese pho, Italian wedding soup and Middle Eastern harira.

Each recipe also includes tips and techniques along with garnishing ideas. Never having had a soup for dessert, I’m intrigued by the Just (Soup) Desserts chapter, which features 20 dessert soups, including coconut soup with mango fritters and chocolate soup with brownie croutons. Any new ways to eat dessert always appeal to me!

So share a comment with us about your family’s favorite soup or tell us a soup memory. I’ll start with one of my own: In my family, we’ve been eating “green soup” for years. That was my made-up name for the pureed creamy soup I got my kids to eat it by not revealing that the “green” was actually spinach. When they were young, my kids had an irrational fear of “little green things” in their food, but when I pureed the spinach and potatoes they had no problem with it. When they reached the age of reason, somewhere around age 9, I told each of them the spinach truth, and they continue to enjoy the soup without fear.

Movie Choices for Kids - Red Tails, Snow Day

2012-01-23 10:32:55

RED TAILS (Running time: approx. 125 minutes)
Rated PG-13 Starring Terrence Howard, Cuba Gooding, Jr., Nate Parker, Elijah Kelley, Tristan Wilds
This film was inspired by the true stories of the Tuskegee airmen from World War II. This group of pilots made up of all African American men was segregated and treated like second class citizens. However, they fooled the naysayers and came through heroically.
The movie opens in 1944 in Italy where we get to know some pilots, identified by their nicknames: “Easy” (Parker) is in charge in the air, “Joker” (Kelley) is the rule-breaking risk-taking ace pilot and “Junior” (Wilds) is the serious flyer. These men are trained, accomplished pilots who have been relegated to less dangerous mission, like destroying supply trucks and trains, though those missions were quite risky, too.
But the men wanted to get into the thick of the war and their commanding officer pushed his prejudiced superiors to give them a chance. They finally get their break as escorts for bomber planes, a high-risk assignment and they handle it with flying colors.
Along the way we get to know these airmen, their strengths and weaknesses. We see up close what it was like for them to sit and wait for the war. The scenes in the beginning of the movie when they take out a supply truck and a plane are thrilling. You feel like you are right up in the planes with them.
After a successful mission escorting the bombers, thing began to change a bit for them. They were welcomed into the officer’s club and considered for an even more important mission. I don’t want to spoil the rest of the movie, so I will stop here.
Although much of the movie has been dramatized, the basic events are true. This peek into a different chapter of WWII is fascinating, beautifully written and filmed as well. The aerial scenes are reminiscent of the old WWII films of the forties but seem more real. Red Tails can bring a bit of history to your children they might not get in school. There was violence, blood and many explosions, a little bad language plus racial slurs - no sex but implied sex in one scene and some kidding about it in others.
I loved this move and seeing Red Tails is a great way to share some history with your kids ages 10 and up. Don’t miss this one.
Due to the dearth of movies rated PG-13 and below, here’s my favorites snow day movie for kids.
SNOW DAY (Running time: approx. 89 minutes)
Rated PG Starring Chris Elliott, Jean Smart, Chevy Chase
This delightful comedy highlights a family’s activities on a day when school is called for snow. While the oldest, a boy, tries to get closer to the girl of his dreams, his sister plots to keep “Snowplow Man” from plowing the streets thus stretching one snow day into two. Mom tries to work at home while her toddler has other plans for her and Dad, a TV weatherman on a local station, competes with another weatherman for ratings.
This delightful, cute film is fine for children of all ages and adults, too. From young love to a snowball fight with mom, Snow Day is a charming movie perfect for your own snow days with your children.

Free offers let parents schedule in "me" time

2012-01-23 09:52:03

If the January doldrums are settling in, you might be thinking of ways to schedule in some "you" time. For me, finding time to exercise or to do something just for myself—say browsing gardening shops in the dead of winter—always lifts my spirits. This week, I've found two Triangle venues are making it easy for you to tune in to your own needs with free offers.

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Triangle weekend family fun: Nature hikes, shows, art mart

2012-01-19 20:37:19

Wondering what's on tap for weekend family fun? You'll find a range of events, from nature hikes to a game night at a local museum and third Friday fun. Catch live performances by kids or for kids.

Or see two exhibits: "Genghis Khan: The Exhibition" and "Race: Are We So Different," before they head out of town. Another interesting exhibit is At the Speed of a Girl – Celebrating 100 Years of Girl Scouting. If you'd like to play indoors, check out Marbles Kids Museum Power2Play Exhibit idesigned to promote fun and fitness for the whole family.

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Kids enjoy Valentine-themed events in February

2012-01-18 09:28:50

With Valentine's Day approaching rapidly, Triangle venues are planning lots of creative ways to celebrate love with Valentine-themed events for kids throughout February.

Dress to impress and join a Valentine's Day party featuring healthy treats, proper Victorian etiquette and Valentine crafts in Raleigh. Head to the Contemporary Art Museum in Raleigh to tour Valentine-inspired projects. In Cary or Durham, take in a Valentine story time or craft with your kids. Or show your love for birds; in Chapel Hill and Apex, kids will be making treats for their feathered friends. If your kids are into bugs, visit Raleigh to hear a story about bugs and make a take home buggy craft.

The Early Years

2012-01-17 20:44:05

Since another Valentine’s Day is here, I find myself looking back on the early years of my relationship and marriage with my husband, Kevin. We met through a Valentine’s Day video promotion on the local PM Magazine show on WRAL back in 1985. I made a video personal that aired, and Kevin was one of the ones who answered it, and the rest is matrimonial history. But what were the early years of our lives like together? Were there signs of what was to come? How could I have known that we’d spend so many of our ‘vacations’ in our camper with a chemical toilet? Did I ever once ask him during our dating years, “Do you think there is even the remote possibility of your buying a travel trailer in the future?” Did I ask him, “Will you agree to set our thermostat above 65 in the winter and below 85 in the summer?” These were crucial questions that went unasked.

There were some tell-tale signs of what was to come with my frugal boyfriend. Even back then he was known for trying to save money by not turning on the air conditioner in his apartment in the midst of humid North Carolina summers. I was working in radio at the time, and one of the station’s salespeople named Dave lived in Kevin’s apartment complex. One summer afternoon, Dave decided to drop by to say hi to Kevin at his apartment. The next day, Dave was taking up a collection at the radio station, passing around a hat. “What’s that for?” I heard someone ask.

“It’s for Sharon’s boyfriend so he’ll turn on his air conditioning,” explained Dave. “I went by to see him yesterday, and his apartment was so hot I was sweating like a pig.”

Early in our marriage, I learned quite a bit about Kevin’s obsession with saving money, but we were not yet at the point of fighting about it. That came with time. At first, I had the patience to endure some of the extreme things he did. One of them was the car cover. When we were first married, we had his Nova and my Nissan Stanza. About a year and a half into the marriage, we sold the Stanza and bought a brand new Cutlass Calais, which cost around $11,000 back then. We were living in an apartment and didn’t have a garage, so Kevin, wanting to protect our vehicle investment, bought a cloth car cover for the Calais complete with a lock and key. He loved the Nova, which was straight drive, and since I preferred an automatic transmission, I drove the Calais most of the time.

This meant, every morning before going to work, I’d have to squat down in the parking lot beside the car -- so much fun in panty hose and heels -- and fiddle with the lock near the bottom of the car door. Sometimes it was difficult to fit the key in just right, and I’d have to make several attempts. This was especially fun in the rain. Then once finally unlocked, I’d have to pull it off the car and place it in the trunk before I’d go my merry way into work. I hated it! Who had a car cover for a regular ole Chevrolet? And what were the odds of someone stealing a dirty car cover? We protected the car cover like it was a Trump bank account, but I’m pretty sure the broomstick we used to ensure nobody got in our sliding glass patio door was not top of the line security. It’s hard to believe I ever went along with this plan.

When I look back at the early years of our marriage, I also remember the time we went to Chicago where Kevin had some business meetings. We flew up together on the weekend and did some sight-seeing, including the Sears Tower, walking along Lake Michigan, and of course a baseball game at Wrigley Park. But Kevin’s meetings were not until that following week, so I had to fly back by myself to go to work. We had only been married about three months, and I hated leaving him. I really felt like I was leaving a part of myself in Chicago. When I walked through my gate at the airport, I turned and looked at Kevin as he stood there with his hands in his pockets, gazing at me like he was really in love with me. He was wearing a pale yellow Izod shirt, and to this day I can see him standing there in the airport. I missed him so much that I was teary-eyed the whole flight home.

Now with kids and teens and the hustle and bustle of every event-packed day and night, I sometimes stop and remember how that moment felt. I remember a younger Kevin in his yellow shirt gazing at me with the hint of a smile on his lips. In going through photos for a graduation book I made for our oldest son a few years ago, I came across old photos of Kevin and me from those Before Kids days. I re-read old letters and cards we sent each other that were actually romantic. And I find myself wondering, “What happened to us?” Kevin and me. Us. I know what the answer is. I know what happened: life, family, responsibilities, priorities, goals. All good things. But they bring changes. I miss ‘us’ and I’m not sure exactly when we disappeared. Was it when we had to meet a job deadline instead of talk to each other? Was it when we had to go to a PTA meeting instead of to a movie together? Was it when we were so tired at the end of the day that we fought instead of supporting each other? Was it when we decided not to go away together for a weekend alone because our kids’ schedules were too busy? Was it all of the above?

There were challenges in the early years – the adjustment to living with another human being so completely different; but, there were so many rewards. I think we were more patient then. A car cover?? Good God, that would send me completely over the edge now. We were, I think, different, more forgiving people in those early years who had not yet fallen victim to the stresses of life. I hope that somehow we can find those people again someday.

Sharon O'Donnell is the mom of three sons -- ages 20, 17 and 11 -- and is surrounded by testosterone in her home with her husband, sons and male long-haired dachshund. You will find her blog here monthly and can read more about her at www.momsofboys.org. O'Donnell's humor book, House of Testosterone, was published by Houghton Mifflin in 2008. A award-winning columnist for The Cary News for 12 years, she has also written for Good Housekeeping and Better Homes & Gardens.

New school choice selection opens for Wake parents

2012-01-17 11:20:59

After two years of contentious debate, Wake County Public School System's choice-based student assignment plan becomes a reality today, allowing parents to choose a new WCPSS school for their child to attend next year.

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MLK events feature song, dance & service in the Triangle

2012-01-17 11:15:58

Across the Triangle, families are honoring Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. with special events. Dr. King's dream that "little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers" comes to life today and continues through February as groups of all races gather to celebrate with music, dance and community service projects.

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MLK events feature song, dance & service in the Triangle

2012-01-16 10:21:19

Triangle weekend offers free family fun, MLK events

2012-01-16 10:19:16

Get ready for a long weekend full of fun family events in Triangle with many kids out of school on Monday, Jan. 16, to celebrate the Martin Luther King Jr. holiday. You'll find lots of free MLK events spread across the weekend as well as nature programs that take kids outdoors for hands-on exploration. See how your town is honoring the legacy of civil rights leader Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. in this round-up of MLK events.

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Movie Choices for Kids - Beauty & the Beast, Joyful Noise

2012-01-16 09:24:50

BEAUTY & THE BEAST (Running time: approx. 84 minutes)
Rated PG Animated with the voices of: Paige, Robbie Benson, Angela Lansbury, Jerry Ohrbach
I can’t believe its 20 years since this gorgeous movie came out. Now it’s being re-released in 3-D and it is awesome. I remember how beautiful the opening scene of the forest was and in 3-D it is breath-taking. The glorious music will light up your heart along with this warm story of true love.
Fun, funny, scary in parts, Beauty & the Beast is a classic animated movie for kids. Now your children can enjoy the experience of seeing it on the big screen and in 3-D. I’d almost forgotten how fantastic the “Be Our Guest” scene was with the spoons and forks dancing.
You probably know the story and have rented the movie. Still, this is an event and taking the kids to see something familiar is not a bad idea. There is violence, fighting and a little blood. The wolves in the forest are scary. There is no bad language or sex. Beauty & the Beast should be a great experience for children six and up and parents will be riveted, too. I was. Don’t miss this delicious classic. Also, a cute short animated feature of the wedding of the Entangled couple added some silly, slapstick fun.
JOYFUL NOISE (Running time: approx. 118 minutes)
Rated PG-13 Starring Dolly Parton, Queen Latifah, Jeremy Jordan, Keke Thomas
The advertisements for this film did not do it justice. G.G. (Parton) is a wealthy, strong-willed woman with a heart of gold who sings in the choir at Divinity church. Her husband dies and she expects to take over his job. But the job goes to Vi Rose (Latifah) instead. Vi Rose has an iron will, too, and the women clash.
On top of this, G.G.’s grandson, Randy (Jordan) moves in with G.G. when there is trouble at home. He takes an immediate liking to Vi Rose’s daughter, Olivia (Thomas) who is kept under strict supervision by her mother. Their growing attraction adds to the conflict between the women. For icing on this cake, stir in the disagreements between the women on what kind of music is going to win the choir first place in the Joyful Noise choir competition.
This lively, entertaining movie had fantastic music, reason enough to see it. The small town counting on a win to save their pride isn’t a new theme but the characters were rounded enough and the pacing fast enough to keep your attention. Supporting characters added much to this movie and the messages are totally positive. Religion is at the basis of this film but it doesn’t shove it down your throat rather it gently places the concept of God in front of you.
There is some violence when three boys have a fist fight, but nothing gory or over-the-top. There is no bad language but one morning-after scene of adults having spent the night together. There are some adult issues. Joyful Noise is an excellent movie to see with your kids eleven and up.

Gustafer Yellowgold show offers kids a special escape

2012-01-12 11:19:27

When you were a child, did your mom or dad take you to a live performance that captured your imagination? For me, it was the circus, with flying trapeze artists and daring stuntmen. I also enjoyed going to plays at our local community theater and school, which transported me to worlds far different from my own.

At 11 a.m. on Saturday, Jan. 21, parents will have a opportunity to introduce kids to a performance with a creative storyline when Gustafer Yellowgold returns to The ArtsCenter, in Carrboro.

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One super dad to win Super Bowl tickets

2012-01-10 08:26:47

Dads: Picture this. It's Feb. 5, and you're sitting with your child at Lucas Oil Stadium in Indianapolis waiting for the kickoff for Super Bowl XLVI. Your tickets, valued at $2,000 each, didn't cost you a penny.

Fathers wanting a chance to realize this fantasy can opt to enter a contest designed to showcase the characteristics of a good father: loving, coaching and modeling.

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Movie Choices for Kids - Extremely Loud, Incredibly Close, The Iron Lady

2012-01-09 10:51:08

EXTREMELY LOUD INCREDIBLY CLOSE (Running time: approx. 129 minutes)
Rated PG-13 Starring Tom Hanks, Sandra Bullock, Thomas Horn, Max Von Sydow, Viola Davis
I was reluctant to see this movie after living through 9/11 here in New York City. I was right, the movie recalling that day over and over is both extremely sad and somewhat uplifting. Oskar (Horn), a nine-year-old boy, stumbles upon a key belonging to his dad and spends the entire movie trying to find the lock that fits it. The pursuit of this mystery parallels Oskar’s feelings of guilt, anger and abandonment at his father’s death in the 9/11 tragedy. Oskar hopes to find peace with his father’s death when he finds the lock.
The movie is too long. Too much time is spent watching Oskar run; some of the parts, like walking from the Upper West Side to Brooklyn and so on because Oskar as Asbergerer-like issues, are not believable. Oskar’s unfathomable relationship with his mother who seems to let this youngster roam the city by himself and a strange man who enters the picture who refuses to speak are two more puzzles thrown into the mix.
This movie is about loss, serious, gut-wrenching loss of a parent you adored. That theme makes it unsuitable for children. While the advertisements paint it as an adventure, there are parts, like hearing his father’s six voice messages before he goes down in the World Trade Center and pictures of people falling from the building that are horrifying and twist your heart. The movie taken from a novel is well made and beautifully acted. But that doesn’t make it appropriate for kids. There is no violence, no sex and no bad language. If you want to see it with your children, take ‘tweens and teens.
THE IRON LADY (Running time: approx. 105 minutes)
Rated PG-13 Starring Meryl Streep, James Broadbent, Harold Lloyd
I had high hopes for this movie but only half of it was worth my time. I went to view this film eagerly seeking another outstanding Meryl Streep performance and a peek into the life of Margaret Thatcher. The interesting parts of the movie were done in flashback and too much time was spent with Mrs. Thatcher descending into Alzheimer’s, having visions of her dead husband and trying to face the end of her life.
The history parts of the movie, her move into Parliament and some of her time as Prime Minister were the most interesting parts and Ms. Streep’s finest moments. But too much was not properly explained. When 10 Downing Street was bombed, all you saw was the bombing with no explanation of why it happened or what occurred afterward. For teens and ‘tweens who didn’t live through her regime, they will be left in the dark on some issues.
The war to recapture the Falkland Islands was fascinating and covered well. The portrayal of her as a person, her personal trials, ambition and ideals were good. Half this movie was worth seeing but the other half was drawn out, boring and jumped around too much. I wish I could recommend it but I can’t. There was violence in real news footage of actual events, one quick flash of breasts also in news footage and a tad of bad language.

Fit Mama Fest Offers Free Workouts and Kids Fun

2012-01-08 20:36:14

Is getting more exercise one of your New Year's resolutions? No? How about getting a free massage? Either way, if you happen to be the mother of an infant, tot or preschooler, you won't want to miss Fit Mama Fest 2012, a fun free event Wednesday, Jan 18, at Cary Towne Center Mall.

Hosted by Stroller Strides of Raleigh, a fitness program designed for moms and stroller-aged kids, the event will include free Stroller Strides workouts, "Mommy-and-Me" yoga, other fitness and fun sessions for both moms and kids, as well as free massages, mommy-friendly vendor exhibitions, arts and crafts, and raffle prizes.

Triangle weekend offers free family events

2012-01-08 20:34:56

This first weekend in January brings balmy temperatures and lots of family fun to the Triangle, from First Friday events at museums in Raleigh that are free or discounted to a free Day of the Kings parade and celebration in Cary on Saturday. You'll also find opportunities to enjoy live music or head outdoors to enjoy nature with your kids. Unless otherwise noted, look for details on these upcoming programs in our Daily Calendar.

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Gentleman in Training

2012-01-06 07:37:19

When it comes to manners, I am old school.

I keep hoping for the day that I don't have to begin dinner with "napkin in your lapkin" or end dinner with "where does your plate go?"

These basic courtesies were literally drilled into my brain growing up about the constant importance of good graces. Is it wrong or dated to expect them in my 10-year-old son? This year, we have begun the book "50 Things Ever Young Gentleman Should Know" by John Bridges and Bryan Curtis. (there is also the girl version for young lady too). I have to say it is a hilarious read and a perfect tone for tween boys.

Here's a few examples:

On sports...
"A gentleman does not throw a fit when a call does not goes his way or when he loses."

On apologies...
"A gentleman who has offended another person says, 'I'm sorry.'"

My fav on hygiene...
"A gentleman puts on a clean shirt instead of smelling the armpits of a shirt to see if can wear it again."

It would be easy to blame technology or the media for ruining our kids, or the fact that this generation is different and doesn't understand the importance of good manners. I will set all that aside and be persistent anyways. Manners are important and tell a lot about the kind of character our kids have. Even if I have to say "napkin in the lapkin" for 365 days straight, one day I know he will get it.

And I know that day, Emily Post will smile. So will I.

Written by Cara McLauchlan, whose blog, Joy Goggles, celebrates the simple joys of life. It’s a chance to look at our days through “Joy Goggles” and discover the beauty in ordinary.

Parents to get primer on Wake schools assignment plan

2012-01-04 12:05:19

Planning to send your child to a Wake County public school for the 2012-2013 school year but not sure how to go about choosing a school under the new Choice Student Assignment Plan? The Wake County Public School System is gearing up to help parents navigate the new school choices set to take effect in two weeks, even as some school board members are proposing last-minute changes to the choice assignment plan.

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DRAFT

2012-01-04 09:56:40

Cathie, a childhood friend, holds a sing-along on her birthday each year. Guests are invited to bring copies of music they want to sing and any instruments they care to play. The beauty of this is that the gift everyone brings to Cathie is also a gift to the givers.

You probably already know that singing makes you feel happy, but there are benefits to your health that you should know about. People who sing are healthier than people who don’t. Singing releases endorphins into your system and makes you feel energized and uplifted. Endorphins are always in your body but at varying levels. They act like morphine and also elevate your mood.

Gunter Kreutz et al, studied the effects of choir music on the immune system and mood, in members of a mixed amateur choir. In two separate rehearsals one week apart, namely, singing versus listening to choral music, they learned that singing leads to increases in positive affect and S-IgA (boosts the immune system), while negative affect is reduced. Listening to choral music leads to an increase in negative affect, and decreases in levels of cortisol (also lowering the immune system). WOW! DOES THIS MEAN IT'S NOT GOOD TO LISTENT CHORAL MUSIC? These results suggest that choir singing positively influences both emotional affect and immune competence.

Singing and asthma
Studies have found that singing helps people with asthma and bronchitis because of the deep breathing, and because a variety of muscles, such as the diaphragm, get a workout. There's even some evidence that singing lessons can help suppress snoring. Singing can help prolong life. Graham Welch, director for advanced music education at London’s Roehampton Institute, states “Singing exercises the vocal cords and keeps them youthful, even in old age. The less age-battered your voice sounds, the more you will feel, and seem, younger.”

Greg Cohen of George Washington University tracked a Senior Singers Chorale in Arlington, Va. The chorale singers’ average age is 80 — the youngest is 65 and the oldest 96. Early findings were that singers suffered less depression, made fewer doctor visits a year, took fewer medications and increased their other activities.

Can’t carry a tune? Researchers at the University of Manchester have discovered that the sacculus, a little organ in the inner ear, responds to frequencies commonly found in music, and is connected to the part of the brain responsible for registering pleasure. This sacculus is ONLY responsive to low-frequency, high-intensity sounds, which include singing, and it responds within a few seconds of hearing that kind of sound. So you get immediate pleasure when you sing, regardless of what it sounds like to anyone else.

Reid Wilson, Ph.D., associate clinical professor of psychiatry at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill School of Medicine, believes you can “sing away your woes.” Simply choose a familiar song, and then set your troubles to music. For example, instead of crooning the traditional words to "Mary Had A Little Lamb," imagine warbling, “My credit card bill is going to be late, going to be late, going to be late; my credit rating will be ruined, and I’ll never get a mortgage.” Sing your own version of the worry song in your mind, or out loud for a few minutes, until you feel less anxious. It works because “the singing makes you feel ridiculous”, says Wilson. “And it’s very hard to maintain your distress when you’re doing something foolish. You step back from the worry and put it in perspective.”

Want to start feeling better now? Go to www.youcansingtoo.com and start living! I’ll be there at your birthday sing along this year, Cathie.

Resources
Barbershop Harmony Society www.barbershop.org/ Berkeley Wellness Alerts, Sing to Your Health, Dec. 23, 2011. THIS LINK ISN'T WORKING: Berkeleywellnessalerts@e.berkeleywellnessalerts.com

MAY I USE THIS ONE? http://www.berkeleywellnessalerts.com/

OK TO CUT THIS? I"VE LINKED TO IT ABOVE: Effects of Choir Singing or Listening on Secretory Immunoglobulin A, Cortisol, and Emotional State - Gunter Kreutz,1,3 Stephan Bongard,2 Sonja Rohrmann,2 Volker Hodapp,2 and Dorothee Grebe1 - Accepted for publication: November 11, 2003 -

Cary, Hillsborough celebrate '3 Kings' with family event

2012-01-03 12:35:23

The holidays are over, and it's bitterly cold, but hold on; two fun family events are coming later this week, just when temperatures are expected to rise to the 50s and 60s. Both events celebrate the end of the Christmas season, when Christians believe the three wise men arrived at the stable in the Bethlehem bearing gifts to see the infant Jesus.

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Join a Free Martin Luther King Jr. Party for Triangle Kids

2012-01-03 11:43:39

Can you imagine how it might have felt to sit down to dinner as a child with grown-ups who planned protests between bites of Mama’s creamy macaroni and cheese? Or imagine walking beside Uncle Martin Luther King, Jr. and Aunt Coretta in that historic march from Selma to Montgomery until your legs were so tired you had to ride on your father’s back?

This MLK Day, join other Triangle families for an MLK Birthday party at Northgate mall as Paula Young Shelton, a daughter of civil right leader Andrew Young, takes us on a vivid trip back to Paula’s childhood in an extraordinary family--the family of the civil rights movement!

If you’re looking for a meaningful way to celebrate MLK Day with your child, then please join us for this kid-friendly birthday party for Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr!

What: Join us for a free English/ Spanish story time, songs, crafts, and birthday cake as we celebrate his life and legacy in a way that kids can understand. Paula Young Shelton, daughter of civil rights activist Andrew Young, will read from her book A Child of the Civil Rights Movement and share her experiences with Dr. King as part of her family’s daily life, growing up in Atlanta during segregation, and marching in Selma, Alabama as a child. She will also be stressing the importance of voting and voter registration will be provided.

In continuing Dr. King’s commitment to service, participants are asked to donate nonperishable food items or toiletry items (soap, toothbrushes, diapers, etc) for families served by the Durham Urban Ministries.

When: The party will take place on MLK Day, Monday, Jan. 16. The party will start with preschool story time at 10 and school-aged story time at 12. Ms. Young Shelton will be signing her book at 11 and 1 at Northgate Books.

Where: In front of Northgate Books at Northgate Mall, 1058 West Club Blvd, Durham, NC.
Sponsors: This event is sponsored by NC MomsRising, the Durham Mothers Club, the Carrboro/ Chapel Hill Mothers Club, Lango Kids, Northgate Books, and Northgate Mall.
Volunteers are needed. Please let us know if you can help or if you have questions. 919-544-8781 or beth_messersmith@yahoo.com

Please help us spread the word about this free event! You can also find information on Facebook under the event MLK Birthday Party for Triangle Kids!

-- Written by Beth Messersmith , a mother of two and NC Campaign Director for MomsRising.org.

Homemade cures for the post-holiday blues

2012-01-02 12:33:08

Are you ready for the difficult task at hand? I'm talking about returning to reality on a cold dark January morning. This week, after the delights and magic of the holidays, we'll be coaxing our kids to return to school, even as we head back to work and pick up our daily chores.

If you're looking to help your kids transition back to school, one trick is to get them into bed about 15 minutes earlier each night of the vacation time, so that by the time school day rolls around, they will be prepared to wake up.

Movie Choices for Kids - We Bought a Zoo, War Horse

2011-12-29 18:56:23

WE BOUGHT A ZOO (Running time: approx. 124 minutes)
Rated PG Starring Matt Damon, Scarlett Johansson, Thomas Haden Church
As much as I enjoyed this movie it’s not for little kids. We Bought a Zoo, based on a true story and taken from a book, is about loss. Benjamin Mee’s wife died six months before the movie begins. His fourteen-year-old son has a hard time adjusting; he misses his mom and can’t communicate with his dad. That’s how the movie begins.
When his son gets expelled from school, Benjamin (Damon), quits his job, looks everywhere for a suitable house and a school. He settles on a rundown house out of town then discovers it comes with a small zoo. Of course all the animals and the zoo staff come into play, relieving some of the sadness of the situation but you never forget about the loss.
The movie ties Benjamin’s acceptance and recovery to the inevitable end of an old tiger’s life. After the tiger dies, Benjamin begins to deal with the loss of his wife. Of course he and his son clear the air and the zoo gets saved. I loved the quirky bunch running the zoo.
There is no violence, bad language or sex in this movie. But if you’re looking for a cutesy movie about rescuing a zoo and all the adorable animals, this isn’t it. It is a fine movie to see with your children ages 10 and up who can handle the loss part.
WAR HORSE (approx. running time: 146 hours minutes)
Rated PG-13 Starring Jeremy Irvine, Emily Watson
Another Steven Spielberg masterpiece, War Horse is superb if 20 minutes too long. This, also, is not for young kids. The story is about a family in England shortly before WWI broke out.
Albert’s father goes a bit nutty at a horse auction and buys a stunning horse for the wrong reasons. Albert (Irvine) makes friends with the horse and trains him. Although he isn’t the workhorse they needed, Albert is able to get Joey, the thoroughbred, to do the plowing. Then a huge storm blows in at the wrong time, ruining the crops needed to pay the rent. So Albert’s father is forced to sell the horse to the Army.
The rest of the movie is Joey’s odyssey as he first becomes the horse of a proud officer, then a member of the German army, then companion to a French girl and so on. The scenes of war are graphic. Though there is no blood, the battlegrounds are terrifying, establishing this as a movie for older children.
I liked the way the movie depicted the soldiers from both sides as scared young men not understanding why they were supposed to kill each other. There is violence, no bad language in American English and no sex. War Horse, a three-hanky movie is best for kids 11 and up and adults.
TOP TEN KIDS MOVIES OF 2011
This is a first. I’m can’t find 10 movies to be the top 10 so this year we’ll have the top eight:
1) The Adventures of Tintin
2) The Muppets
3) Puss “n Boots
4) Cars 2
5) Rio
6) Kung Fu Panda
7) Diary of a Wimpy Kid
8) Justin Bieber Concert: Never Say Never
Happy New Year! Thanks for taking the time to read the column.

Sing For Your Health

2011-12-29 14:14:39

In a study published in the Journal of Behavioral Medicine, researchers examined the effects of choir music on the immune system and mood on members of a mixed amateur choir. In two separate rehearsals one week apart, namely, singing versus listening to choral music, they learned that singing leads to increases in positive affect and S-IgA (which boosts the immune system), while negative affect is reduced. On the other hand, listening to choral music leads to an increase in negative affect, and decreases in levels of cortisol, which lower the immune system. These results suggest that choir singing lifts a person's spirits and boosts immunity more than just listening to the music.

Can’t Carry a Tune?
Researchers at the University of Manchester have discovered that the sacculus, a little organ in the inner ear, responds to frequencies commonly found in music, and is connected to the part of the brain responsible for registering pleasure. This sacculus is ONLY responsive to low-frequency, high-intensity sounds, which include singing, and it responds within a few seconds of hearing that kind of sound. So you get immediate pleasure when you sing, regardless of what it sounds like to anyone else.

Help for Asthma
Studies have found that singing helps people with asthma and bronchitis because of the deep breathing, and because a variety of muscles, such as the diaphragm, get a workout. There's even some evidence that singing lessons can help suppress snoring.

Feel Younger
Graham Welch, director for advanced music education at London’s Roehampton Institute, states “Singing exercises the vocal cords and keeps them youthful, even in old age. The less age-battered your voice sounds, the more you will feel, and seem, younger.”

Ward Off Depression
Greg Cohen of George Washington University tracked a Senior Singers Chorale in Arlington, Va. The chorale singers’ average age is 80 — the youngest is 65 and the oldest 96. Early findings were that singers suffered less depression, made fewer doctor visits a year, took fewer medications and increased their other activities.

How to Sing Away Your Woes
Reid Wilson, Ph.D., associate clinical professor of psychiatry at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill School of Medicine, believes you can “sing away your woes.” Simply choose a familiar song, and then set your troubles to music. For example, instead of crooning the traditional words to "Mary Had A Little Lamb," imagine warbling, “My credit card bill is going to be late, going to be late, going to be late; my credit rating will be ruined, and I’ll never get a mortgage.” Sing your own version of the worry song in your mind, or out loud for a few minutes, until you feel less anxious. It works because “the singing makes you feel ridiculous”, says Wilson. “And it’s very hard to maintain your distress when you’re doing something foolish. You step back from the worry and put it in perspective.”

Want to start feeling better now? Go to www.youcansingtoo.com and start living! I’ll be there at your birthday sing-along this year, Cathie.

Resources
Barbershop Harmony Society www.barbershop.org/ Berkeley Wellness Alerts, Sing to Your Health, Dec. 23, 2011. http://www.berkeleywellnessalerts.com/

— Written by Barbara Hotelling BSN, Women’s Health Nurse Practitioner, of the UNC Family Medicine Center

Triangle rings in 2012 New Year with family fun events

2011-12-29 13:48:17

Got plans to celebrate the New Year with your family? Across the Triangle, you'll find lots of family-friendly holiday events designed to please kids and grown-ups of all ages. Sample culture from Africa to France, or escape to the beauty of our state parks.

On Dec. 29-30, Cary and Durham will host free family-friendly celebrations of Kwanzaa, a holiday that highlights African-American family, community and culture. Enjoy live performances, children's activities and a market featuring handmade arts and crafts with African theme.

Help Your Kids Get Fit — Financially and Physically

2011-12-29 09:35:05

Carolina Parent’s January issue addresses the importance of family fitness — from financial responsibility to health. My January giveaway includes books that focus on those themes. (And congrats to Jennifer O'Neil of Cary, winner of our December art-inspired giveaway!)

Pretty Penny Sets Up Shop by Devon Kinch (Random House Children’s Books, $16.99)

How to Get a Job by Me the Boss by Sally Lloyd-Jones and Sue Heap (Schwartz & Wade Books, $17.99)

Flat Broke by Gary Paulsen (Random House Children's Books, $12.99)

A Girl's Guide to Fitness, Friends & Fun by Alyssa Shaffer (American Girl Publishing, $8.95)

Be Healthy! It’s a Girl Thing: Food, Fitness and Feeling Great by Mavis Jukes and Lilian Cheung (Random House Children’s Book, $12.99)

Yoga for Mother and Baby: Interactive Poses for You and Your Baby by Francoise Barbira Freedman (CICO Books, $19.95)

The Amazing Fitness Adventure for Your Kids: 90 Days to Raising Healthy Children by Phil and Amy Parham (Harvest House Publishers, $12.99)

Starting this month, you can help Scholastic donate up to 1 million books to children in need through its online book community, YouAreWhatYouRead.com. Here’s how:

Go to YouAreWhatYouRead.com and create a “Bookprint” — a list of five books that have shaped your life.
For every new Bookprint created, Scholastic will donate one book to the literacy nonprofit Reach Out and Read to help a child in need.
Through YouAreWhatYouRead.com, you can also connect with book lovers from around the world, discover new reads and compare your Bookprint to those of 200 famous reading role models on the site including Taylor Swift, Oprah Winfrey and President Bill Clinton, to name a few.

Kids' magazines go digital
Ranger Rick and NWF’s other children’s magazines (Big Backyard and Wild Animal Baby) have gone digital and are now available to kids on their Nook by Barnes & Noble. The magazines will continue to be advertising-free, and each one comes with a 14-day free trial. Single issues are available for $3.50-$3.95, with annual subscriptions priced at $15 for 10 issues. (These are the same prices as the paper version of the magazines, which continue to be available.)

A recent Pew Research Center survey analyzed parents’ attitudes toward their kids’ social networking. Here are the results:

69 percent of the teenagers who use social networking sites say their peers are mostly kind to one another on such sites
80 percent of parents who use social networks have friended their kids
15 percent of social media users who are teens have been a victim of mean or cruel behavior on social network sites
88 percent of social media users who are teens say they have witnessed other people being mean or cruel to another person on a social networking site

A new website called MotherKnows invites users to sign an electronic release that facilitates the collection of their child's medical records from any medical provider and converts them into a custom-tailored health record with graphic displays of immunizations, growth charts, medications and more. They can then share information with grandparents, caretakers, schools, camps and other caretakers. MotherKnows is offering a one-year subscription ($98) to one lucky winner in this month’s giveaway.

The National Institute on Deafness and Other Communication Disorders has launched the “It’s a Noisy Planet. Protect Their Hearing" campaign, designed to increase awareness among parents of children ages 8-12 about the causes and prevention of NIHL. To protect your hearing, you and your child can:

Block the noise (wear earplugs or earmuffs).
Avoid the noise (walk away).
Turn down the sound.

The Noisy Planet website provides parents with information about NIHL, tips on how to teach their children about hearing protection, articles, games, posters and other materials developed for kids to make learning about hearing protection fun as well as educational. For more information, visit www.noisyplanet.nidcd.nih.gov or call 800-241-1044.

If designing — or redesigning — your child or teen’s room is on your to-do list for 2012, check out Art.com’s newly launched Art for Kids microsite, through which customers can explore, share and purchase children’s art. Shop by room type, products or collections. The site also features a “Designer Spotlight” offering designer’s tips and picks. Enter our January giveaway for a chance to win this 12-by-12-inch fairy-themed print by Yuko Lau ($9.99, item no. 10985075397A).

Bits that prioritize peace and responsibility
Speaking of art, visual artist Franck de Las Mercedes started the “Priority Boxes” public art project in 2006 to initiate artistic expression of peace and challenge artists to influence change through art on an abstract, empty box. Mercedes sends a box labeled “FRAGILE: Contains Peace” for free from his small New Jersey studio to anyone who requests one to convey that peace should not have a price and that art can be accessible to all. Each Priority Box serves as a canvas for a unique abstract painting and a platform for communication through art. Mercedes has sent 10,000-plus boxes around the globe, to countries in every continent.

The onset of 2012 is the perfect time to encourage household and financial responsibility. Fisher Kids Responsibility Station ($48) offers families an organized way to assign chores and keep track of the kids’ earnings. The station includes a 16-by-16-inch magnetic pegboard, hanging hardware, pegboard hooks, a dry-erase weekly responsibility magnet, a paycheck notepad, a chore chooser, chore sticks, three money bags and a parents’ guide. Learn more at http://shop.fisher-kids.com.

The Carolina Hurricanes Kids ‘N Community Foundation completed its fall grant process in November and will donate $254,405 to 27 different children’s charitable organizations of the Triangle and North Carolina. View the long list of organizations at www.carolinahurricanes.com.

JANUARY GIVEAWAY
Carolina Parent is giving away some great books, a useful website subscription and a whimsical piece of art this month. We’ll randomly select one winner from those of you who post a comment explaining how you instill responsibility in your children at home — and/or keep track of their chores and other “jobs.”

Prizes:
- All of the books listed above
- A one-year subscription to MotherKnows.com
- A 12-by-12-inch fairy-themed print by Yuko Lau

Disclosure: Carolina Parent received the products mentioned above for free as samples for possible review. As a blogger for Carolina Parent, I have no material connection to the brands, products or services I have mentioned and only include products or services I believe are worth consideration. Contest winners must be able to pick up the prizes at our office in Durham.

This blog is written by Beth Shugg, associate editor at Carolina Parent magazine and mom to two boys and one girl who keep her on the go. She loves to read and play with iPhone apps in her spare time, and will share "Books, Bytes and Bits" of information with you each month in her blog posts that expand on what we cover in our magazine.

Girl delivers holiday spirit to children in NC hospitals

2011-12-28 11:44:51

Sometimes, it takes a 6-year-old to see pain and move grown-ups to act. Five years ago, when Katie Greene was out shopping with her father, she had a thought: If she could give the toys she saw in the store to sick children, they'd feel better and could have a happy Christmas.

Moved by the idea, Katie, then age 6, and her parents started Katie's Kidz, an organization that has now grown to donate presents to children who are in hospitals in North Carolina and South Carolina.

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Triangle celebrates Kwanzaa with family-friendly events

2011-12-25 16:16:31

This week, Triangle families are invited to join in free fun celebrations of Kwanzaa, a holiday that highlights African-American family, community and culture. Events in Cary and in Durham will offer live music, a cultural marketplace with handmade arts and crafts, children's activities, spoken African folktales, and more family-friendly activities.

Read more ...

Movie Choices for Kids - The Adventures of Tintin, Mission:Impossible - Ghost Protocol

2011-12-22 21:24:38

THE ADVENTURES OF TINTIN (Running time: approx. 107 minutes)
Rated PG Animated with the voices of: Jamie Bell, Andy Serkis, Daniel Craig
This is the front runner for BEST KID’S MOVIE OF THE YEAR so far. Wow! The computer graphics in this movie is impeccable. Every detail of the characters, supporting characters, scenes, buildings, windows, you name it, was exact, true to life. Steven Spielberg directed this gorgeous movie and his drive for perfection cannot be equaled this year.
The story is an old one as The Adventures of Tintin comes from a series of comics popular in France. They came out in 1929, so this story has an older feel to it, like Indiana Jones. The adventure is a lot like an Indiana Jones movie but with no gore or creepy critters. Tintin is a boy journalist of indeterminate age. He’s old enough to live alone but doesn’t seem to be old enough to shave. He has a trusty dog, Snowy, who accompanies him on his adventure.
The story does involve a hardened sea captain who has a drinking problem and an evil man seeking treasure at all costs. Murder is committed but there is no blood and many of the bad guys get dumped in the sea and fished out again. The action is non-stop from a boarding house to the desert to the sea; Tintin is on the move, chasing the treasure with the Captain to help him and his trusty, intelligent dog, too.
I found this whole experience delightful. The movie transported me to another world, right into the scene with 3-D graphics better than any other, including Pixar, I’ve ever seen. There is violence but no blood, no bad language and no sex. This film should be fine to see with your children age seven and up. Enjoy it; it’s a fantastic ride for adult and child.

MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE – GHOST PROTOCOL (approx. running time: 129 minutes)
Rated PG-13 Starring Tom Cruise, Jeremy Renner, Simon Pegg
Whew, there isn’t a dull second in this movie. Action packed doesn’t begin to describe this entry in the series. On the way to complete a mission something goes wrong and a big explosion destroys the Kremlin. Of course the Russians assume the Americans did it and the IMF team has been disavowed and is on their own. And that’s simply the introduction.
It was great to see the team get messed up and make some mistakes in this film. The perfection thing wears thin after a while. There are guns galore, shooting, killing, fist fights, a car chase, climbing on a building 130 stories up, not to mention a sandstorm in the Middle East! I let out an audible sigh of relief from time to time when the excitement got intense.
As usual with this series, there were clever pieces and amazing schemes worked out down to the second. If you’re looking for a highly entertaining, fast-moving movie that will keep you on the edge of your seat, this is it. See it with your ‘tweens and teens or kids 11 and up. There is violence, a sprinkling of bad language from time to time, sexual innuendo but no sex. I saw it with my son and we both enjoyed it immensely.

Enjoy holiday weekend family fun in the Triangle

2011-12-22 16:19:57

What's at the top of the weekend holiday fun list? For good little boys and girls across the Triangle, it has to be Santa, coming down your chimney! If you'd like to track that jolly old elf as he makes his way across night sky on Christmas Eve, visit our Winter Holidays Guide, where you'll also find some surprising high-tech answers to your kids' tricky Santa questions.

It's no surprise that some museums and places to play will be closed on Saturday and Sunday to celebrate Christmas, but many will reopen on Monday, so call ahead to find out specific schedules. Over the weekend, why not make your own fun? Here's a list of ideas to entertain the kids, some of which are free:

Enjoy holiday weekend family fun in the Triangle

2011-12-22 11:52:59

Take the stress out of hosting holiday guests

2011-12-22 11:51:03

It's that time of year, when holiday guests appear. Although I love having family and friends over, I do tend to get a little stressed and nervous about fitting everyone into my house and keeping them entertained and fed. Then there is the cleaning frenzy I engage in before they show up which leaves me with hardly any energy by the time they get here. (It's how I show I care.)

This year, I've been trying to keep a perspective on what really matters, which I know is keeping the holiday spirit alive and actually spending quality time with guests. Afterall, having a perfectly clean house is no guarantee that guests will feel welcome, especially if it comes with a grouchy hostess. With that in mind, here are some tips I plan to be following:

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A Member of the Family

2011-12-20 23:25:23

My husband, Kevin, often wears a t-shirt that says, “My goal in life is to be the person my dog thinks I am.” A high aspiration indeed. If that were everybody’s goal, this world would surely be a better place. Our dog, a 7-year-old red long-haired dachshund named Fenway, is the light of our life – and of our family. He can make a good day great and a bad day a lot better. Sure, he’s awfully cute with his floppy ears, but it’s his personality that truly won us over. “Like a member of the family” is a trite phrase that is probably overused to attempt to describe how people feel about their pets. But within a few days of having Fen, we all knew exactly what that phrase meant. There was nothing trite or insincere about it.

Four years ago when our youngest son, Jason, was in first grade, parents were invited to come hear the students read stories they wrote, and they read them out loud in the media center. Part of each story was a dedication, which proved to be the sweetest and most interesting part. “For my little sister.” “For my mom who I love so much.” “To my wonderful parents.” “To my mother who is my best friend.” All the parents responded accordingly by saying the appropriate “Awww” with each dedication. When Jason got up to read his story, he began, “I want to dedicate this to my dog, Fenway.” I love Fen, I really do. But at that moment, I was just a wee bit jealous.

We get so incredibly attached to our pets, and they hold a special place in our hearts – deservedly so. And when our pets face a health issue, we realize – if we didn’t already – just how much we love them. That happened to us in early December when Fenway started shivering and was reluctant to walk as if it hurt him. Dachshunds, with their long backs and short legs, are prone to back problems, and that was what we feared Fen’s problem was. We took him to the NC State Veterinary school and had an MRI done, which showed Fen had a herniated disc. Our options were to have him rest a lot in his crate while taking pain meds or for Fen to have surgery. The idea of Fenway relying on pain medications for the rest of his life was hard to accept since he was only 7-years-old and would hopefully live a much longer time. I’d had a dachshund when I was growing up and he lived until the age of 16. Besides, his back problem could get worse, possibly resulting in paralysis of his back legs and hind end. We opted for the surgery. The doctors told us that if the disc had been herniated for a while that it might be impossible to get it totally out of the spinal canal but that they could increase the space around the herniated disc to give the disc more room to move without hitting nerves. They could also do a preventative procedure on the other discs in his back to ward off problems in the future.

The night before the surgery, we were extremely glad we’d decided on the surgery because Fenway’s breathing was very labored, groaning with each breath, obviously in tremendous pain. We took him into the vet school, and the surgery began around noon. We waited for a phone call they said would come around four o’clock. Finally, the news came: Fenway had come through surgery well, but they could not get the herniated disc out of the spinal canal because it was embedded too well and would be too risky to Fenway’s spine. But they did do the other two procedures, which would hopefully be enough to keep him pain-free for a long time.

My oldest son, Billy, 20, and I went to visit him the next day since Kevin was away on business. We knew that it would be a shock to see him again since he’d be so wobbly after major surgery. And we knew his back would be shaved somewhat. When we got to his kennel area, he took a step toward us, excited, and then plopped down on his butt. Cute if he were a puppy learning to walk, but scary when he was an adult dog with back problems. They also had shaved a lot more of his back than we thought they would. There was about an eight inch incision down his back with complete with stitches and staples. It was a rather shocking sight. But Fen was so happy to see us, and we were overjoyed to see him. To hold him. To let him know that we were still there for him even though he had to stay at the hospital another night.

I thought Jason, our 11-year-old, was going to faint the first time he saw Fenway. His face froze and went pale, and his eyes did something I can’t really describe – they somehow lost their sparkle and looked glossed over in disbelief. Billy and I both asked him if he was all right. He said he was, but then he put his head in my lap beside Fen and burst into uncontrollable tears. I shed some tears too, and when I looked at Billy, sure enough, there were tears brimming in his eyes also. Jason later said that he had expected to see stitches in Fen's back, but not staples, and they took him by surprise.

Throughout the whole month of December, we couldn’t let Fen move around a lot – and certainly not play or climb stairs. We either held him or put him in his crate; we carried him around from room to room and outside to his pen to do his business. We’d take turns holding him during the day and at night he slept in his wire crate right in the middle of our king size bed. He was under constant supervision. It was like having a baby again. We also had to give him medications three times a day for three weeks. Fenway is much better now, and we’ve been able to keep him relatively still so that his back can heal the best it can. But Fen’s days of going up and down steps are gone. We hope and pray that he will live a long life with no more back pain. We look forward to the time in a month or so when he can start to play with us and his toys the energetic way he used to do. And the fur is growing back slowly.

When I took Fenway out one recent warm day, I sat down beside him on the deck and watched him as he basked in the sun, sometimes distracted by a squirrel. He’d give a half-hearted bark and then hold his nose up toward the sun and partially close his eyes like that sunshine felt so good. I’d had back surgery myself several years ago, and he was now going through getting older just as I have been. It was then I realized that in dog years, Fen was 49 – just like me. I put my arm around him and sighed. “Being 49 sucks, doesn’t Fen?” He turned to me and licked my face. I think he was saying our best years are still ahead of us.

Sharon O'Donnell is the mom of three sons -- ages 20, 17 and 11 -- and is surrounded by testosterone in her home with her husband, sons and male long-haired dachshund. You will find her blog here monthly and can read more about her at www.momsofboys.org. O'Donnell's humor book, House of Testosterone, was published by Houghton Mifflin in 2008. A award-winning columnist for The Cary News for 12 years, she has also written for Good Housekeeping and Better Homes & Gardens.

Head to Cary's first Jewish Cultural Festival Dec. 20

2011-12-20 10:44:31

Interested in learning more about Jewish culture, food and entertainment in a festive atmosphere? On Tuesday, Dec. 20, the Town of Cary will host its first Jewish Cultural Festival Tuesday, from 4-9 p.m. at the Cary Arts Center.

The festival will feature traditional Jewish dance, skits and singing, and children's activities that include making candles, menorahs and dreidels.

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Should you give kids gender-specific gifts?

2011-12-20 10:43:08

Should you gift the girls on your shopping list, typical "girl" toys like dolls, and give the boys toys like trucks and race cars? Over the years, I've pondered this question. When my son was a tot, I gave him a small umbrella stroller so he could take his doll for a walk with me. I figured it was never too early to teach him parenting skills. I also gave him a dollhouse one year.

OK, so he did use his pirate ship to sack the doll's house, but we also enjoyed many leisurely outings with the stroller on sunny days. Was I doing the right thing? Deborah Best, a developmental psychologist at Wake Forest University, says that although kids naturally gravitate to gender-appropriate toys, playing with other-gender toys may teach new skills.

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Movie Choices for Kids - Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked, Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows

2011-12-19 10:02:30

ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS: CHIPWRECKED (Running time: approx. 87 minutes)
Rated G Live action and computer animation: Jason Lee
As much as I was dreading this movie it was better than expected, which may not be saying much. Alvin, the Chipmunks, the Chipettes and Dave are on a cruise ship taking them to the location for the International Music Awards. Alvin is causing trouble, as usual, and Dave has his hands full. Kids will love the slapstick doings on the ship and the havoc the little rodents create among the passengers. The attempt at drama when Simon tells Dave how to handle Alvin is fairly silly but at a level children will understand.
One of Alvin’s antics gets the Chipmunks sailing away from the ship on a kite and plunks them down on an uncharted island. Of course Dave jumps in after them and the nasty man, their former manager, is there in a pelican suit and he ends up in the drink with Dave.
The rest of the movie takes place on the island where they meet a crazed young woman who has been there for ten years. Treasure gets involved in this meandering plot as well. Once the Chipmunks are reunited with Dave and the manager, they go about trying to get off the island and back to civilization. Yes, they make it back and Alvin is forgiven for his bad behavior, again! A few more subplots are thrown in, like Simon getting bitten by a spider and having a personality change. While that is often confusing, it doesn’t appear to be in this movie.
I love the music, always the best part of the Chipmunks movies. The chivalrous way the boy chipmunks treat the girls is heartwarming and sends good messages. There is a scene in a casino where the Chipmunks gamble and a dance off with human women that is mild. There is no violence, bad language or sex. While adults might be bored to tears, Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked is okay for kids age five and up who can behave and sit still in a movie theater. Call grandma.
SHERLOCK HOLMES: A GAME OF SHADOWS (approx. running time: 129 minutes)
Rated PG-13 Starring Robert Downey, Jr., Jude Law, Jared Harris, Rachel McAdams
Wow, what an action packed movie this is! The plot is complicated so you must stay awake or you won’t know what’s going on. It begins with an explosion that Holmes decides to investigate, waylaying Dr. Watson on the eve of his wedding. From there we meet a gypsy and the story move along at a rapid pace.
While we aren’t surprised Moriarty is the one behind all the bad doings, there are many other surprises along the way. I loved the slow-motion the director, Guy Ritchie, used to show us how something came about. It was clever and helped me understand Holmes’ thinking. The movie is clever, outrageous, funny, engrossing and suspenseful – thoroughly entertaining and enjoyable.
There is violence, no bad language and no sex. I’m not sure why this movie is PG-13 except it is not for young children who will never be able to follow the story. Perfect for ‘tweens and teens, see it with your kids, if they will let you.

Triangle offers free weekend holiday family fun!

2011-12-15 13:27:12

Don't think you can't fit in some family fun this last weekend before Christmas. Lots of events are happening in the early evening when you can take a moment to unwind with the kids, and some are free. It's not too late to visit with Santa or watch a holiday show.

Check our Daily Calendar for nature programs that let you escape with the kids from holiday stress for a night out in the woods, make crafts or listen to stories about animals.

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Sneak fun exercise into your kids' holiday break

2011-12-14 13:30:10

Will the kids be camping on the couch when school's out for the holiday break? If you'd like to help nudge them into a more active and healthier holiday, you might try sneaking fitness into holiday activities. Take a look at these tips from i9 Sports fitness, a youth sports franchise with local leagues, for some tricks that just might work.

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Tips to go green and cut waste this holiday season

2011-12-13 10:46:01

Do you find yourself rushing to buy gifts, get decorations up and bake cookies while still trying to put dinner on the table, clean house and get the kids to school on time? Amid the rush, it's still possible to have a green holiday that cuts down on holiday waste and sends your kids the right signal about living sustainably. Making just one small change this holiday season could make a big difference to the planet.

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Movie Choices for Kids - New Year's Eve, A Golden Christmas

2011-12-12 11:11:04

NEW YEAR’ EVER (Running time: approx. 118 minutes)
Rated PG-13 Starring Robert DeNiro, Halle Berry, Hilary Swank, Josh Duhamel, Sarah Jessica Parker, Jessic Biel, Zac Efron, Michelle Pfeiffer, Jon Bon Jovi, Katherine Heigl
Garry Marshall likes to make warm and fuzzy movies, like Valentine’s Day and this delightful creation, New Year’s Eve, is in the same vein. The stellar cast is broken into groups of two, creating small vignettes of what people are experiencing on New Year’s Eve. From babies being born to old men dying, from adults finding new love to teenagers finding puppy love a wide variety of scenarios are covered in this film. There is suspense as to who is going to end up with whom at the end of the movie. I was surprised by several plot twists and turns.
As usual with Mr. Marshall’s films, love is the main topic, in all forms, from parent to child, adult to adult to teen to teen. Giving, forgiving, starting over, saying goodbye these are all themes he covers with humor and affection. I found the film heartwarming, a perfect holiday movie to see with your ‘tweens and teens age 11 and up. There was no violence, no sex, some kissing and a couple of bad words.
The scenes of New York at Christmas time are beautiful, including the giant toy soldiers on Park Avenue, FAO Schwarz, all the lights and Times Square on New Year’s Eve. This is a charming film that will make you laugh and cry and feel good when it’s all over.
Since the movies for kids is limited this week, I’ve reviewed a straight-to-DV D Christmas movie available on Netflix.
A GOLDEN CHRISTMAS (90 minutes)
Not Rated Starring Andrea Roth, Nicholas Brendon
This is a sweet and charming family movie that isn’t truly about Christmas, it takes place at Christmas. The opening moments show two children, a boy and a girl, who are best friends playing in the woods with the boy’s golden retriever. They take their prize possessions, trinkets they found and put them in an old lunch box and bury it as a time capsule.
The movie then cuts to the present. We meet Jessica (Roth) and her son who drive to visit her parents for Christmas. Jessica’s husband died three years earlier and only now is she strong enough to return home with the hopes of buying her parent’s home. Hoping to surprise them with her offer, she is the one who is surprised when they tell her they’ve already sold their home.
Jessica is distraught and schemes for ways to sabotage the sale to Michael (Brendon). They duel it out for a while and she behaves badly. We learn that she’s the little girl and Michael is the little boy in the beginning of the film. The rest of the movie unfolds slowly as Michael’s present day golden retriever, an almost mystical creature, takes him back to where the kids carved their names in a tree and buried their precious box.
There is no violence, sex or bad language in this movie. It’s a sweet story about loss, recovery and family, more adult than for young children. Watch it with your ‘tweens and teens. I enjoyed this lovely, predictable, gentle holiday movie, streaming on Netflix.

Wake Forest mom is finalist in IKEA's life improvement contest

2011-12-11 21:22:06

When Wake Forest mom Melissa Matthews was 18 weeks pregnant, she found out her baby had Down Syndrome. From that moment, the former kindergarten teacher says she worried about how her child would transition to school, a concern that turned out to be well-founded as she hit many roadblocks to getting him to a place where he could flourish. But now that her son, Aidan, is 3 years old, she speaks with joy about his achievements and his love of school, and she's hoping that by winning an IKEA contest, she can help other children like him feel as happy about learning.

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Triangle offers free weekend holiday family fun

2011-12-08 10:52:42

Ready for some free weekend holiday family fun? You'll find lots of free events across the Triangle, from story times to holiday parades, complete with marching bands, floats, dancing elves and Santa.

Celebrate an 1870 Christmas by candlelight at the historic Duke Homestead, in Durham, or munch on cookies with Santa at SmartMomma, in Raleigh. Many events feature free goodies, like hot apple cider or hot chocolate.

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Keep tots away from glass-fronted fireplaces

2011-12-08 10:50:49

A family gathered around a fireplace looks like a picture-perfect holiday setting, but if there's a toddler near a glass-fronted fireplace in the scene, serious injury could ensue.

The glass that covers fireplaces can reach temperatures of 400 degrees and is at a height curious toddlers can reach, according to Fairwarning.org, a news service that today released a disturbing investigative report on toddler burns due to fireplace glass. Since 1999, more than 2,000 children ages 5 and under have been burned from fireplace glass, according to a federal estimate reported by Fairwarning.org.

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Kids' wish lists reflect recession, Santa finds

2011-12-07 10:44:05

Are you feeling the pinch of the recession this holiday season? So are kids. They're downsizing their wish lists to Santa, according to the Associated Press, which says these days children are asking Santa for a job for mom or dad or heating for their home.

But good can emerge from hardship, and parents seem to be spearheading that positive outlook. See where you can enjoy free holiday events in the Triangle.

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Santa's high-tech secrets revealed

2011-12-06 11:35:12

Are your kids beginning to ask very tricky Santa questions? How does Santa deliver all those toys in one night? How does he figure out exactly what each child wants for Christmas? How does he fit down the chimney? And how can he possibly eat all those cookies set out for him across the world?

It turns out that Santa is a techie and uses the latest science to stay efficient. We know this because a research team led by Dr. Larry Silverberg, of North Carolina State University, undertook a visiting scholars program at Santa's North Pole Laboratories. What's he's discovered at the North Pole could make our world a better place, from faster deliveries to more sustainable living. Here's a look inside Santa's bag of high-tech tricks:

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Sign-ups for Wake magnet schools start Dec. 5

2011-12-05 12:29:37

Interested in your child attending a Wake County Magnet school? Starting at 1 p.m. Dec. 5, you can log into Wake County Public School System's student assignment website to choose from a number of magnet school options based on your home address. The magnet selection period for the 2012-2013 year will run from today through the end of the day on Dec. 19.

The offerings are part of a new school choice student assignment process approved by the Wake County Board of Education after contentious debate between proponents of "neighborhood schools" and those who favor busing students for socio-economic diversity.

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Movie Choices for Kids - Arthur Christmas, holiday movie

2011-12-05 09:58:18

ARTHUR CHRISTMAS (Running time: approx. 97 minutes)
Rated PG Animated with the voices of James McAvoy, Hugh Laurie, Jim Broadbent, Bill Nighy
This computer animated comedy take on an old, familiar subject for children’s movies, how Christmas actually happens. We go to the North Pole which is totally computerized now, run by elves headed up by Steve (Laurie), Santa’s oldest son. The sleigh has been replaced by a space ship. We see elves landing by the dozen in cities and towns, sliding down cables, going into “stealth” mode to deliver gifts to children.
Then there is Santa’s other son, Arthur (McAvoy), who is a bumbler. Arthur handle letters; he receives children’s letters to Santa and responds to them telling them Santa is real. There is a slip-up and one little girl’s gift is not delivered. While Steve tries to convince Santa that one child doesn’t matter, Arthur is appalled. Grandsanta (Nighy) recruits Arthur, dusts off the old sleigh and they go on an adventure, trying to locate the little girl and deliver her gift from Santa.
The journey is funny with Grandsanta an irreverent old guy. Arthur I scared but goes along. The trip also symbolizes Arthur’s coming-of-age, taking control and growing into the job of Santa, despite his pushy and controlling older brother. There were family issues here but not as extreme as is often the case. Arthur Christmas is a gentler movie than some and it’s fun and funny in parts. While smaller children may not understand everything going on, they will enjoy the eye-catching, colorful animation and the spirit of the movie.
This sweet movie has no violence, bad language or sex. It should be appropriate for kids age five and up who can sit through it without causing a ruckus. Parents will enjoy the humor, too.

CHRISTMAS MOVIE RECOMMENDATIONS
Since there was a shortage of new movies for kids, here are some holiday movie recommendations.There are plenty of Christmas movies out there and some are better to share with children than others. Here are a few I recommend:
The Santa Clause 2 - Although the first in this series is the best, the issues of child custody and divorce and the sadness they bring make it less appropriate for kid than the second one. This one I simply fun.
The Grinch Who Stole Christmas – Can’t recommend the Jim Carrey version, but I can recommend the old one, made when Dr. Seuss was still alive. It is simply the pictures from the book and someone reading the words. Hey, you can’t improve on this master so why try?
Classic Christmas Movies
Everyone know about Miracle on 34th Street, still the ultimate Santa Claus movie, or should! It’s 8a Wonderful Life is another classic that became part of our life. But have you watched Holiday Inn? The kids might like the colorful costumes and the Irving Berlin music, fantastic singing by Bing Crosby and dancing by Fred Astaire. This is where the song “White Christmas” first debuted. The film came out in 1942 and the movie, White Christmas, another great classic holiday movie with Bing Crosby, Rosemary Clooney and Danny Kaye to share with your children, was released in 1954.

Triangle weekend offers free holiday events

2011-12-02 10:48:35

Triangle towns are ringing in the holidays with lots of free weekend events designed to delight children of all ages and their parents. Enjoy parades, visits with Santa, tree-lighting ceremonies, sleigh, train and carriage rides, snow sledding and much more. Some holiday events offer a taste of Christmas past, and you'll find a great selection of family-friendly performances.

Beware of what's lurking in your child's juice

2011-12-02 10:44:56

Did you know that there are no federal standards limiting the amount of arsenic and lead levels in juice? I certainly assumed that juice, which is consumed by so many young children, would be regulated as is water. And there's more bad news.

Consumer Reports tested samples of apple and grape juice and found that 10 percent of the samples had total arsenic levels that exceeded federal drinking-water standards of 10 parts per billion (ppb) and 25 percent of the samples had lead levels higher than the Food and Drug Administration's (FDA) bottled-water limit of 5 ppb.

Inspire artistic expression and holiday cheer

2011-12-02 08:14:29

UPDATE: Congratulations to Emily Delikat, winner of the holiday-themed book collection mentioned in this month's post! We'll announce the winner of the art-themed books, music and Music Together class discount Dec. 30.

Congratulations to Paula Gibbs of Durham, winner of our November “Family Togetherness” giveaway. Paula won a family togetherness-themed selection of books and DVDs, as well as a ribbon/barrette maker kit, by posting her favorite childhood bonding bedtime story (Good Night Moon). Thanks to everyone else who posted a comment as well — we enjoyed walking down memory lane with you! Now on to this month’s post.

Inspire artistic endeavors
The December issue of Carolina Parent focuses on kids and the arts. I extended this theme through our December Book Nook, and I’d like to focus on it here as well. A survey recently commissioned by Primrose Schools found that more than half of U.S. children and adults have never received music education, and only a quarter of parents use music to enhance learning.

“There’s a disconnect between what we know about music education and what we’re doing about it,” says Angelo Pettis, local parenting expert and franchise owner of Primrose School of Heritage Wake Forest. “Parents can and should support their child’s development by starting musical activities at a young age.”

Music Together, an international early childhood music education program for children from birth through kindergarten, offers developmentally appropriate music and movement research-based classes for children and their parents and caregivers in more than 35 countries around the world. Music Together is offering the winner of our art prize giveaway this month a $50 gift card toward the 10-class tuition fee ($150) as well as the Family Favorites CD series, which includes and Family Favorites 1, Family Favorites 2 and Lullabies. This program and music offers a great way to introduce your children to the arts.

At the end of this post, tell us about how you have or plan to expose your child to music or art education — whether it’s painting, dancing, acting or another form of artistic expression. By commenting, you may win one of two December giveaways. (Read more about the prizes at the end of this post.)

Spread holiday cheer
Celebrate holiday traditions with New Seasons’ Record a Memory series, which includes Our Family: Christmas Memories ($15.99), in which you can not only write down but also record family traditions and favorite memories for future generations to read and hear. The book offers spaces for adding favorite Christmas photos, recipes and more. The Record a Memory series also includes Frosty the Snowman, so parents can record their voice reading the story. (We’re giving both of these away in this month’s contest.)

Encourage your children to spread holiday cheer to those in our community who are less fortunate by participating in local holiday fundraisers and events. Here are a few to consider:
• Millbrook Baptist Church Preschool Salvation Army Christmas Stocking Service Project collects stockings filled with toys for children in need. You can pick up stockings Dec. 5 from 9:15 a.m.-1:15 p.m. Monday-Friday before Dec. 5 and return the filled stockings Dec. 7 at 10 a.m. by having your child them under Millbrook’s tree during their Annual Warmth Tree Chapel. Parents are advised to help children select and purchase gifts to fill the stockings. Contact Suzanne Holleman at preschool.director@millbrookbaptistchurch.org or 919-876-4030 for info.
• The 31st annual Duke Children’s Card Program Collection features designs by young artists from the surrounding community. Holiday cards are on sale now with proceeds benefiting pediatric programs at Duke Children’s Hospital and Health Center.

Check out Bulletin Board in our December issue for more ways to encourage your children to give charitably during the holiday season.

Here's another way you can spread holiday cheer. Hoilday cake pops from EdibleGiftsPlus.com (prices vary). There are so many cute holiday treats at this site, you may have trouble deciding on which one to send to a friend or family member.

Political courage essay contest
The John F. Kennedy Library Foundation is now accepting submissions from U.S. high school students for its annual Profile in Courage Essay Contest, with a deadline of Jan. 7, 2012. The contest invites students to write about a political act of courage by a U.S. elected official who served during or after 1956.

The winner will be awarded a $5,000 cash prize and an additional $5,000 in a John Hancock Freedom 529 College Savings Plan. The student’s nominating teacher will be awarded a $500 John F. Kennedy public service grant, which he or she can apply toward school projects involving student leadership and civic engagement. Learn more at www.jfklibrary.org.

December giveaway:
This month we’re offering two giveaways. If you’d like to enter a random drawing for our holiday book selection, share your favorite childhood holiday memory with us below. The winner of that giveaway will be announced Dec. 15.

If you’d like to enter a random drawing for our art and music giveaway, share your child’s artistic talents with us below. The winner of that giveaway will be announced Dec. 30.

You may enter both drawings, but only win one. Good luck!

Art-themed books

The Artist Who Painted a Blue Horse by Eric Carle (Philomel Books, $17.99)
The Grand Plan to Fix Everything by Uma Krishnaswami (Atheneum Books for Young Readers, $16.99)
Van Gogh and the Post-Impressionists for Kids by Carol Sabbeth (Chicago Review Press, $17.95)
Wild & Wonderful Origami by Mari Ono and Roshin Ono (Cico Books, $19.95)
Ivy + Bean: Doomed to Dance by Annie Barrows and Sophie Blackall (Chronicle Kids, $14.99)
My First Ballet Class by Alyssa Satin Capucilli (Simon and Schuster, $9.99)
Artsy Babies Go Gaga for Dada! by Michelle Sinclair Colman (Tricycle Press, $6.99)
Star Time by Patricia Reilly Giff (Random House, $12.99)
Young Artists Draw Manga by Christopher Hart (Watson-Guptill Publications, $14.99)
American Girl: A Crafty Girl’s Planner (American Girl Publishing, $9.95)

Music that educates

$50 gift card toward Music Together's 10-class tuition fee of $150
Music Together’s Family Favorites CD series: Family Favorites 1, Family Favorites 2 and Lullabies ($14.99 each)
Beethoven’s Wig Featuring Richard Perlmutter: Sing Along Piano Classics ($9 to download in MP3 format; $12.18 for CD)
Music for Little People’s Buckwheat Zydeco’s Bayou Boogie ($14.99)

Holiday-themed books

New Seasons’ Record a Memory series includes Our Family: Christmas Memories ($15.99)
Drawing From Memory by Caldecott medal-winning Allen Say (Scholastic Press $17.99)
The Twelve Days of Christmas in North Carolina by Judy Stead (Sterling Press, $12.95)
The Carpenter’s Gift by David Rubel (Random House, $17.99)
The Only One Club by Jane Naliboff (Flashlight Press, $15.95)
Barbie: A Perfect Christmas, adapted by Marilyn Easton (Scholastic, $4.99)
The Christmas Genie by Dan Gutman (Simon and Schuster, $5.99)
Little Tree by e.e. cummings (Random House, $6.99)
The Night Before Christmas by Jan Brett (includes a DVD with music by the Boston Pops; G.P. Putnam’s Sons, $20)
Home for Christmas by Jan Brett (G.P. Putnam’s Sons, $17.99)
The Magical Christmas Horse by Mary Higgins Clark (Simon and Schuster, $17.99)
The Twelve Days of Christmas by Laurel Long (Dial Books, $16.99)

Rethinking Christmas

2011-12-02 06:56:52

Advent season marked the time I started curling my toes in church. As a kid, it always came as such a surprise that Sunday after Thanksgiving that we could begin talking about Christmas already. With thrilling anticipation, the pastor had my attention, knowing that presents were soon on the way.

But really he wasn't talking about those kind of presents, he was talking about the one big present, Jesus. Advent season meant lighting a candle each Sunday and preparing our hearts and minds for that amazing birthday party. Who doesn't love a party?

Christmas stopped becoming a joy when I became a grown up and realized all the wonder and magic was up to me. I was the one who would be shopping, cooking, cleaning, preparing. Along with that work, came the heavy guilt about all the expense, measuring up and giving enough. But was the wonder all up to me, really? Or did I simply decide that?

One of my favorite daily devotion websites is called "Following the Star" at www.d365.org. I think the author says it best when she writes:

"I step into this season with an open heart, O God. As I wait for you, surprise me with the hope of Christmas that will fill the empty places. Amen."

That is my prayer this season. I remember the child-like, toe-curling wonder of Advent, not for the presents, but for the open heart and the hope it brings. To remember that I can choose to focus on the guilt or I can choose to focus on the star.

New handle for infant car seats offers relief for moms

2011-11-29 11:21:28

Besides being a skilled chauffeur, psychologist, nurse, chef and maid, a mom also needs to be a weight lifter. At least, that's what I thought as I attempted to lift my babies in car seats from the car some years ago. My wrist ached, and it didn't help that I was already exhausted from giving birth and being sleep deprived.

Finally, some local researchers are working on helping weary moms and dads. Engineers at North Carolina State University have developed a new handle for infant car seats (ICSs) that makes it easier for parents to lift the seat out of a car – while keeping a firmer grip on the handle – making it less likely that the seat will be dropped.

State Capitol rings in holiday season with Ashe County Fraser fir

2011-11-28 09:38:31

The North Carolina State Capitol, in Raleigh, honors its natural traditions and Tar Heel heritage with the delivery of a 24-foot Christmas tree from Ashe County on Monday, Nov. 28. The tree comes from Peaks Farms, a family-owned and operated enterprise, located between Jefferson and Laurel Springs.

A flatbed truck is expected to deliver the tree to Raleigh, where it will be installed on the south plaza of the Capitol grounds and can be viewed the length of Fayetteville Street.

The governor and first gentleman will officially light the tree on Dec. 8, in a ceremony that starts at 5 p.m. If you're looking to catch more tree lightings, parade and Santa visits, visit our roundup of holiday fun.

Tips to help kids & adults eat healthy during the holidays

2011-11-28 09:25:24

'Tis the season for delicious turkey and dressing, cookies and pies. We've enjoyed gathering with family around the Thanksgiving table, but with Christmas, Hanukkah and Kwanzaa just around the corner, you might be wondering how to savor the rest of the holidays without over-indulging.

If you're looking to avoid more weight gain, consider these tips for adults and children from Phil and Amy Parham, contestants of NBC's TheBiggest Loser, season six.. In their new book, "The Amazing Fitness Adventure For Your Kids," by Harvest House Publishers, they offer suggestions for healthy eating during the holidays through simple lifestyle changes.

Movie Choices for Kids - The Muppets, Hugo

2011-11-28 07:10:47

THE MUPPETS (Running time: approx. 98 minutes)
Rated PG Starring Jason Segel, Amy Adams, Chris Cooper
I loved this movie, a true family comedy! Walter, a Muppet, and Gary (Segel) are brothers. Gary takes his girlfriend, Mary (Adams) from Smalltown, where they live, to Los Angeles on a sightseeing trip and Walter tags along. The first place they visit is the Muppet Theater because Walter loves the Muppets so much.
While at the Muppet Theater, they learn of a plot by a rich oilman (Cooper) to buy the theater, tear it down and drill for oil. Walter is horrified and so he, Gary and Mary track down Kermit the Frog who brings the Muppets together for one last show to raise money to save the theater. The movie has wonderful music and glorious dancing, too.
One by one the old characters are revisited and recruited. Then we see the show. There are hilarious bumps along the way and laughs galore in this lovely movie, that is truly for children, who will understand most of what’s going on, even younger ones. The charm of the Muppets has not worn thin; they are still delightful, enchanting and entertaining. All our favorites are there, Miss Piggy, The Swedish Chef, Bunsen Honeydew and Beaker, Ralph, Scooter, Fozzie Bear, Gonzo, Statler and Waldorf, the Chickens and so on.
There is no real violence, sex or bad language but a touch of bathroom humor. The Muppets is a “don’t miss” movie not only for children from four to twenty-four but for parents as well. If you don’t see it, you’re missing one of the best movies of the year.
HUGO (Running time: approx. 2 hours 7 minutes)
Rated PG Starring Ben Kingsley, Sacha Baron Cohen, Asa Butterfield
This dark, beautiful movie is not for younger kids though the rating is PG. It’s a touching story about a young orphan boy, Hugo (Butterfield), living in a Paris train station in 1925. His father was a clock maker and fixer of things. When he died, the boy’s uncle, in charge of winding the clock in the station, took in the boy. He taught the lad how to wind the clocks so he wouldn’t have to, gave him a bed in the station, then disappeared.
Hugo maintained the clock and continued to live there, pilfering food and hiding from the gendarme (Cohen) who patrols the station with a Doberman Pinscher. Hugo has a run-in with an older man (Kingsley) who sells toys at a small shop. The man’s granddaughter and Hugo become friends and he shows her his secret hiding places and how to sneak into the movies.
I can’t say enough about the charm of the location, the sets and the supporting characters in this movie. You feel the flavor of the times as you are pulled into the lives of these characters. There is no violence, sex or bad language here simply a strong, complex story well told. The movie is too long, complicated and too adult in theme for younger children. Scenes where an orphaned boy is thrown in a cage and hauled off to the orphanage might be frightening to children under the age of eleven or twelve. But for older children and adults, Hugo is a magical journey into the past.

Family Fun Shows, Exhibits & Events for Kids in Raleigh, Durham & Chapel Hill

2011-11-22 23:26:50

If your family is visiting over the Thanksgiving holiday, why not head out to explore fun things to do around the Triangle? Visit our Thanksgiving Guide to find family-friendly shows and exhibits. See our roundup of fun for kids in Raleigh, Durham and Chapel Hill, and if you're headed to the movies, check Jean's Movie Choices for Kids to see what's appropriate for your tot, tween or teen and what's worth watching.

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Making Memories in Pullen Park

2011-11-21 13:12:07

Like most parents, I feel that the reopening of Pullen Park is worthy of celebration because it returns a favorite destination to the children of our community. During my son’s first year of life, I took him to there as often as I could. Our outings to the park forged many special memories for me that collectively tell the story of many of Sam’s first experiences. He had his very first train ride there, had his first foray into the joys of a playground, and got to ride on a hard-carved giraffe when he took his first spin on the historic Dentzel carousel. Just after Sam’s first birthday, however, we had to bring an end to those regular excursions while the Raleigh landmark closed to undergo renovations. With its reopening this November, the adventures can continue and Sam can begin creating his own memories of the park.

I have reason to believe that Pullen Park could the place where many children in our community forge memories. I study memory development in childhood as a doctoral candidate in Developmental Psychology at North Carolina State University. For several years, I have collected narratives of children’s memories by interviewing them about their earliest experiences. As many people might expect, this collection of narratives includes memories of unique experiences, including family vacations, birthday parties, and holidays. However, the memory narratives also describe everyday moments, such as playing with mom or dad, having a disagreement with a sibling, or painting a picture. What I found most interesting is that for some of the children in the study, their earliest memories were born out of an experience at Pullen Park. From feeding the ducks and riding the train to the typical bumps and bruises of childhood, these memories reflect the experiences of the children of Raleigh. Although each trip to the park must come to an end, the memories created from those experiences become part of a child’s personal history.

The memories children share of their experiences at Pullen Park provide an important lesson; we don’t have to engineer the memories of childhood. Although a trip to Disney World may give rise to special memories that remain across time, many of our memories are made in the moments that comprise an average day, with our community often providing the backdrop of those enduring times. The memories we collect through childhood and beyond forge our unique autobiography, and for the children of Raleigh, that collection of memories may be built upon what remains of a day at Pullen Park. The reopening of the park this November ensured that another generation of children will have the opportunity to make those childhood memories. The much-anticipated return of the Holiday Express, which runs from Dec. 8 to Dec. 11, will undoubtedly bring a host of families to the park for the making of those memories. Of course, I can’t help but wonder if a train ride around Pullen Park, wrapped in the excitement of the holiday season and the chill of a Raleigh winter, will remain with Sam through time as one of his earliest memories.

Written by Becky Siceloff, a doctoral candidate in the Memory and Development Lab at N.C. State University who frequented Pullen Park with her son, Sam, when he was just 1-year-old. Her dissertation research on children's earliest memories, which she defends this month, keeps her wondering about what will become his earliest memory.

Eight reasons I want to be a pilgrim mom

2011-11-21 11:59:19

Despite the hardship, the disease and the fact that they spent 66 days on a cargo ship without a shower, eating bug infest biscuits … there are actually aspects of pilgrim life that I envy. Sound crazy, friends? Well, read on and find out why.

1. EAT YOUR HEART OUT. The feast in 1621 was said to have lasted for 3 WHOLE DAYS (resulting in our Thanksgiving weekend). And to think — eating for 3 days straight with no interventions suggesting the upcoming Biggest Loser season or a hint to “up” your Zoloft prescription.

2. ROLE REVERSAL. You’ll love this. In the Pilgrim tradition, it was the children who served the parents at every meal. Now wouldn’t you just love to have a chat with the ding-dong who changed those rules somewhere in the last 400 years?

3. LESS NAGGING. No need to harp on the children to use their utensils at the table. Apparently, the fork was nonexistent at that time so the whole crew feasted using only their hands. I say we all try this at Thanksgiving!

4. NO BAD HAIR DAYS. No siree. No worries over sneaking away to the salon before the holidays when you wear a coif (bonnet) each day. In fact, pilgrim moms say it even kept their hair clean — which would eliminate my need for $20 dry shampoo.

5. DRESS CODE. Boys and girls wore dresses until they were 7 years old. Now this is exciting, folks … the stress from coordinating the boy/girl outfits for the family christmas pictures always makes me want to jump from high places.

6. CELEB STATUS. If you think about it, Pilgrims are famous. They have their own holiday. We dress like them (well, in plays in November) and they will forever be in the history books. And to think … they never even had to appear on Jersey Shore or TMZ to get that way.

7. NO COUCH POTATOES. There was no such thing as a lazy teenager (or husband) on Thanksgiving day. Instead of slipping into those pants with the elastic waistband and plopping down in front of the tube, the Pilgrims headed outdoors to play sports. Pepcid, be gone!

8. DIRTY SECRETS. Since hygiene wasn’t a priority, neither was shaving your legs. Rejoice, my friends! And really, who was going to see your legs anyway under stockings, 2 layers of petticoats, a waistcoat & an apron.

There you have it. Not a bad gig. Now, where do you think I can find a coif in toile?

Written by Stephanie, of Southern MOMentum, a collaboration of sleep-deprived, Gen X gals who started out as friends and became grounded together in a wonderfully, challenging journey called motherhood ... some Southern by birth and others, transplants, who fell in love with front porch swings and sweet tea. Each mom contributes her unique blend of witty, realistic approaches by encouraging moms to put away their SuperMom cape and enjoy the journey of motherhood!

Tips for Talking To Children about Sexual Abuse

2011-11-21 10:52:51

The appalling sexual abuse situation at Penn State University troubles all of us. The thoughts of parents inevitably turn to their children – wondering if they have educated and protected them sufficiently, and worrying if they will be able to recognize the signs of abuse if such a horror were to befall their child. We’d like to offer a few suggestions about preparing and protecting children.

Although we at the Lucy Daniels Center are understood to be the “experts” in the emotional health of children, we are nevertheless modest about “expert” wisdom. “You’ve probably read advice on what to say to children, such as about “good touch and bad touch.” Unfortunately, the situation is never as simple as it might seem. For example, not all sexual abuse feels bad or even wrong to a child, so the “good” and “bad” touch dichotomy may not always pertain. Furthermore, parents must walk a delicate balance between preparing a child to recognize predators and prematurely introducing them to a sense that the world is an unpredictable and dangerous place.

Parents must seek the best way to tell their child that some adults might act in ways that are very wrong without creating anxiety that interferes with their child’s sense of safety in the world. Children need to know that when adults do bad things, it’s right to reject these bad deeds and to tell their parents or other trusted adults what has happened.

At the same time, children may or may not be able to control the actions of adults, and we certainly don’t want to leave them feeling that if they submit to an adult (and they may well have no choice), that it was their fault for allowing such contact that their parents have told them is inappropriate.

Much more important is that they feel that they can come to their parents with any concern or event that occurs. The best way that parents can guarantee that their children will approach them in the event that they are preyed upon is to create a much more generalized parent-child climate where children feel respected and believed. In this setting, even if children misbehave and discipline is in order, parents would also recognize (although not necessarily condone) their motivations and point of view. Parents would not use shaming as a mode of discipline. They would respect their children’s body themselves, including eschewing all forms of corporal punishment (which is, after all, just a socially condoned expression of the rights of ownership and use of another’s body).

Many of our columns over the years in Carolina Parent have addressed this issue of respectful relationships; we commend them to your attention if you would like more information about establishing the kinds of relationship that would allow a child to feel safe to come to parents with the overwhelmingly frightening, shameful, and guilt-ridden news that they have been preyed upon. Look for more information and advice on this issue in January’s Ask Lucy Daniels column.

Mental Health Matters! is written by clinical staff at the The Lucy Daniels Center for Early Childhood in Cary, the largest and most comprehensive non-profit agency providing children's mental health services in the Triangle. The Center is devoted to promoting the healthy emotional development of young children through its preschool and kindergarten programs, mental health services, and outreach programs including Lucy's Book Club.

Movie Choices for Kids - Happy Feet 2, Twilight: Breaking Dawn, Part One

2011-11-21 09:38:28

HAPPY FEET 2 (Running time: approx. 1 hour 30 minutes)
Rated PG Animated with the voice of Elijah Wood, Robin Williams, Pink, Hank Azaria, Matt Damon, Brad Pitt
I was looking forward to this movie and am sorry to say I was grossly disappointed. Back to Antarctica but nothing about the environment or real nature information. No, we got unrealistic situations, like elephant seals befriending penguins. Elephant seals eat penguins. The movie started off well with tap dancing and then bogged down into a heavy father/son plot. Then there was the puffin pretending to be a penguin that could fly. And the puffin and penguin that were rescued by man and the elephant seal too stubborn to back up who fell into a ravine and was rescued by a penguin. And the krill, one who didn’t want to swarm and one who did and the penguins getting trapped by ice. But the movie totally lost me when the tiny penguin son breaks into an operatic aria in defense of his father and trying to convince the elephant seals to help the trapped penguins.
The music was the best part of the movie and there wasn’t enough of that. Too many subplots to keep track of, a father who felt guilty over some insensitivity toward his son, jealousy, and voices from various nationalities, including Swedish, Hispanic, British, Australian and sometimes simply unintelligible!
There were a few scary moments when the leopard seal was chasing the father penguin. That were scary but mostly it was disjointed, hard to follow and boring. Will kids like it? Probably. The 3-D was fun; the animation was terrific, beautifully done. Is this a bad movie for kids? No, no bad language or sex. So you can send the kids ages 5 and up. My advice is rope grandma into taking them; you must have something better to do at home.
TWLIGHT: BREAKING DAWN, PART ONE (Running time: approx. 117 minutes)
Rated PG-13 Starring Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner
What can I say about Bella and Edwards wedding? It was beautiful and their honeymoon was tastefully done. The teens and ‘tweens in the audience cheered their favorites and were responsive to things happening. The bedroom torn to shreds after their wedding night elicited laughs from the audience.
There is drama, the plot is a bit confusing but if you’ve read the books you can probably follow along fine. I admit to loving the main characters and when the werewolves change into wolves. They are such beautiful creatures!
The movie has the obligatory fight between the werewolves and the vampires, which I find the least interesting part! I like the interaction between the characters and the vamp “family” and how they cope with life, considering their challenges. The movie is well made, romantic and sweet. Now with the threat to Bella’s life it took on new drama and tension and left us hanging a bit at the end, anxious to see what the next installment will bring.
There is violence, blood, no bad language and scenes of sensuality and implied sex. The movie is best for ‘tweens twelve and up, though if you have a child into this series, I don’t know how you will be able to keep them away.

Put safety at the top of your holiday to do list

2011-11-20 21:36:33

With the holidays fast approaching, we've got more to do than we can realistically get done. Between the baking, shopping and cleaning, safety sometimes takes a backseat, and those we care for could be at risk.

The Juvenile Products Manufacturers Association (JPMA) is offering parents a timely reminder that although baby gear products are convenient and portable, parents should take precautions to avoid dangerous falls and accidents by using the products only as directed.
With the holidays fast approaching, we've got more to do than we can realistically get done. Between the baking, shopping and cleaning, safety sometimes takes a backseat, and those we care for could be at risk.

The Juvenile Products Manufacturers Association (JPMA) is offering parents a timely reminder that although baby gear products are convenient and portable, parents should take precautions to avoid dangerous falls and accidents by using the products only as directed.

Read more ...

Triangle weekend brings old-fashioned family fun

2011-11-17 22:55:28

Get ready for a weekend of old-fashioned family fun in the Triangle. Enjoy a holiday parade that heralds the arrival of Santa. Celebrate the reopening of Pullen Park, complete with its restored antique carousel. Step back in time to learn about a Mongol warrior and see a mummy as the N.C. Museum of Natural Sciences unveils its newest offering "Genghis Khan: The Exhibition." And head to the free American Indian Heritage Celebration at the N.C. Museum of History to enjoy performances and hands-on workshops and crafts.

Nature lovers of all ages will find lots of weekend activities in our Daily Calendar. And if you're looking to help families in the Triangle, don't miss the Junior League of Durham and Orange counties' holiday market. Headed to the movies? Check Jean's Movie Choices for Kids to see what's appropriate for your child and worth watching. Unless otherwise listed, you'll find details of these events in our Daily Calendar.

Food fight in Congress over school lunches

2011-11-16 13:16:19

There's a food fight going on in Congress over our kids' school lunches, and it looks like the pizza and french fries fans are going to win over the veggie proponents.

Where are the grown-ups? Well, they seem to be in two opposing camps: Those backed by the potato, frozen pizza and salt industry and those who make their living in science, medicine and health, as well as a group of retired generals.

Read more ...

That's a Wrap

2011-11-15 06:23:32

Holidays were simply not meant for women’s relaxation. In most households, shopping, gift wrapping, decorating, and holiday cooking are the ‘responsibility’ of the woman (as if childbearing wasn’t enough). Sure, I still look forward to the holidays and get caught up in the spirit, but I’ve also found that the older I get, the more relieved I am when the holidays are over and things can get back to normal. I’m definitely not a Grinch, but sometimes the hectic pace of it all is overwhelming.

I remember a TV commercial when I was a kid with the tag line “Shop in November and relax in December.” When I heard that, I used to think it was a wonderful suggestion, great advice to enjoy the holidays instead of rushing all over the place at the last minute. I had no idea then what an utterly ridiculous concept it would be for me once I had a family. Believe it or not, I’ve tried to live by that tag line: several years I’ve started buying gifts in mid-October but inevitably my efforts stall for some reason and there is a shopping lull between October and early December. My goal each year is simply to not wind up at the 24-hour Wal-Mart on Christmas Eve, frantically looking for last-minute presents. You haven’t seen true panic until you’ve looked into the eyes of your fellow shoppers on the night before Christmas when even Snuggies and Chia Pets start looking like perfect gifts.

Storing and hiding presents is also a challenge at our house, which is another reason I think I find myself procrastinating each year. Closet and attic space is hard to come by. What in the world am I going to do with all the gifts once I buy them? Sometimes I have to put something in such an unorthodox hiding place, that even I forget what I did with it. There have been many past Christmas Eves when I find myself going on scavenger hunts throughout my house, trying to find items like DVDs and Power Ranger toys that I hid several weeks earlier.

Things have gotten easier now that my youngest son, Jason, 11, is properly informed about the whole Santa Claus thing. I knew he had his suspicions about the jolly man in the red suit for a few years, but last year was the first time it was officially known that Jason knew The Truth. When he was still a Santa believer, I had to take precautions that I didn’t slip up in my Santa duties. For instance, I didn’t want to buy one of my older sons a gift while Jason was with me and then forget and later have the gift be from Santa. And if Jason happened to catch a glimpse of a gift in the depths of my closet before Christmas, I’d have to make sure the gift would be from my husband and me rather than from Santa. And it’s so much easier – although it does take some of the fun out of it – to go ahead and buy an item Jason wants when we see it on sale rather than me having to rush back later and buy it for the mysterious Santa list.

Before knowing the Truth About Santa Claus (or TASC, as I affectionately call it), my third and youngest son provided some magic at Christmas that had disappeared since his older brothers had been little. Since there are six years between Jason and my middle son, it was refreshing to relive Christmas through the eyes of a child again --- a child who still didn’t know the TASC. It was fun to have another little boy in my house leaving Santa milk and cookies and getting excited about the radio ‘reports’ that Santa had been spotted flying over New York and was on his way south. Christmas mornings are much more fun with a little one running around.

After the little one knows the Truth About Santa Claus, it’s less hectic for the parents but a bit sad. I nostalgically think of all those holiday mornings when the boys were young, and I get teary-eyed when I watch videos of those days. All too soon even my youngest will be following in the footsteps of his oldest brother, now a college junior, who simply emails me links to the Christmas presents he wants. Of course, my oldest is 6 feet 6 with size 16 shoes, so we have to shop for all his clothes on-line since the stores don’t stock his size. Playing Santa certainly changes over the years.

The tradition in our house is for the gifts from Santa to be displayed unwrapped on sofas and chairs in the family room, creating a Toyland lying in wait for the kids who run downstairs in their pajamas. My boys have always loved this, so for someone like me who hates to wrap presents, this is a win-win situation. I still wrap gifts to the boys from my husband and me and lots of gifts to other family members, despite my dislike and lack of talent for gift wrapping. Cutting, taping, trying to figure out what to do with that extra paper that sticks over the side. It gets on my nerves – always has. When my son David joined the band in middle school, my first thought was ‘Oh, my God, I will have to do that fundraiser in the mall where the parents wrap presents and there’s a line a mile long’. Thank goodness his band didn’t take part in that fundraiser.

So I procrastinate in wrapping the presents, resulting in a chaotic all-day wrapping bonanza a few days before Christmas. Even when I manage to wrap the presents, they never look very good. Not like presents wrapped by my sisters that always have flowing ribbons and color-coordinated paper, all tightly wrapped with even folds and corners. My wrapped gifts always have too many bumps and lumps, crooked folds, and too much tape.

Once when I took Billy and David, then ages 7 and 4, to a friend’s birthday party, the father of the birthday boy looked at the present I’d wrapped and said, smiling, “Oh, which one of you boys wrapped this?” I felt my face turn red. Before they could answer, “Mom did,” I said, “We all sort of did,” and then totally changed the subject. This was a way to save face without out and out lying, I rationalized. But by child number three, I’ve learned to throw the present in one of those gift bags and not worry about it.

There were times when my boys were younger, that I would lie about this gift-wrapping deficiency of mine. I’d be embarrassed about giving my in-laws presents so shoddily wrapped so I’d hand them the gift and add, “The boys wanted to help wrap it,” which they always thought was cute and would explain the poor wrapping job. It worked until the boys were old enough to refute my story. I now read there’s a business in the UK called CrapWrap that actually charges fees to wrap gifts like a man would so that female gift recipients will think their man wrapped it himself instead of his sister or some woman in a department store. Damn. A missed business opportunity for me – I could have made millions.

While the women do most of the shopping and wrapping, men pitch in when it comes to putting up the tree and hanging the outdoor lights. This is an especially challenging task when our next-door neighbors raised the bar in our neighborhood for outdoor decorations, even outlining their steep roof with strings of multi-colored lights (this is the same family who puts up orange lights and spider webs at Halloween, prompting me to ask my neighbor – “What are you trying to do, kill me, woman?? I can barely remember to buy candy”).

Holidays involve a lot of sacrificing for the ones we love, and nobody does that more than parents do. In the end, it’s worth it, though, when we sit beside them at the holiday services, hearing their voices rise with the notes of the songs and seeing the flickering candlelight dance on their faces, reminding us briefly of the toddlers they used to be as they bounded into the living room on Christmas morning, their eyes sparkling with unbridled joy.

I must leave you with my often-told Christmas memory when my son David was in the first grade and his class was planning to sing Christmas songs at a local nursing home. The day before the performance, he wanted me to listen to him practice, which I did. “We Wish You a Merry Christmas” was rolling right along until he hit the verse about the pudding. His innocent voice took a sharp, demanding turn: “Now bring us some friggin’ pudding, now bring us some friggin’ pudding.”

“No, no, no,” I interrupted. “It’s figgy pudding. Figgy, figgy, figgy.” I guess figs weren’t a very common pudding in the minds of first graders like chocolate or banana would be. Good thing I stopped that rendition of a holiday favorite.

O’Donnell is the mom of three sons — ages 20, 17 and 11 — and is surrounded by testosterone in her home with her husband, sons and male long-haired dachshund. You will find her blog here monthly and can read more about her at www.momsofboys.org. O’Donnell’s humor book, House of Testosterone, was published by Houghton Mifflin in 2008. A columnist for The Cary News for 12 years, she has also written for Good Housekeeping and Better Homes & Gardens.

Movie Choices for Kids - J. Edgar, Jack and Jill

2011-11-14 08:31:22

J. EDGAR (Running time: approx. 137 minutes)
Rated R Starring Leonardo DiCaprio, Naomi Watts, Armie Hammer, Judi Dench
I don’t usually review “R” rated movies but after seeing “The King’s Speech” I realized some “R” movies have value for older kids. This movie is one of those exceptions. The “R” rating here is simply for a little bad language, including the “eff” word said once. This biopic is not only the personal bio of J. Edgar Hoover, head of the F.B. I. for a long time, but the bio of that institution as well.
The film starts out when Mr. Hoover was a young man working for the Justice Department and the Bolsheviks were bombing the homes of prominent government officials, including Mr. Palmer, head of the early F.B.I. Palmer appoints Hoover, a serious man who builds the F.B.I. from a weak arm of the Justice Department to a mighty crime fighting institution.
Along the way the film examines Hoover’s personal life, his close, dependent relationship with his mother(Dench) and his long standing homosexual relationship with his number two in command at the F.B.I., Clyde Tolson (Hammer). I learned much from the film, for example, the fact that under Hoover, the F.B.I. started the first large forensics lab and information gleaned from that lab was used to catch the Lindberg baby’s kidnapper. Hoover changed the bureau dramatically, raising standards and arming agents.
The film also chronicled Hoover’s increasing hunger for power and the illegal means he used to attempt to control people, amassing huge files on prominent figures and people he felt were threats to the country. J. Edgar Hoover was a complex man, a bit paranoid he valued loyalty above all else, having one trusted secretary, Helen Gandy (Watts) for his entire career at the F.B. I. She was the only person he gave access to his private files and she was the one who destroyed them when he died. He struggled to surpress his feelings for Mr. Tolson, knowing they would displease his mother who was a strong influence in his life.
What I liked about the movie was the sense of history, the differing times, the various presidents and others in positions of power who tangled with Hoover and the even-handedness I felt in his portrayal.
There is violence, some bad language, a scene where two men kiss briefly but no other overtly sexual scenes, simply innuendo. I was riveted to the screen by a great script, great performances and a fascinating cinematic look at part of our history. J.Edgar, a Clint Eastwood movie, should be fine for ‘tweens and teens 12 and up. See it with your children, it’s a great film.
JACK AND JILL (Running time: approx. 91 minutes)
Rated PG Starring Adam Sandler, Katie Holmes, Al Pacino
What can I say about an Adam Sandler film with too much bathroom humor, the only objectionable part of this film, that ranged from silly to mean-spirited? The words “waste of time” and “harmless” come to mind. Sandler played an obnoxious girl it was hard to like and the brother who couldn’t stand her. Sandler times two was too much for me.
I will admit I laughed a few times and for kids, the movie will be entertaining as there is slapstick humor, too. Let kids 9 and up see it with grandma.

Movie Choices for Kids - Tower Heist, Like Crazy

2011-11-07 10:47:22

TOWER HEIST (Running time: approx. 104 minutes)
Rated PG-13 Starring Ben Stiller, Eddie Murphy, Casey Affleck, Alan Alda, Tea Leoni, Matthew Broderick
I was looking forward to this movie and I wasn’t disappointed. The premise of the movie is based on the Bernie Madoff scandal. Ben Stiller leads a group of employees of a luxury condo apartment building in New York City who have been swindled by one of the wealthy residents. Because the avengers are all law-abiding citizens who don’t know how to steal, they cut a local thief in on the plan.
There was a terrific cast of supporting characters of good guys and bad guys. The plot had several marvelous twists and turns that kept you guessing and a wonderful surprise ending. While this gang that couldn’t shoot straight was trying to pull off the heist, all sorts of funny things were happening to get in their way. Ben Stiller plays the straight man here and Eddie Murphy is hilarious as the con man/thief who becomes their teacher.
Although stealing isn’t a great idea, the movie managed to get across good messages. There was no violence, but some bad language and a little sexual innuendo. Tower Heist is a clever and entertaining movie that will keep you guessing. It should be fine for kids 11 and up who can get the gist of how a Wall Street investor can swindle people.

LIKE CRAZY (Running time: approx. 89 minutes)
Rated PG-13 Starring Anton Yelchin, Felicity Jones
This movie was advertised as a charming love story involving two college students from different countries. We have Anna (Jones) from England and Jacob (Yelchin) from the United States (Los Angeles) who meet at college. They fall in love and then have to face the difficulties of being separated halfway around the world from each other.
The early scenes of Anna and Jacob getting to know each other, clowning around at the beach, driving little hot rods at an amusement park and so on are delightful. This cute couple connects on an intellectual as well as physical level and the audience falls in love with them as they fall in love with each other.
The separations test their love and being only human, sometimes they fail the tests. At various times both of them get involved with other people and right in the beginning they break the rules regarding immigration for Anna because they cannot bear to be parted.
The breaking of the rule is the plot twist that drives the rest of the movie. Because of that misstep, they cannot get Anna over to the U.S. So Jacob travels to England. What was so touching was the way their love, though dormant for months, became alive again once they were together. The only disappointment was there was no real ending to this movie. It seemed to either peter out or get chopped off at the end instead of having some genuine resolution.
There was no violence, some bad language and a number of sexual scenes and situations though no nudity. Like Crazy is a captivating love story that needs a finish. It should be best for teens who are interested in learning about a love relationship and are not expecting a fast and witty movie.

Movie Choices for Kids - Puss 'n Boots, In Time

2011-10-31 08:52:45

PUSS ‘N BOOTS (Running time: approx. 90 minutes)
Rated PG Animated with the voices of Antonio Banderas, Salma Hayek, Zach Galifiankis
I was looking forward to this movie and was not disappointed. The story is good, the side characters, the actions of a macho cat too funny and the music was great. Puss (Banderas) is an outlaw because of his mistakes did years ago with his sidekick Humpty Dumpty (Galifianakis). Puss meets up with a female cat named, Kitty Softpaws(Hayek) who leads him to Humpty Dumpty. Humpty tries to recruit Puss in a plan to get Magic Beans and golden eggs. Puss wants to repay the town where he was adopted by Imelda, and raised as her “own”.
The plot gets a bit complicated with Jack and Jill and there is lots of fun as the bad guys pursue the quick cats who manage to escape every time. The underlying plot about friendship, betrayal and stealing are good and something children can understand. One strong point of this movie was that, while it had enough adult humor to keep me entertained, the plot was geared for children with no adult issues or themes to interfere. Such a nice change of pace!
There is a giant goose who terrorizes Puss’ home town and might be a little scary for very young children. There are no sexual scenes, bad language and though there is violence, no blood. I loved the blending of several children’s fairy tales and the creative way the story was told. The animation is spectacular and the humor delightful, even for adults. Puss ‘n Boots is a don’t miss movie for you and your kids ages six and up.

IN TIME (Running time: approx. 109 minutes)
Rated PG-13 Starring Justin Timberlake, Amanda Seyfried, Cillian Murphy
This futuristic sci fi thriller was face-paced, exciting and engrossing. The premise is that no one ages beyond age 25, physically. But that is all the time they have alive unless they work and can “buy” more time. There is no money in this world; time is the commodity of exchange. Of course you have the “rich” who have hundreds or thousands of years and the poor who live from day to day. The concept was intriguing.
Will Salas (Timberlake) lives and adores his mother, who looks great, because she hasn’t aged past twenty-five. That was a little weird, seeing everyone looking young. You couldn’t tell if a man was with his wife, his mother or his daughter! Will helps out a rich man who wants to die and gives the 116 years he has left to Will.
Will goes to the rich sector and meets Sylvia Weis (Seyfried), the daughter of one of the richest men in the land. He is pursued by police who think he stole the time. Will and Sylvia strike up a relationship and I must stop or be a spoiler. There are excellent messages in In Time about rich vs. poor and what you do with the time you have. There is violence, some blood, some bad language, including the F-bomb once, and several sexual situations, plus a wee touch of nudity, only from the back. In Time should be a good, provocative movie to see with your ‘tweens and teens ages 12 and up. I enjoyed it.

Loser 101

2011-10-28 07:25:41

Winning is overrated. Losing might be the new "it." Lately I have been watching a lot of losing at little league baseball. As a mom, I have run out of cheery things to say. But to truly appreciate winning, I think you need to lose a lot.

I see my son tap his pitcher on the head and give words of encouragement. He never would have done that before had he not known what it’s like to walk 20 batters in a row. I see him cheer his teammates on for the tiny victories, even though they may be down by 10 runs. He has come to know how important little things can be. Little things done well, strung together make a good game.

Then I see my kid throw a perfect pitch. He would not know it’s true perfection if he hadn’t thrown a lot of awful pitches. I watch him swagger back to the mound. I witness his confidence soar. Only he and I know how many afternoons we have spent throwing that ball back and forth. All those days where we mimicked plays, with pretend stress-filled moments. Mom was the umpire those days as I belted out my best impersonation of a passionate blue yelling “STRRRRRikeee.”

Now he hears the real thing.

Winning is sweet. But it’s in the losing that we come to know its taste. I think losing well takes more character and guts than winning with style. And that makes it not so bad after all.

Written by Cara McLauchlan, whose blog, Joy Goggles, celebrates the simple joys of life. It’s a chance to look at our days through “Joy Goggles” and discover the beauty in ordinary.