Chivalry and Modern Manners

Navigating etiquette guidelines in a progressive society


Published:

Hugh and Lily, seventh-grade students at Githens Middle School in Durham, show how to sit in a graceful and polite way at a party or other social event.

Photos courtesy of Morton Photography

It is hard to imagine a cuter scene than the annual Valentine’s Day Tea at St. David’s School in Raleigh. Dressed in coats and ties, second-grade boys escort second-grade girls — all in red party dresses — to their tables. The boys pull out chairs for their partners and gallantly pass cookies. Pinkies are not necessarily extended, but napkins are in laps. Emily Post would approve.

For the most part, parents — who are invited to the event as observers — approve, too. However, second-grade teacher Abby Brown says last year was the first time several parents expressed doubts. Is teaching traditional etiquette, with its age-old gender differentiation, appropriate in an age proud of its strong, independent girls and women? Here are four arguments to consider.


The Kindness Argument

Chivalry, Brown says, is all about kindness, respect and “being aware of the people around you.”

“Should a boy hold a door for a girl?” she asks. “Absolutely. And not just for a girl. It’s important to form habits of respect and awareness for everyone around you.”

Teachers at St. David’s School place a huge emphasis on character development and showing kindness and respect to teachers, parents and peers.

“We focus on this in everything we do, and the traditional manners we teach at our Valentine’s Tea are central to that message,” Brown says.

Margaret Vermillion, co-director for Durham Junior Cotillion, agrees that chivalry is simply a matter of learning to adjust your behavior to make other people feel comfortable.

“It feels good when someone holds the door open for you,” she says. “You feel respected. And it feels bad if you’re sitting across from someone chewing with their mouth open or slurping their soup.”

Brown incorporates the lessons from the Valentine’s Day Tea at St. David’s School into her classroom every day. Once a month, the “golden tray” is given to the class that has shown the best manners and etiquette in the lunchroom. Brown gives out a “golden spoon” each day to the child who has gone above and beyond to show respect and kindness to another student.

Donna Foard Knorr, who was a speech pathologist in Cabarrus County schools for 40 years, opened The Piedmont School of Etiquette because she sees manners as “life skills” that many children with whom she worked were lacking.

“Children want to know the rules,” she says. “They want to be polite and use good manners.”

Knorr says she is pleased at how quickly her students pick up the nuances of social interaction and how eager they are “to show the world they know how to act.”

Brown is equally pleased with the results at St. David’s School. “I see it all the time in the halls: Middle schoolers holding the door open for a teacher, male or female; and students addressing me and other adults with respect. “


The Self-Confidence Argument

“Chivalry sets you apart,” says Vermillion, whose popular cotillion classes for fifth- through eighth-graders always attract a crowd. “When you to know how to handle yourself in a variety of social situations, you’re going to exude self-confidence.”

Vermillion believes everything taught at cotillion — from table settings to handshakes to writing thank-you notes to dancing — gives her students the confidence to throw themselves into what otherwise might be challenging social situations.

“You don’t need to know what a shrimp fork is — just know the basics, so that at a nice dinner you can immediately sit down and think, ‘OK, Ms. Vermillion told me to always have my bread plate on the left.’ It just gives you confidence to focus on the people around you rather than on yourself.”

These lessons are not only still relevant, Vermillion insists, but vital at a time when social interaction is minimal among teens. She believes cotillion training provides the perfect phone-free, rule-protected venue for practice.

“Adult conversation is particularly difficult for this generation because their in-person exposure is so limited,” she says.

And the ballroom dancing? Important, too, Vermillion says, for helping preteens feel comfortable with the opposite sex.

“The first time those boys have to escort a girl into the room, they are so embarrassed. But that lasts about five minutes and then the awkwardness dissipates and they’re fine,” she says.

Vermillion does not believe that leading a girl into the room or pulling out her chair is chauvinistic. Indeed, she finds the opposite to be true.

“Clearly, a girl is capable of doing these things herself,” she says. “It is simply a sign of the boy’s admiration and respect. He is showing the girl he holds her in high esteem.”

Knorr is a stickler for gendered manners and reminds her students that a boy should not only hold the door open for a girl, but also offer his arm to a girl going up or down steps, that he should be the one to ask a girl on a date, and that he should then pay for a dinner or movie out.

Vermillion believes that arming a child with traditional manners will give him or her the confidence and social awareness to determine when and where to apply the rules.


The Success Argument

“Etiquette is necessary for success,” says Sarah Ho, senior assistant director for the Park Scholarships program at North Carolina State University in Raleigh.

This prestigious, full scholarship regularly attracts more than 2,200 applicants for 35-40 spots. The chosen students have excellent academic records, are deeply involved in their community, are leaders in student organizations and show the potential to make meaningful change in society.

“These students will be judged not just on their achievements, but on how they conduct themselves, and how they interact with peers and professionals,” Ho says. One of the first requirements for this elite group of students is an etiquette class.

The Park Scholarship program added manners training to the curriculum several years ago because students asked for it. As finalists for the scholarship, they are invited to a dinner with the program’s board members and the admissions committee, and many students want to learn proper etiquette for the event.

“It’s a big formal dinner,” explains Ho. “They are still in high school and they all feel nervous about looking professional and acting appropriately at the table. Once they realize this is just the first of many similar events, they all want the skills so they can focus on impressing, rather than on being nervous about making a mistake.”

Interestingly, Ho notes, among these amazingly impressive students, very few come in with a strong background in etiquette.

“Occasionally, we have someone who did cotillion and that person is always at an advantage,” she says.

Ho says the etiquette training they get is basic, starting with a firm handshake and eye contact, practice at a formal dinner, topics of conversation to avoid and what to do if something embarrassing happens.

Because there are now more women than men in the program, Ho points out that the gender imbalance makes the women less likely to expect chivalrous behavior. Nonetheless, she says there are definitely gendered aspects to the training, such as holding doors open and pulling chairs out. Chivalry and etiquette may have morphed to meet the modern world, she says, but “it would be a surprise if we ever reach a day when etiquette doesn’t matter.”

The important lesson for the Park Scholars, just as it is for the second-graders at St. David’s School and middle school students in cotillion, is that being kind leads to success.

This training works for the Park Scholars. Ho says the students go on to ace professional conferences and interviews for international fellowships and internships, and eventually they get hired for top jobs.

“Anticipating someone else’s needs is professional,” Ho says. “It can be something big, or it can be something as small as opening a door.”


The Silicon Valley Argument

Durham Junior Cotillion is thriving, with more than 50 students in the fifth-grade class alone, and other cotillion programs offered throughout the Triangle and the Charlotte area are doing just as well.

But is embracing traditional manners a “Southern thing”? Not according to Janine Gerzanics, director of Junior Manners Company in the heart of California’s Silicon Valley. She says cotillion classes in California were on the wane 10 years ago, but with the tech boom and population explosion around San Francisco, things have changed. Parents, she says, are focused on their children’s education and success. “All the kids have outstanding academics and fantastic extracurriculars, so parents look to cotillion to give their children a competitive edge in social interaction,” she says, adding that at Junior Manners Company, she and her staff teach traditional manners updated with “new manners for the 21st century.”

“In our incredibly diverse society, it is even more applicable to learn how to act appropriately, but it has to be made relevant,” Gerzanics says. “We’re not going to teach you to curl your pinkie as you drink your tea. We teach lessons that are applicable for all events and all times.”

She views cell phones as one of the main challenges for this generation of families.

“It is our job to move them out of ‘me, me, me,’ and to think about the people around them. They are not selfish, per se, they just have no idea how egocentric social media has made them.”

While Junior Manners Company tries to teach students to decrease their dependence on smartphones, the classes do incorporate phone and social media etiquette, as well.

“We recognize the ubiquity of cell phones and try to enforce the idea that manners are important online as well as off,” Gerzanics says.

Like Durham Junior Cotillion, the classes at Junior Manners Company teach traditional chivalry and ballroom dancing. And, like Vermillion, Gerzanics believes chivalry shows respect, not superiority.

“It is very possible that boys will hold open a door for a woman who does not appreciate the gesture, but he should come away from the situation knowing he did the right thing” she says.

Gerzanics often closes her classes by quoting from the book “Wonder” by R.J. Palacio. “The principal says that you often have to decide whether to be kind or to be right. But that if you are kind, then you are always right,” she says.

It would be hard to find a parent who would disagree with that.


Etiquette Must-do’s and Maybes

MUST-DO’s:

1. Greet someone with a short, firm handshake, address the person by name and be sure to look the person in the eye.

2. When it comes to table manners, know basic place-setting rules (e.g., outside-in with utensils). Make it pleasant for everyone (e.g., never chew with your mouth open). Participate in conversation.

3. Say “please” and “thank you.”

4. Send thank-you notes — preferably handwritten, though an email (not a text) will do in a pinch.

5. Hold the door open for someone older to show respect, and for anyone who looks like he or she could use help.

6. Put smartphones away during conversations, while sitting at a table for a meal and while in a car.

7. Be aware of the people around you. If someone’s grocery bag breaks, help pick up the groceries. Offer your seat in a waiting room or on the bus to an elderly person — or to anyone who looks like he or she needs it more than you do.

8. If you invite someone on a date, plan to pay for it.


MAYBES:

1. A boy should hold the door open for a girl.

2. A boy should be the one to ask a girl on a date.

3. A boy should always pay for a date.

4. A boy should go out of his way to introduce himself to his date’s parents.

5. A boy should share his umbrella and offer his coat to his date if she looks cold.

6. A boy should let a girl order first at a restaurant.


Etiquette Resources

“Emily Post’s Etiquette, 19th Edition: Manners for Today” by Lizzie Post and Daniel Post Senning

“Tiffany’s Table Manners for Teenagers” by Walter Hoving

“American Girl: A Smart Girl’s Guide: Manners: The Secrets to Grace, Confidence, and Being Your Best” by Nancy Holyoke

“Teenagers Tips for Success: Create a Future, Achieve Your Dreams and Become Very Successful” by James Malinchak

Durham Junior Cotillion at Hope Valley Country Club

Junior Manners Company

National League of Junior Cotillions Cary (Prestonwood Country Club)


​Caitlin Wheeler is a freelance writer in Durham.

 

Edit ModuleShow Tags
Edit ModuleShow Tags

Related Content

Nov. 18-21 Cookbook Creations, Owl Be Seeing You, Spy School and Storytime at the Museum

Nov. 18-21: Cookbook Creations, Owl Be Seeing You, Spy School and Storytime at the Museum

Cut Your Own Tree at a North Carolina Christmas Tree Farm

Choose-and-cut Christmas tree farms in the Triangle and beyond

Where to Celebrate Kwanzaa in the Triangle

Performances, arts and crafts, drumming, candle lighting and more mark this year's festivities
Edit ModuleShow Tags
Edit ModuleShow Tags

Calendar

November 2019

Our seventh annual food drive will be held during the month of November. All donations benefit the Food Bank of Central and Eastern North Carolina (www.foodbankcenc.org). We encourage you to get...

Cost: FREE. Registration is not required.

Where:
Crowder County Park
4709 Ten-Ten Rd
Apex, NC  27529
View map »


Telephone: 919-662-2850
Website »

More information

We will be conducting a food drive during the month of November. All donations benefit the Food Bank of Central and Eastern North Carolina (www.foodbankcenc.org). We encourage you to get involved...

Cost: FREE. Registration is not required.

Where:
Historic Yates Mill County Park
4620 Lake Wheeler Road
Raleigh, NC  27603
View map »


Telephone: 919-856-6675
Website »

More information

A full, half marathon and 5k with convenient parking and fast course right off I-40. The RDC 5k takes place on Nov. 9 and Marathon/half marathon will take place on Nov. 10. ...

Cost: See website for fees

Where:
Southpoint Mall and American Tobacco Trail
6910 Fayeteville Rd
Durham, NC  27713
View map »


Website »

More information

Comic book pop culture goes into overdrive at this festival that features new exhibits, panel discussions, workshops, cosplay and more. Purchase tickets online. 

Cost: $20 and up

Where:
Durham Convention Center
301 W. Morgan St.
Durham, NC  27701
View map »


Website »

More information

Whole Brain Escape, the Triangle’s newest escape room, is debuting its 4th room! Located in Apex, Whole Brain Escape is excited to unveil The Curse of Dr. Conundrum on Friday, November 8th....

Cost: $29/person

Where:
Whole Brain Escape
410 Upchurch St
Apex, NC  27502
View map »


Sponsor: Whole Brain Escape
Telephone: (919)355-2714
Contact Name: Heather Chandler
Website »

More information

Take part in a walk to deal with grief and honor those lost to suicide while raising money for local suicide prevention groups across the Triangle. Register online. 

Cost: $35

Where:
Halifax Mall, downtown Raleigh
, NC  27601


Website »

More information

Friends of Lower Haw is offering this free family outing in the Lower Haw River State Natural Area in Chatham County.  Join Board of Directors member Megan Lynch as we wander along the Haw...

Cost: Free

Where:
Lower Haw River State Natural Area
Bynum, NC  27228


Sponsor: Friends of Lower Haw River State Natural Area
Website »

More information

Leave your GPS at home and learn how to find your way using only a compass and a map. We will cover the basics of orienteering, including reading bearings, calculating your stride and more. Use...

Cost: FREE

Where:
Lake Crabtree County Park
1400 Aviation Pkwy.
Morrisville, NC  27560
View map »


Sponsor: Lake Crabtree County Park
Telephone: 919-460-3355
Contact Name: Carol Cunningham
Website »

More information

Discover Historic Yates Mill – a place of business, community, and exciting local history! Watch a brief slideshow, then explore the inner workings of the mill itself and witness the power of...

Cost: $5/Adult, $4/Senior (60+ yrs), $3/Child (7-16yrs), Free/Child (6yrs & younger)

Where:
Historic Yates Mill County Park
4620 Lake Wheeler Road
Raleigh, NC  27603
View map »


Telephone: 919-856-6675
Website »

More information

Girl Scouts in grades 6-8 spend the afternoon with activities to learn all about trees. Discover the parts of a tree and their functions, how trees are used in everyday life, create a craft...

Cost: $15 per girl scout; no charge for troop leaders or other accompanying adults

Where:
JC Raulston Arboretum
4415 Beryl Rd.
Raleigh, NC  27606
View map »


Website »

More information

The Triangle Youth Jazz Fall Concert presents an afternoon of big band jazz selections. Purchase tickets online.

Cost: See website for fees

Where:
Cary Arts Center
101 Dry Ave.
Cary, NC  27511
View map »


Website »

More information

See horses compete and enjoy food trucks, children's activities and more. Admission is free; Saturday evening Grand Prix tickets are $10/person. Proceeds benefit Duke Children's...

Cost: Free

Where:
Gov. James B. Hunt Horse Complex
4601 Trinity Rd.
Raleigh, NC  27607
View map »


Website »

More information

Show More...
Show Less...

We will be conducting a food drive during the month of November. All donations benefit the Food Bank of Central and Eastern North Carolina (www.foodbankcenc.org). We encourage you to get involved...

Cost: FREE. Registration is not required.

Where:
Historic Yates Mill County Park
4620 Lake Wheeler Road
Raleigh, NC  27603
View map »


Telephone: 919-856-6675
Website »

More information

Our seventh annual food drive will be held during the month of November. All donations benefit the Food Bank of Central and Eastern North Carolina (www.foodbankcenc.org). We encourage you to get...

Cost: FREE. Registration is not required.

Where:
Crowder County Park
4709 Ten-Ten Rd
Apex, NC  27529
View map »


Telephone: 919-662-2850
Website »

More information

Join us Monday Nov 11th for a Full Day Rock Band Camp! This camp is best for ages 7+. NO experience necessary!! Drop off starts at 8:45am Pickup is 5:00pm Students will learn two songs and...

Cost: $70

Where:
Bach to Rock Music School
958 US 64
Apex, NC  27523
View map »

More information

Whole Brain Escape, the Triangle’s newest escape room, is debuting its 4th room! Located in Apex, Whole Brain Escape is excited to unveil The Curse of Dr. Conundrum on Friday, November 8th....

Cost: $29/person

Where:
Whole Brain Escape
410 Upchurch St
Apex, NC  27502
View map »


Sponsor: Whole Brain Escape
Telephone: (919)355-2714
Contact Name: Heather Chandler
Website »

More information

Discover Historic Yates Mill – a place of business, community, and exciting local history! Watch a brief slideshow, then explore the inner workings of the mill itself and witness the power of...

Cost: $5/Adult, $4/Senior (60+ yrs), $3/Child (7-16yrs), Free/Child (6yrs & younger)

Where:
Historic Yates Mill County Park
4620 Lake Wheeler Road
Raleigh, NC  27603
View map »


Telephone: 919-856-6675
Website »

More information

Show More...
Show Less...

We will be conducting a food drive during the month of November. All donations benefit the Food Bank of Central and Eastern North Carolina (www.foodbankcenc.org). We encourage you to get involved...

Cost: FREE. Registration is not required.

Where:
Historic Yates Mill County Park
4620 Lake Wheeler Road
Raleigh, NC  27603
View map »


Telephone: 919-856-6675
Website »

More information

Our seventh annual food drive will be held during the month of November. All donations benefit the Food Bank of Central and Eastern North Carolina (www.foodbankcenc.org). We encourage you to get...

Cost: FREE. Registration is not required.

Where:
Crowder County Park
4709 Ten-Ten Rd
Apex, NC  27529
View map »


Telephone: 919-662-2850
Website »

More information

Nature Peekers: Owl Babies Tuesday, November 12, 10:30-11 a.m. Three baby owls awake one night to find their mother gone, and they can’t help but wonder where she is. What adventures will they...

Cost: Free

Where:
Blue Jay Point County Park
3200 Pleasant Union Church Rd
Raleigh, NC  27614
View map »


Website »

More information

Turkeys have very colorful feathers! Celebrate this Thanksgiving season with crafts all about this important bird! We will bring the materials if you bring the imagination! For all ages (adult...

Cost: For all ages (adult accompaniment required for all children); FREE. Registration

Where:
Crowder County Park
4709 Ten-Ten Rd
Apex, NC  27529
View map »


Telephone: 919-662-2850

More information

Whole Brain Escape, the Triangle’s newest escape room, is debuting its 4th room! Located in Apex, Whole Brain Escape is excited to unveil The Curse of Dr. Conundrum on Friday, November 8th....

Cost: $29/person

Where:
Whole Brain Escape
410 Upchurch St
Apex, NC  27502
View map »


Sponsor: Whole Brain Escape
Telephone: (919)355-2714
Contact Name: Heather Chandler
Website »

More information

The science of weather is called meteorology. This program investigates the basics of meteorology: what causes the weather, how meteorologists study it, and why it is important that they do!...

Cost: FREE

Where:
Lake Crabtree County Park
1400 Aviation Pkwy.
Morrisville, NC  27560
View map »


Sponsor: Lake Crabtree County Park
Telephone: 919-460-3355
Contact Name: Carol Cunningham
Website »

More information

Ages 11-17 create old-fashioned taffy and hard candy using ingredients like caramel, marshmallow and chocolate. Register online. Choose course #127043.

Cost: $18/resident, $23/nonresident

Where:
Herbert C. Young Community Center
101 Wilkinson Ave.
Cary, NC
View map »


Website »

More information

Show More...
Show Less...

We will be conducting a food drive during the month of November. All donations benefit the Food Bank of Central and Eastern North Carolina (www.foodbankcenc.org). We encourage you to get involved...

Cost: FREE. Registration is not required.

Where:
Historic Yates Mill County Park
4620 Lake Wheeler Road
Raleigh, NC  27603
View map »


Telephone: 919-856-6675
Website »

More information

Our seventh annual food drive will be held during the month of November. All donations benefit the Food Bank of Central and Eastern North Carolina (www.foodbankcenc.org). We encourage you to get...

Cost: FREE. Registration is not required.

Where:
Crowder County Park
4709 Ten-Ten Rd
Apex, NC  27529
View map »


Telephone: 919-662-2850
Website »

More information

Please join Admissions, Division Directors and our Head of School as they talk about Duke School’s unique program, specifically for Preschoolers (3-4 year olds) for the 2020-21 school year. A...

Cost: $0

Where:
Duke School
3716 Erwin Road
Durham, NC  27705
View map »


Sponsor: Duke School
Telephone: 919-416-9420
Contact Name: Logan Blaylock

More information

Whole Brain Escape, the Triangle’s newest escape room, is debuting its 4th room! Located in Apex, Whole Brain Escape is excited to unveil The Curse of Dr. Conundrum on Friday, November 8th....

Cost: $29/person

Where:
Whole Brain Escape
410 Upchurch St
Apex, NC  27502
View map »


Sponsor: Whole Brain Escape
Telephone: (919)355-2714
Contact Name: Heather Chandler
Website »

More information

Show More...
Show Less...

We will be conducting a food drive during the month of November. All donations benefit the Food Bank of Central and Eastern North Carolina (www.foodbankcenc.org). We encourage you to get involved...

Cost: FREE. Registration is not required.

Where:
Historic Yates Mill County Park
4620 Lake Wheeler Road
Raleigh, NC  27603
View map »


Telephone: 919-856-6675
Website »

More information

Our seventh annual food drive will be held during the month of November. All donations benefit the Food Bank of Central and Eastern North Carolina (www.foodbankcenc.org). We encourage you to get...

Cost: FREE. Registration is not required.

Where:
Crowder County Park
4709 Ten-Ten Rd
Apex, NC  27529
View map »


Telephone: 919-662-2850
Website »

More information

Ages 1-5 and caregiver delight in the discoveries of nature. Register online. 

Cost: $8/resident, $10/nonresident

Where:
Stevens Nature Center/Hemlock Bluffs
2616 Kildaire Farm Rd.
Cary, NC
View map »


Telephone: 919-387-5980
Website »

More information

Whole Brain Escape, the Triangle’s newest escape room, is debuting its 4th room! Located in Apex, Whole Brain Escape is excited to unveil The Curse of Dr. Conundrum on Friday, November 8th....

Cost: $29/person

Where:
Whole Brain Escape
410 Upchurch St
Apex, NC  27502
View map »


Sponsor: Whole Brain Escape
Telephone: (919)355-2714
Contact Name: Heather Chandler
Website »

More information

November Story Time, Puppet Show and Art Activity Puppet Show Incorporated https://www.puppetshowinc.org/ presents the classic folk story Stone Soup. Activities include a story time, puppet show...

Cost: Free

Where:
Hillsborough Main Library
137 West Margaret Lane
Hillsborough, NC  27278
View map »


Sponsor: Orange County Library
Telephone: 919-245-2525
Contact Name: Beth Hawkey
Website »

More information

Don’t miss one of the Triangle’s most popular fundraisers, benefiting Urban Ministries of Wake County. Stone Soup Supper, presented by Bank of America, that features 15 local...

Cost: $25-$45/person

Where:
McKimmon Center
1101 Gorman St.
Raleigh, NC
View map »


Website »

More information

Learn the basics of Stop Motion Animation then make your own movie.  Call to register, 919-245-2532. Space is limited. Best for kids ages 8 and up. 

Cost: Free

Where:
Orange County Main Library
137 W Margaret Ln
Hillsborough, NC  27278
View map »


Sponsor: Orange County Public Library
Telephone: 919-245-2539
Contact Name: Libbie Hough
Website »

More information

See horses compete and enjoy food trucks, children's activities and more. Admission is free; Saturday evening Grand Prix tickets are $10/person. Proceeds benefit Duke Children's...

Cost: Free

Where:
Gov. James B. Hunt Horse Complex
4601 Trinity Rd.
Raleigh, NC  27607
View map »


Website »

More information

Show More...
Show Less...

We will be conducting a food drive during the month of November. All donations benefit the Food Bank of Central and Eastern North Carolina (www.foodbankcenc.org). We encourage you to get involved...

Cost: FREE. Registration is not required.

Where:
Historic Yates Mill County Park
4620 Lake Wheeler Road
Raleigh, NC  27603
View map »


Telephone: 919-856-6675
Website »

More information

Our seventh annual food drive will be held during the month of November. All donations benefit the Food Bank of Central and Eastern North Carolina (www.foodbankcenc.org). We encourage you to get...

Cost: FREE. Registration is not required.

Where:
Crowder County Park
4709 Ten-Ten Rd
Apex, NC  27529
View map »


Telephone: 919-662-2850
Website »

More information

When Possum sees the full harvest moon, he decides to throw one last party before the long winter. But everyone is too busy preparing for winter and it looks as if nobody will come to Possum's...

Cost: FREE. Registration is required.

Where:
Historic Yates Mill County Park
4620 Lake Wheeler Road
Raleigh, NC  27603
View map »


Telephone: 919-856-6675
Website »

More information

Discover all things sweet potato at the State Farmers Market. 

Cost: Free

Where:
State Farmers Market
1201 Agriculture St.
Raleigh, NC  27603
View map »


Website »

More information

Whole Brain Escape, the Triangle’s newest escape room, is debuting its 4th room! Located in Apex, Whole Brain Escape is excited to unveil The Curse of Dr. Conundrum on Friday, November 8th....

Cost: $29/person

Where:
Whole Brain Escape
410 Upchurch St
Apex, NC  27502
View map »


Sponsor: Whole Brain Escape
Telephone: (919)355-2714
Contact Name: Heather Chandler
Website »

More information

At Read and Feed's Novel Night Gala, attendees will enjoy premier cocktails and fanciful food all while supporting Read and Feed’s efforts to give kids an appetite for reading. Tickets...

Cost: $125

Where:
Marbles Kids Museum
201 E Hargett St.
Raleigh, NC  27601
View map »


Sponsor: Read and Feed
Website »

More information

See horses compete and enjoy food trucks, children's activities and more. Admission is free; Saturday evening Grand Prix tickets are $10/person. Proceeds benefit Duke Children's...

Cost: Free

Where:
Gov. James B. Hunt Horse Complex
4601 Trinity Rd.
Raleigh, NC  27607
View map »


Website »

More information

Show More...
Show Less...

We will be conducting a food drive during the month of November. All donations benefit the Food Bank of Central and Eastern North Carolina (www.foodbankcenc.org). We encourage you to get involved...

Cost: FREE. Registration is not required.

Where:
Historic Yates Mill County Park
4620 Lake Wheeler Road
Raleigh, NC  27603
View map »


Telephone: 919-856-6675
Website »

More information

Our seventh annual food drive will be held during the month of November. All donations benefit the Food Bank of Central and Eastern North Carolina (www.foodbankcenc.org). We encourage you to get...

Cost: FREE. Registration is not required.

Where:
Crowder County Park
4709 Ten-Ten Rd
Apex, NC  27529
View map »


Telephone: 919-662-2850
Website »

More information

Give rugby a try. Take part in tag rugby pick-up games every Saturday morning at Baileywick Road Park, near the Second Shelter.  No experience necessary. All ages. 

Cost: Free

Where:
Baileywick Road Park
9501 Baileywick Rd
Second Shelter Field
Raleigh, NC  27615
View map »


Sponsor: Raleigh Redhawks Rugby
Contact Name: denise travis
Website »

More information

Yates Mill Associates invites you to their annual holiday sale. Browse an array of gifts including crafts handmade by talented volunteers; Yates Mill souvenir mugs, T-shirts and hats; and cookbooks...

Cost: Registration is not required.

Where:
Historic Yates Mill County Park
4620 Lake Wheeler Road
Raleigh, NC  27603
View map »


Telephone: 919-856-6675
Website »

More information

Step back in time with our 19th-century costumed interpreters and watch the millstones at work grinding corn into meal. Tour fee: $5/Adult, $4/Senior (ages 60 & over), $3/Child (ages 7-16),...

Cost: $5/Adult, $4/Senior (60+ yrs), $3/Child (7-16yrs), Free/Child (6yrs & younger)

Where:
Historic Yates Mill County Park
4620 Lake Wheeler Road
Raleigh, NC  27603
View map »


Telephone: 919-856-6675
Website »

More information

Search for turkey cutouts that will be hidden throughout the park’s various trails and greenway. Each turkey “caught” can be redeemed for a special award (limit one award per...

Cost: $5/child

Where:
Joyner Park
701 Harris Rd.
Wake Forest, NC  27587
View map »


Website »

More information

Ages 1-5 and caregiver delight in the discoveries of nature. Register online. 

Cost: $8/resident, $10/nonresident

Where:
Stevens Nature Center/Hemlock Bluffs
2616 Kildaire Farm Rd.
Cary, NC
View map »


Telephone: 919-387-5980
Website »

More information

Ages 4-12 enjoy free arts and crafts. Registration not required. Children must have adult accompaniment. 

Cost: Free

Where:
Halle Cultural Arts Center
237 N. Salem St.
Apex, NC  27502
View map »


Website »

More information

November Story Time, Puppet Show and Art Activity Puppet Show Incorporated https://www.puppetshowinc.org/ presents the classic folk story Stone Soup. Activities include a story time, puppet show...

Cost: Free

Where:
Carrboro Branch Library
900 Old Fayetteville Road
Inside McDougle Middle School
Chapel Hill, NC  27516
View map »


Sponsor: Orange County Library
Telephone: 919-969-3006
Contact Name: Beth Hawkey
Website »

More information

Take a walk in the woods and discover the animals and plants that call our park home. Help collect data for our Natural Resources Inventory Database and other citizen science projects. All...

Cost: FREE. Registration is not required.

Where:
Crowder County Park
4709 Ten-Ten Rd
Apex, NC  27529
View map »


Telephone: 919-662-2850
Website »

More information

Whole Brain Escape, the Triangle’s newest escape room, is debuting its 4th room! Located in Apex, Whole Brain Escape is excited to unveil The Curse of Dr. Conundrum on Friday, November 8th....

Cost: $29/person

Where:
Whole Brain Escape
410 Upchurch St
Apex, NC  27502
View map »


Sponsor: Whole Brain Escape
Telephone: (919)355-2714
Contact Name: Heather Chandler
Website »

More information

Step back in time with our 19th-century costumed interpreters and watch the millstones at work grinding corn into meal. Tour fee: $5/Adult, $4/Senior (ages 60 & over), $3/Child (ages 7-16),...

Cost: $5/Adult, $4/Senior (60+ yrs), $3/Child (7-16yrs), Free/Child (6yrs & younger)

Where:
Historic Yates Mill County Park
4620 Lake Wheeler Road
Raleigh, NC  27603
View map »


Telephone: 919-856-6675
Website »

More information

During harvest time, farmers often helped their neighbors to get hard work done during communal gatherings such as corn shucking. Learn about this fall tradition and make a corn husk doll to take...

Cost: FREE. Registration is not required.

Where:
Historic Yates Mill County Park
4620 Lake Wheeler Road
Raleigh, NC  27603
View map »


Telephone: 919-856-6675
Website »

More information

Usher in the holidays with a tree-lighting ceremony at 5:30 p.m. Carolers, a visit from Santa, a dance scene from the Nutcracker, special performances from local schools, and dozens of...

Cost: Free

Where:
Lafayette Village
8450 Honeycutt Rd.
Raleigh, NC  27615
View map »


Website »

More information

All evening and into the night, 3000 pounds of molten iron will be poured into molds, in an exciting fiery display. Additionally, there will be Liberty Arts artists’ work for sale, scratch...

Cost: Free

Where:
Durham Central Park
501 Foster St.
Durham, NC  27701
View map »


Website »

More information

Discover what's happening as the sun sets and listen to stories around a campfire. All ages with adult. Register online. Choose course #127674.

Cost: $18/resident, $24/nonresident

Where:
Stevens Nature Center/Hemlock Bluffs
2616 Kildaire Farm Rd.
Cary, NC
View map »


Telephone: 919-387-5980
Website »

More information

East Cloud Kungfu hosts a Parent's Night Out event, featuring a safe environment for kids as they about the wide world of kungfu.   Check it out!...

Cost: $25 first child, $20 each additional child

Where:
East Cloud Kungfu, LLC
5655-A Western Blvd
Raleigh, NC  27606
View map »


Sponsor: East Cloud Kungfu, LLC
Telephone: 252-646-7053
Contact Name: Imari Colon
Website »

More information

Join the Studio School of Durham team to sip, tinker, and create on Saturday, November 16th at 7:00pm for this FREE event!  We will provide the food, wine, beer, and non-alcoholic...

Cost: Free

Where:
The Studio School of Durham
1201 W Woodcroft Pkwy
Durham, NC  27713
View map »


Sponsor: The Studio School of Durham
Telephone: 984-377-4502
Contact Name: Danielle Sunde
Website »

More information

The EWFL carries a unique experience in youth football to play in a “big game” atmosphere.  Our games begin in the afternoons on Saturday and play into the evening “under the...

Cost: See website for fees

Where:
Durham County Stadium
750 Stadium Dr
Durham, NC  27704
View map »

More information

See horses compete and enjoy food trucks, children's activities and more. Admission is free; Saturday evening Grand Prix tickets are $10/person. Proceeds benefit Duke Children's...

Cost: Free

Where:
Gov. James B. Hunt Horse Complex
4601 Trinity Rd.
Raleigh, NC  27607
View map »


Website »

More information

Show More...
Show Less...
Edit Module Edit ModuleShow Tags
Edit ModuleShow Tags

Directories

Edit ModuleShow Tags Edit ModuleShow Tags

Annual Guides

Education Guide

The 2019-20 Education Guide offers 718 education resources in the Triangle, including area preschools, private schools, public school systems, charter schools, boarding schools and academic resources.

The Triangle Go-To Guide

Our Triangle Go-To Guide connects you to family fun resources across the Triangle. In our 2019-20 issue, explore 1,028 resources for family fun.