Life With Twins
Life with twins is a journey filled with laughter, love and compromise
Twins Sky and Savannah Ingram graced Carolina Parent's November 2017 cover.
Photo courtesy of Melissa Hayes Photography
If I had to describe life with my 4-year-old twin girls, I think I would have to say that “Life is full.” Full of laughter, love, togetherness, compromise, tears, fears, smiles, hugs, shyness, independence, Disney princesses, gummies, icees, tag, hide and seek, the alphabet, handwriting, counting and, last but not least, learning to read for kindergarten.
On a typical day, I hear the following statement over and over and over again – times two. “I’m sorry.” “I accept your apology.” “No, you did that on purface (purpose).” “You are in my personal space.” “I can do it myself.” “Good job Mommy.” “When I get older I will drive you around.” “Can I have gummies before and after dinner?” “I love you.” “Mommy, you are tired because you did not go to bed on time.” “I’m going to ignore you Sky.” “I’m going to ignore you Savannah: Lets ignore each other.” And last but not least, “You are not telling the truth; your nose is growing.”
Fonda with her twins, Savannah and Sky
Photo courtesy of Dajuan Jones/In His Name Photography
Savannah is one minute older than Sky. She is the patient, more serious twin, and although it may be hard for me and others to embrace, Savannah has no interest in urgency. She takes lots of time with any task that you ask of her. Often, Sky tries to help Savannah with handwriting or a drawing. Savannah will start over ALL the time until she gets it just the way she wants it. Patience is the key when dealing with my flower child Savannah. She believes the world will take care of her and she often tells me “God made it that way Mommy.”
Although one minute younger, Sky is more assertive, fearless and strong-willed. Sky usually finishes everything first – except for eating. Sky likes to be first at everything – did I say everything – EVERYTHING. Now that the twins are learning to read, we often practice taking turns finding words in books. I give Savannah a word to find and then I give Sky a word to find. Sky will find her word quickly and then she will ask to find the word I gave Savannah. It will bother her if we move on to another activity, but rest assured she will not forget. Sky will remember and she will circle back even if I am in the shower. She will bring that book and tell you where those words are in that book as you lather or dry off. She says “See, I told you I could find Savannah’s word. I told you mommy! Bamember (Remember), I told you I could do it.”
With twins, I am always outnumbered and I have come to accept and finally embrace this fact. Sky and Savannah are quite effective at joining forces and getting their way. Yes, they gang up on me! Two against one! And yes, I am the parent, but honestly, there are a lot of days I do decide to let their wills prevail. I pick my battles carefully. I don’t need to win them all – I need to win the important ones and I need them to know that it’s OK for them to win as a team and as individuals. Hence, if you see the girls out with rainbow clothes and mismatched socks, you will know they won that decision that day.
For the Carolina Parent photo shoot, mommy won that day – LOL! The girls really love taking pictures and they have renamed “Carolina Parent” magazine the “Sky and Savannah” magazine. No amount of correcting changes this. Hahaha.
Our life is busy, and sometimes I forget to just enjoy and take the days as they come. When I meet parents of twins I always smile because I know they made it through those days when things were insane. Sometimes the moms have on lipstick and the husbands have a small amount of hair left on their face (not on their head) but they really smile when they talk about their twins and I know that if they made it, we can make it. One dad told me this and I love it: “The days are long but the years are short.”
Life with twins is a journey and I am learning to enjoy the ride and the pace. One thing I have started to do now is slow down for hugs. When I hug them, I linger and whisper in their ear how much I love them and how proud I am of them. They have started to do this to me now also. Sky has not mastered whispering yet so she speaks a bit loudly in my ear and Savannah leaves my ear a bit wet when she whispers. I’ll take a little ear ringing and a wet ear any day – it’s a small price to pay for those hugs.
Photo courtesy of the Ingram family