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Not in Kansas Anymore!

August 14, 2012 2:37 pm

OK, get ready for your first question on the Daddy-Daddy Pop Quiz: (And you can’t use the excuse that you didn’t know one was coming! No pun intended.) When did you first know, as a dad, that you were not in Kansas anymore, and whole world had changed forever?

Correct answer(s): During conception (truth be told, your mind was probably on other things). When you first found out. During the first ultrasound. While shopping for baby gear. During your nesting phase. During the birth. Bringing your new baby home. Or was it gradually over time with feedings, diaper changes, baths, etc.

Making the transition to fatherhood is a profound and fundamental shift for most guys. Not much is written or shared in the culture about the challenges for men during this time. While fatherhood can be filled with joy, it can also usher in a time of deep inner turmoil.

For the first time in your life, you may have very strong and confusing feelings of fear, worry, regret, abandonment, depression, insecurity, and anger, to name just a few. Face it, you go from being the center of your true love’s world, to being just one of three - and not even in the top two in immediate importance.

Whether you voice it or not, it is a big body blow for any man. It calls for massive adjustments and shifts in perspective. So, you are not in Kansas anymore. How you doing with your transition? Can you talk to your partner about how it’s going? Can you share the joys as well as the scarier stuff?

Next question on the Daddy-Daddy Pop Quiz: What should you do next? That answer is easy: Follow the yellow brick road. (And get ready for the adventure of a lifetime!)

Written by Tony Delmedico, LMFTA, a fully engaged co-parent for 5 (five!) girls ages 10 to16. He is a marriage and family therapist associate in the Triangle area, and can be found at www.tonydelmedico.com.



OK, get ready for your first question on the Daddy-Daddy Pop Quiz: (And you can’t use the excuse that you didn’t know one was coming! No pun intended.) When did you first know, as a dad, that you were not in Kansas anymore, and whole world had changed forever?

Correct answer(s): During conception (truth be told, your mind was probably on other things). When you first found out. During the first ultrasound. While shopping for baby gear. During your nesting phase. During the birth. Bringing your new baby home. Or was it gradually over time with feedings, diaper changes, baths, etc.

Making the transition to fatherhood is a profound and fundamental shift for most guys. Not much is written or shared in the culture about the challenges for men during this time. While fatherhood can be filled with joy, it can also usher in a time of deep inner turmoil.

For the first time in your life, you may have very strong and confusing feelings of fear, worry, regret, abandonment, depression, insecurity, and anger, to name just a few. Face it, you go from being the center of your true love’s world, to being just one of three - and not even in the top two in immediate importance.

Whether you voice it or not, it is a big body blow for any man. It calls for massive adjustments and shifts in perspective. So, you are not in Kansas anymore. How you doing with your transition? Can you talk to your partner about how it’s going? Can you share the joys as well as the scarier stuff?

Next question on the Daddy-Daddy Pop Quiz: What should you do next? That answer is easy: Follow the yellow brick road. (And get ready for the adventure of a lifetime!)

Written by Tony Delmedico, LMFTA, a fully engaged co-parent for 5 (five!) girls ages 10 to16. He is a marriage and family therapist associate in the Triangle area, and can be found at www.tonydelmedico.com.


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