Eight reasons I want to be a pilgrim mom

2011-11-21 11:59:19

Despite the hardship, the disease and the fact that they spent 66 days on a cargo ship without a shower, eating bug infest biscuits … there are actually aspects of pilgrim life that I envy. Sound crazy, friends? Well, read on and find out why.

1. EAT YOUR HEART OUT. The feast in 1621 was said to have lasted for 3 WHOLE DAYS (resulting in our Thanksgiving weekend). And to think — eating for 3 days straight with no interventions suggesting the upcoming Biggest Loser season or a hint to “up” your Zoloft prescription.

2. ROLE REVERSAL. You’ll love this. In the Pilgrim tradition, it was the children who served the parents at every meal. Now wouldn’t you just love to have a chat with the ding-dong who changed those rules somewhere in the last 400 years?

3. LESS NAGGING. No need to harp on the children to use their utensils at the table. Apparently, the fork was nonexistent at that time so the whole crew feasted using only their hands. I say we all try this at Thanksgiving!

4. NO BAD HAIR DAYS. No siree. No worries over sneaking away to the salon before the holidays when you wear a coif (bonnet) each day. In fact, pilgrim moms say it even kept their hair clean — which would eliminate my need for $20 dry shampoo.

5. DRESS CODE. Boys and girls wore dresses until they were 7 years old. Now this is exciting, folks … the stress from coordinating the boy/girl outfits for the family christmas pictures always makes me want to jump from high places.

6. CELEB STATUS. If you think about it, Pilgrims are famous. They have their own holiday. We dress like them (well, in plays in November) and they will forever be in the history books. And to think … they never even had to appear on Jersey Shore or TMZ to get that way.

7. NO COUCH POTATOES. There was no such thing as a lazy teenager (or husband) on Thanksgiving day. Instead of slipping into those pants with the elastic waistband and plopping down in front of the tube, the Pilgrims headed outdoors to play sports. Pepcid, be gone!

8. DIRTY SECRETS. Since hygiene wasn’t a priority, neither was shaving your legs. Rejoice, my friends! And really, who was going to see your legs anyway under stockings, 2 layers of petticoats, a waistcoat & an apron.

There you have it. Not a bad gig. Now, where do you think I can find a coif in toile?

Written by Stephanie, of Southern MOMentum, a collaboration of sleep-deprived, Gen X gals who started out as friends and became grounded together in a wonderfully, challenging journey called motherhood ... some Southern by birth and others, transplants, who fell in love with front porch swings and sweet tea. Each mom contributes her unique blend of witty, realistic approaches by encouraging moms to put away their SuperMom cape and enjoy the journey of motherhood!

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Eight reasons I want to be a pilgrim mom