The Best Bullying Prevention


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Bullying is a word that has almost lost its meaning because it has been used so often and under so many circumstances. That’s especially true online where cyberbullying is used to describe almost any interaction that makes adults uncomfortable, from flaming, gossip and pranks to impersonation, slander and threats.

In her new book, It’s Complicated, Hannah Boyd points out that “the language of bullying often presumes that there’s a perpetrator and a victim. By focusing on blaming the perpetrator and protecting the victim, well-intended adults often fail to recognize the complexity of most conflicts.” She suggests that parents avoid using the term “bullying” unless behavior meets three criteria identified by Swedish psychologist Dan Olweus:
Aggression. What’s the intent? Is the perpetrator trying to hurt or intimidate someone? Sometimes behavior that looks like bullying is actually a misguided attempt at humor or a response to stress.
Repetition. What’s the frequency? Even the nicest people hurt others on occasion because they are oblivious or under stress. Bullying involves repeating a behavior even after the perpetrator understands that it’s painful or damaging to another person.
Imbalance. Who has the power? Young people seem to understand that bullying involves disproportionate power — a stronger person picks on a weaker one precisely because he or she cannot fight back effectively. Research confirms that children are 63 percent more likely to be bullied if they have disabilities or perceived differences (such as being gay or overweight).

In situations that meet these criteria, adults must intervene because bullying has lasting consequences for everyone involved. Research shows that children who are bullied tend to be lonely, anxious and depressed. Children who become bullies are also likely to have underlying social and emotional problems that interfere with healthy relationships. Even children who witness aggression are vulnerable to emotional distress and anxiety.

Of course, Boyd acknowledges that online interactions that fall short of bullying can still be hurtful. Girls are more likely to participate in and be wounded by gossip and rumors — especially about looks and sexual behavior. Boys are more likely to participate in pranking and punking (insults and intimidation).

Online abuse has several unique features. Some people find it easier to be cruel when they don’t have to deal with direct consequences. Also, online humiliation can be deeper, because there are so many witnesses, and more long-lasting, because it’s difficult to eradicate cyber slurs. Online, the child who is behaving poorly may feel there is no risk of punishment, and the child who is tormented may feel there is no escape.

Parents must consistently reinforce two messages:
1. Cruel behavior is always unacceptable.
2. In difficult circumstances, healthy people stay focused on what they can control.

Boyd says kids who develop these five capacities are less likely to take out their feelings on others and less likely to become targets:
Self Awareness. Help your child recognize and reflect on her own feelings. Knowing she feels angry or sad, frustrated or vulnerable gives her more options.
Self Management. Children need help learning how to insert thought between feeling and action. A child who is able to calm himself and think through a problem is less likely to say or do cruel things and less likely to trigger hostility in others.
Social Awareness. From an early age, encourage your children to be respectful, tolerant and curious about people who are different in appearance, abilities, point of view or cultural background.
Relationship Skills. Research suggests that children are less likely to be unkind to others when they have high-quality friendships. For advice about helping kids develop strong friendships, go to parentingscience.com/kids-make-friends.html.
Decision Making. Help your child focus on what she can do. Redirect her attention to what’s positive. If necessary, limit contact with people who behave poorly by using the controls available in most social networks.

Carolyn Jabs raised three computer-savvy kids including one with special needs. Visit growing-up-online.com to read more of her columns.

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Calendar

April 2019

Join professional chefs at the Food Lion Kitchen Stage as they prepare recipes using the freshest ingredients and products from the Food Lion Family. Learn tips to make healthier and easier meals....

Cost: $10-$12/person

Where:
NC State Fairgrounds
1025 Blue Ridge Rd.
Raleigh , NC  27607
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Celebrate mythic arts with magicians and musicians, acrobats and comedians, artists and crafters, proud knights and fairytale creatures. All ages. Purchase tickets online. 

Cost: See website for fees

Where:
2908 Optimist Farm Rd.
Apex, NC
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Join Mindful Families of Durham, a Buddhist-inspired spiritual community that supports area parents, caregivers, and their children in the practice of mindfulness and the understanding of the...

Cost: Free

Where:
Erwin Road
Durham, NC  27705
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Sponsor: Mindful Families of Durham
Contact Name: Adam, Laura, Josh, Sumi
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Shop, sample and share the fun at the Triangle’s favorite event for women. Discover hundreds of boutiques filled with the latest fashions, trendy jewelry, gourmet treats, health and...

Cost: $10-$12

Where:
NC State Fairgrounds
1025 Blue Ridge Rd.
Raleigh, NC  26707
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Website »

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Ring in spring with Topper the Bunny on the farm with this festive egg hunt featuring entertainment and activities for all ages. Meet Topper and pose for Easter photos, and see him drop eggs...

Cost: $10 Topper's Pass (includes egg hunt); $5 Chickee Pass (egg hunt not included)

Where:
Hubb's Farm
10276 N US 421 Hwy
Clinton, NC  28328
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Sponsor: HubbsFarm
Telephone: 910-564-6709
Contact Name: Tammy Peterson
Website »

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Take your favorite lady and enjoy stage performances, giveaways and activities. All ages.

Cost: $10-$12

Where:
NC State Fairgrounds
1025 Blue Ridge Road
Raleigh , NC  27607
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Telephone: (704) 494-7563
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Celebrate the local craft beverage community while raising funds for Animal Protection Society of Durham at the 2nd annual Pints For Paws Craft Beverage Festival on Sunday, April 14, from 12-4 PM....

Cost: $10-$60

Where:
Durham Central Park
501 Foster Street
Durham, NC  27701
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Sponsor: Animal Protection Society of Durham
Telephone: 919-560-0640 ext. 23
Contact Name: Darlene Fiscus
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Cary’s popular food truck rally also features music from local performers.

Cost: Free

Where:
Downtown Cary
, NC  27511


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Enjoy free candy for all children through grade 5. 

Cost: Free

Where:
Grace Bible Fellowship
9043 Chapel Hill Road
Cary, NC  27513
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Sponsor: Grace Bible Fellowship
Telephone: 919-468-4590
Website »

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Children make treasured memories while increasing their knowledge of plants and animals. Ages 7-10. Register online. Choose course #121614.

Cost: $8/resident, $10/nonresident

Where:
Stevens Nature Center/Hemlock Bluffs
2616 Kildaire Farm Rd.
Cary, NC
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Telephone: 919-387-5980
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Watch a brief slideshow, then explore the inner workings of the mill itself and witness the power of water as it turns the milling machinery. Preregistration is encouraged. 

Cost: $5/Adult, $4/Senior (ages 60+), $3/Child (ages 7-16), Free/Child (ages 6-under)

Where:
Historic Yates Mill County Park
4620 Lake Wheeler Road
Raleigh, NC  27603
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Telephone: 919-856-6675
Website »

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Geocaching is a treasure hunt where participants use GPS coordinates to track down hidden “caches.” Learn what geocaching is all about and head out to find a real geocache in the park! We will...

Cost: Free

Where:
Harris Lake County Park
2112 County Park Dr.
New Hill, NC  27562
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Sponsor: Harris Lake County Park
Telephone: 919-387-4342
Contact Name: Joanne St. Clair
Website »

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Look for signs of spring. All ages with adult. Register online. Choose course #121682.

Cost: $12/resident, $16/nonresident

Where:
Stevens Nature Center/Hemlock Bluffs
2616 Kildaire Farm Rd.
Cary, NC
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Telephone: 919-387-5980
Website »

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See Mickey Mills perform steel drum music as enjoyed in the Caribbean. 

Cost: $3/person

Where:
Century Center
100 N. Green St.
Carrboro, NC  27510
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Website »

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Take your little princesses and sing-a-long with your favorite fairytale friends. Take a camera for an opportunity to meet and pose for pictures with the princesses following their...

Cost: $10-$12

Where:
NC State Fairgrounds
1025 Blue Ridge Rd.
Raleigh , NC  27607
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Website »

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Michael Carbonaro brings his signature blend of bizarre antics, audience interaction, hilarious video clips, and mind-blowing magic to the stage. Purchase tickets online.

Cost: $40 and up

Where:
Durham Performing Arts Center
123 Vivian St.
Durham, NC  27701
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Ages 2-5 enjoy movement and mindfulness. Learn basic yoga elements through age-appropriate breath-work techniques, games, storytelling, and creative visualization.

Cost: $15 or use your package/membership

Where:
Kids Mindful Movement - Pittsboro
184 East St.
Pittsboro, NC  27312
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Website »

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Crows in red sweaters, nest and caw, gather snacks, and dodge a kitty’s paw. How many crows take to the sky? Count all the crows and watch them fly! Join us as we read this adorable story by...

Cost: Free

Where:
Historic Yates Mill County Park
4620 Lake Wheeler Road
Raleigh, NC  27603
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Telephone: 919-856-6675
Website »

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Ages 5-13. Homeschool Yoga is a one-hour class designed to strengthen and stretch the entire body, balance the nervous system, improve body awareness. Weave in art and journaling before or after...

Cost: $15 or use class pass/membership

Where:
Kids Mindful Movement - Pittsboro
184 East Street
Pittsboro, NC  27312
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Ages 5-13 enjoy a one-hour yoga class designed to strengthen and stretch the entire body, balance the nervous system, improve body awareness, encourage the development of communication and social...

Cost: $15 or use class pass/membership

Where:
Kids Mindful Movement - Pittsboro
184 East St.
Pittsboro, NC  27312
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Website »

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Enjoy a family-friendly movie on a big screen. Take snacks and blankets. Doors open at 9:30 a.m.

Cost: Free

Where:
The Halle Cultural Center
237 N. Salem St.
Apex, NC  27502
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Website »

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Ages 2-5 enjoy movement and mindfulness. Learn basic yoga elements through age-appropriate breath-work techniques, games, storytelling, and creative visualization and more.

Cost: $15/child, use your package/membership.

Where:
Kids Mindful Movement - Chapel Hill
781 Mt Carmel Church Rd
chapel hill, NC  27517
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Website »

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A brave young woman sets out on a journey to discover the mystery of her past through the twilight of the Russian Empire to the euphoria of Paris in the 1920s. Purchase tickets online.

Cost: $129 and up

Where:
Durham Performing Arts Center
123 Vivian St.
Durham, NC  27701
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Website »

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Ages 2-5 with caregiver enjoy sing-alongs, stories, a nature walk and a snack.

Cost: $2/resident, $3/nonresident

Where:
Hargraves Community Center
216 N. Roberson St.
Chapel Hill, NC  27516
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Website »

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Go back in time to the 18th century. Compare life then and now using pictures, artifacts, and modern objects as well as historic reproductions. In a guided inquiry, discover the purposes of several...

Cost: Free

Where:
Historic Yates Mill County Park
4620 Lake Wheeler Road
Raleigh, NC  27603
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Telephone: 919-856-6675
Website »

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Do you have what it takes to be a History Detective? Come to Yates Mill and find out! Solve puzzles, hunt for clues and investigate the mystery of milling with real historical artifacts inside the...

Cost: $5/Adult, $4/Senior (ages 60+), and $3/Child (ages 16 & under)

Where:
Historic Yates Mill County Park
4620 Lake Wheeler Road
Raleigh, NC  27603
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Telephone: 919-856-6675
Website »

More information

Connect with your baby, other parents and yourself during this adult-focused postpartum yoga class. Recommended for babies newborn to walking. Take a mat, a blanket for your little one, and...

Cost: $15 or use class pass/membership

Where:
Kids Mindful Movement - Pittsboro
184 East Street
Pittsboro, NC  27312
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Website »

More information

Expand your knowledge of local flora and fauna by exploring a different area of the park each month. Join park staff as they "nerd out" over amphibians, birds, insects, spiders and...

Cost: Free

Where:
Lake Crabtree County Park
1400 Aviation Pkwy.
Morrisville, NC  27560
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Sponsor: Lake Crabtree County Park
Telephone: 919-460-3355
Contact Name: Carol Cunningham
Website »

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Meet other families in your community in a recreation setting. The play room will be reserved for parents and their young children. Sports and recreation equipment will be available...

Cost: Free

Where:
Sanderford Road Center
2623 Sanderford Rd.
Raleigh, NC  27610
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Sponsor: Raleigh Parks, Recreation and Cultural Resources Department
Telephone: 919-831-1898
Contact Name: Adam Sproles
Website »

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Young Mowgli learns about friendship, survival and the laws of the jungle. All ages. Purchase tickets online.

Cost: $10/person

Where:
The ArtsCenter
300-G E. Main St.
Carrboro, NC  27510
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Website »

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Join park staff for an informal fishing experience for the whole family. Take your own poles or borrow one from the park. Bait and basic instruction are provided. All participants 16...

Cost: Free

Where:
Lake Crabtree County Park
1400 Aviation Pkwy.
Morrisville, NC  27560
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Sponsor: Lake Crabtree County Park
Telephone: 919-460-3355
Contact Name: Carol Cunningham
Website »

More information

A brave young woman sets out on a journey to discover the mystery of her past through the twilight of the Russian Empire to the euphoria of Paris in the 1920s. Purchase tickets online.

Cost: $129 and up

Where:
Durham Performing Arts Center
123 Vivian St.
Durham, NC  27701
View map »


Website »

More information

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Show Less...

Parent and child ages 2-5 water plants in the native wildflower gardens. Register online. Choose course #121560.

Cost: Free

Where:
Stevens Nature Center/Hemlock Bluffs
2616 Kildaire Farm Rd.
Cary, NC
View map »


Telephone: 919-387-5980
Website »

More information

This after-school class for kids in grades 3-5 offers fun learning yoga poses and mindfulness techniques to reduce stress. Grades 3-5. 

Cost: $15/class, or use your class pass/membership.

Where:
Kids Mindful Movement - Chapel Hill
781 Mt. Carmel Church Rd.
Chapel Hill, NC  27517
View map »


Website »

More information

A brave young woman sets out on a journey to discover the mystery of her past through the twilight of the Russian Empire to the euphoria of Paris in the 1920s. Purchase tickets online.

Cost: $129 and up

Where:
Durham Performing Arts Center
123 Vivian St.
Durham, NC  27701
View map »


Website »

More information

Take the family to see a movie by the lake. Movie begins at dusk. 

Cost: Free

Where:
Bond Park
801 High House Rd.
Cary, NC
View map »


Website »

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You may know the important role that milkweed plants play in the life of Monarch butterflies, but did you know that during World War II the government encouraged citizens to collect milkweed fluff...

Cost: Free

Where:
Historic Yates Mill County Park
4620 Lake Wheeler Road
Raleigh, NC  27603
View map »


Telephone: 919-856-6675
Website »

More information

Take your budding paleontologist on a quest to unearth colorful dinosaur eggs. Explore the Dinosaur Trail where you will find fun activities, adventure, and prehistoric excitement, including...

Cost: $7 for egg hunters, $2 for accompanying adults. Museum admission not included.

Where:
Museum of LIfe and Science
433 W. Murray Ave.
Durham, NC  27704-3101
View map »


Sponsor: Museum of Life and Science
Telephone: 919-220-5429
Contact Name: Heather Hill
Website »

More information

Join us for a day of family fun to welcome spring, including a picnic area, giant slides, a giant sandbox, the barrel train, and mini zip lines (weights up to 100 pounds).  An egg hunt for...

Cost: $8 Bunny Pass (includes egg hunt); $5 Chickee Pass

Where:
Hubb's Farm
10276 N US 421 Hwy
Clinton, NC  28328
View map »


Sponsor: Hubb's Farm NC
Telephone: 910-564-6709
Contact Name: Tammy Peterson
Website »

More information

Get ready for Easter with egg decorating. Make wooden eggs that will last for years. Along with the crafting, enjoy some treats.  Register online. 

Cost: $8/person

Where:
Bull City Craft
105 W NC highway 54
Suite 265
Durham, NC  27713
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Sponsor: Bull City Craft
Telephone: 919-419-0800
Contact Name: Jessica Greene
Website »

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Enjoy fun, games, friendship and more every Friday.

Cost: Free

Where:
Sanderford Road Center
2623 Sanderford Rd.
Raleigh, NC  27610
View map »


Sponsor: Raleigh Parks, Recreation and Cultural Resources Department
Telephone: 919-831-1898
Contact Name: Adam Sproles
Website »

More information

A brave young woman sets out on a journey to discover the mystery of her past through the twilight of the Russian Empire to the euphoria of Paris in the 1920s. Purchase tickets online.

Cost: $129 and up

Where:
Durham Performing Arts Center
123 Vivian St.
Durham, NC  27701
View map »


Website »

More information

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Step back in time with our 19th-century costumed interpreters and watch the millstones at work grinding corn into meal. Preregistration is encouraged. Tours are not available between Noon-1:00...

Cost: $5/Adult, $4/Senior (ages 60+), $3/Child (ages 7-16), Free/Child (6 - under)

Where:
Historic Yates Mill County Park
4620 Lake Wheeler Road
Raleigh, NC  27603
View map »


Telephone: 919-856-6675
Website »

More information

Take a walk in the woods and discover the animals and plants that call our park home. Help collect data for our Natural Resource Inventory Database and other citizen science projects. All...

Cost: Free

Where:
Crowder County Park
4709 Ten-Ten Road
Apex, NC  27539
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Telephone: 919-662-2850
Website »

More information

Take the family to enjoy a day of hands-on learning. Discover life on a 19th-century farm and play historic games, from parlor games to town ball, and make a toy of your own.

Cost: Free

Where:
Duke Homestead
2828 Duke Homestead Rd.
Durham, NC  27705
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Website »

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Explore the rich African American history along the streets of downtown. From stories of entrepreneurs, triumphs, and tragedy, you will discover the legacy of the men and women who lived, worked,...

Cost: Adults $10, Youth 7-17 $4. Free for ages 6 and younger

Where:
City of Raleigh Museum
220 Fayetteville Rd.
Raleigh, NC  27601
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Website »

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Take your Easter baskets and enjoy an Easter egg hunt featuring 25,000 eggs, including 3 golden eggs. Bounce houses, food, music and prizes round out the fun. Register today by texting...

Cost: Free

Where:
Baptist Grove Church
7109 Leesville Rd.
Raleigh, NC  27587
View map »


Sponsor: Baptist Grove Church
Telephone: (919) 787-4528 x224
Contact Name: Cynthia Jacko Wise
Website »

More information

Ages 4-12 with caregiver enjoy arts and crafts.

Cost: Free

Where:
Halle Cultural Arts Center
237 N. Salem St.
Apex, NC  27502
View map »


Website »

More information

Take your budding paleontologist on a quest to unearth colorful dinosaur eggs. Explore the Dinosaur Trail where you will find fun activities, adventure, and prehistoric excitement, including...

Cost: $7 for egg hunters, $2 for accompanying adults. Museum admission not included.

Where:
Museum of LIfe and Science
433 W. Murray Ave.
Durham, NC  27704-3101
View map »


Sponsor: Museum of Life and Science
Telephone: 919-220-5429
Contact Name: Heather Hill
Website »

More information

Enjoy an Easter egg hunt featuring games and prizes. 

Cost: Free

Where:
Genesis Church
6724 Hankinson Rd,
Wendell, NC  27591
View map »


Sponsor: Genesis Church
Telephone: 843-908-1700
Contact Name: Carolyn Lutz
Website »

More information

Celebrate the diversity of all children with music, crafts, dancing and more. Enjoy stage performances, international food, games and crafts.

Cost: Free

Where:
Sertoma Amphitheatre, Bond Park
801 High House Rd.
, NC  27513
View map »


Website »

More information

Put your dancing shoes on! Come to the mill yard to join our costumed interpreters in learning and dancing 19th-century country dances. You do not need to have a partner to dance—just a...

Cost: Free

Where:
Historic Yates Mill County Park
4620 Lake Wheeler Road
Raleigh, NC  27603
View map »


Telephone: 919-856-6675
Website »

More information

Step back in time with our 19th-century costumed interpreters and watch the millstones at work grinding corn into meal.  Preregistration is encouraged. Tours are not available between...

Cost: $5/Adult, $4/Senior (ages 60+), $3/Child (ages 7-16), Free/Child (ages 6-under)

Where:
Historic Yates Mill County Park
4620 Lake Wheeler Rd.
Raleigh, NC  27603
View map »


Telephone: 919-856-6675
Website »

More information

Stop by our FREE discovery table to learn about Earth Day, officially celebrated on April 22! Registration is not required. The display table is located by the Upper Playground.

Cost: Free

Where:
Crowder County Park
4709 Ten-Ten Road
Apex, NC  27539
View map »


Telephone: 919-662-2850
Website »

More information

For almost 200 years, farmers brought their wheat and corn to what is now Yates Mill to have their grains ground into flour and meal. Today, you can stop by the Yates Mill visitor center to see a...

Cost: Free

Where:
Historic Yates Mill County Park
4620 Lake Wheeler Road
Raleigh, NC  27603
View map »


Telephone: 919-856-6675
Website »

More information

A brave young woman sets out on a journey to discover the mystery of her past through the twilight of the Russian Empire to the euphoria of Paris in the 1920s. Purchase tickets online.

Cost: $129 and up

Where:
Durham Performing Arts Center
123 Vivian St.
Durham, NC  27701
View map »


Website »

More information

A brave young woman sets out on a journey to discover the mystery of her past through the twilight of the Russian Empire to the euphoria of Paris in the 1920s. Purchase tickets online.

Cost: $129 and up

Where:
Durham Performing Arts Center
123 Vivian St.
Durham, NC  27701
View map »


Website »

More information

Long ago, many families lived and worked on what is now Harris Lake County Park. Harvesting crops, tending livestock and carrying out daily chores were a major part of life in this bygone era....

Cost: Free

Where:
Harris Lake County Park
2112 County Park Dr.
New HIll, NC  27562
View map »


Sponsor: Harris Lake County Park
Telephone: 919-387-4342
Contact Name: Joanne St. Clair
Website »

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